COMING FRIDAY ON MORE2LIFE–Getting In Synch (Plus, Win a Free Book–Drawing today!)

Coming Friday on More2Life:  Getting in Synch– The Theology of the Body reminds us that we were created to live in unity with God and others. Sometimes we have flashes of that unity and we talk about being “in synch” with another person–where things feel easy and just make sense.  Everyone wants to feel comfortable and at peace with the people in their life.  But getting to that place where our relationships feel easy and comfortable takes work!  Today on M2L, we’ll talk about what it takes to be in synch with others and how to overcome the obstacles to unity we encounter along the way.

Call in at 877-573-7825 from Noon-1 Eastern (11-Noon Central) with your questions about overcoming the obstacles to unity that you encounter in your relationships.

Can’t get M2L on a Catholic radio station near you? YOU CAN STILL HEAR US!
~ Listen via our FREE AveMariaRadio IPhone or Android App (Check your app store!),
~ Tune in live online at www.avemariaradio.net
~ or catch our archived shows via the M2L Podcast (also at avemariaradio.net)

WIN A FREE BOOK–DRAWING TODAY–in our SUMMER BOOK GIVEAWAY! (Details below).

Q of the D:  (Two-fer.  Answer one or both to win!)

1.  What do you think it takes to be “in synch” with another person?

2.   What do you think gets in the way of being “in synch” with the people in your life?

*Win a free book!  Every day you respond to the question of the day your name will be entered in a radio drawing to win a free book from the Popcak Catholic Living Library (over 10 titles in all)!  Again, each day that you respond you will get another chance at winning a free book in the drawing held every Friday on More2Life Radio.

This week’s featured title is:  How to Find True Love. —How to find true love is a book about finding God’s love hidden in the little moments of everyday life.  Each chapter is a short reflection on another surprising way we can experience more love in our lives and, ultimately, experience how much God, himself, truly loves us.

Winners will be announced on air and contacted by FB message following the drawing TODAY–Friday, 6/21.

 

“Am I Crazy?” The 9 Components of Mental Health and How You Get Them.

Believe it or not, a mental health professional can make it through his or her bachelor’s, master’s, and doctoral programs without having a single, significant discussion on what the term “mental health” actually means (or the term “mind” for that matter).

We tend to be trained to think that mental health is “not” something.  In other words, one becomes mentally healthy when they are “not depressed” or “not anxious” anymore.   At best, we receive a very functional definition of mental health.  That is, a person can be considered mentally healthy if they are able to function well at work and in relationships.  That’s a decent working definition, but it leaves a lot of territory unexplored.

Mental Health:  New Insights:

Within the last few years, thanks to the development of functional imaging (fPET, fMRI) and the brain research that these technologies make possible, mental health professionals have a clearer sense than ever of what “mental health” actually consists of.  Additionally, research is beginning to show what processes contribute to mental health.  We can now watch the brain at work and see the environmental conditions that enable the brain to function at its best.  We’ll look at that in a minute.  First, let’s examine the 9 factors that research shows constitutes good mental health.  (Note:  This article is largely based on the excellent book by Daniel J. Siegel. Pocket Guide to Interpersonal Neurobiology: An Integrative Handbook of the Mind (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology.” W. W. Norton, 2012.   I highly recommend this work for additional information on this subject)

Mental Health:  The 9 Factors

When the human brain is working at its best, it is capable of doing 9 things that contribute to what we might commonly consider, “good mental health.”  They are:

1. Body Regulation—the ability to keep the organs of the body and the autonomic nervous system (e.g, heart rate, respiration, body temperature) coordinated and balanced.  Body regulation isn’t just about physical health.  Emotions begin as an embodied experience.  For example; a racing heart and shallow respiration often precipitate feelings of panic/anxiety.  Feelings of exhaustion or under-stimulation often precipitate depression.

2. Attuned Communication—the ability to pick up on the meaning of subtle, non-verbal, physical cues (facial expressions, tones of voice, posture) that indicate another person’s emotional states and degree of well-being.  People with Autism spectrum disorders especially have a difficult time with this.

3. Emotional Balance—the ability to maintain optimal emotional functioning.  That is, I know how to be emotionally stimulated enough to be aware and engaged in my circumstances and relationships but not so emotionally stimulated that I am regularly flooded by my feelings and carried away by them.

4. Response Flexibility—the ability to pause before acting on my impulses and willfully change the direction of my actions if doing so suits me better than my initial impulses.  People with ADHD, pathological anger, addictions, and other impulse control problems struggle with this skill.

5. Fear Modulation—reducing fear.  Self-explanatory.  People with anxiety and panic disorders, especially, have a difficult time modulating the brain’s fear responses.  They become easily flooded with anxiety where others might just experience nervousness or even excitement.

6. Insight—the ability to reflect on my life experiences in a way that links my past, present, and future in a coherent, cohesive, compassionate manner. In sight helps me make sense of both the things that have happened to me in the past and the things that are happening to me now.

7. Empathy—Essentially, empathy is the ability to have insight (as defined above) into other people.  Empathy is the ability to imagine what it is like to be another person, and to reflect on their experiences in a way that links their past, present, and future in coherent, cohesive. compassionate manner.  Empathy helps you make sense of other people’s lives, the way they think, and their feelings.

8. Morality—the ability to imagine, reason, and behave from the perspective of the greater good.  Includes the ability to delay gratification and find ways to get my needs met while understanding and accommodating the needs of others.

9. Intuition—having access to the input from the body and its non-rational ways of knowing that fuel wisdom.  One’s “gut sense” of things is actually based on a complex process by which  one’s right brain makes “quick and dirty” global assessments of one’s feelings and circumstances.

We have seen from decades of research that the human brain, when it is experiencing optimal functioning, is able to do all of these things.   The degree to which you can say you are “mentally healthy” is the degree to which you can say these things are true about you.  The exciting thing about this definition of mental health is that a person does not have to wait until their life, work, or relationships are suffering before they get help.  A person could reasonably look at this list and say, “I want to do a better job with this mental skill”  enabling them to seek professional help long before their marriage, work, or life begins to fall apart because of those deficits.

Ok, So, How Do I Get These Things?

There are really two versions of this question.  The first is, “How does a person come by these qualities in the first place?”  The second question is, “If I don’t have one or more of these qualities, how do I get them?” Let’s look at each question in turn.

–How does a person come by the 9 components of mental health in the first place?

Researchers such as Daniel Seigel (UCLA), Allan Schore (UCLA), Marco Iacoboni (UCLA), Louis Cozolino (Pepperdine), Stephen Porges (U of Illinois) and others point to decades of research showing that it is actually healthy attachment bonds between parent and child that enable the brain to develop at least 8 of the 9 components of mental health to their fullest potential (n.b., the 9th quality, intuition, has not been adequately studied to determine its origins).

If it seems odd that a parenting style could have so much impact on brain development and mental health, it shouldn’t.  Fully 90% of our brain develops after birth.  Although the brain research to support this assumption is fairly new, psychology has always looked at the impact of parenting and the structure of one’s family of origin as the cradle of mental health or mental disorder.   In the last 20 years, however, it is become possible to see that this assertion isn’t just a social, psychological, or characterological phenomenon. It is also, even primarily, physiological.   Both psychology and Catholic theology (especially the Theology of the Body) assert that the person is essentially and inherently a social/relational being.  As Genesis 2:18 says, “it is not good that man should be alone.”   We just never appreciated how deeply true this assertion was.  Two decades of brain research show us that, in fact, it is our relationships that provide the soil in which our brains grow.    Brain science now teaches that healthy, attached, parent-child relationships yield the healthiest, best integrated brain function and mental health outcomes.  The very parenting practices that lead to healthy attachment have been shown–by studies that are completely independent of one another–to be the parenting practices that brain researchers have identified as leading to the greatest degree healthy brain development.

—What Does Brain-Wise Parenting Look Like?

Specifically, these parenting practices include:

~consistent, sensitive, & prompt parental response to the child’s cues and needs.

~extravagant levels affection.

~gentle discipline approaches that focus more on teaching good behavior than punishing bad.

These parenting practice release chemicals in the child’s brain that promote nerve growth (allowing new connections to form), the inter-regional connectivity of the brain (allowing different parts of the brain to communicate more efficiently), and myelin formation (myelin is the insulation around the nerve cell.  A well-myelinated nerve carries information 3000 times faster than a poorly myelinated nerve).

—What Parenting Practices Inhibit Brain Development?

Likewise, research has shown that each of the opposite parenting practices (i.e, inconsistent, less-sensitive and prompt parental response to cues; lesser levels of affection; harsh discipline techniques that punish rather than teach) stress the brain and cause it to go into “lock down.”  This leads to poorer nerve growth, poorer inter-regional connectivity, and poorer levels of myelination. The authors I cited previously, and others like them, universally assert that the parenting practices promoted by attachment theorists for being the best practices for healthy parent-child attachment are the same practices that enable the brain to develop the skills (above) that are necessary for optimal brain functioning and, by extension, good mental health.

—But Isn’t It Just Genetic?

Many people believe that mental and emotional problems are genetic.  This is not strictly accurate.   We now know that the parenting environment (and indeed, the overall environment as well) in which a child grows up releases different chemicals in the brain that lead to certain genetic expressions. This is called “epigenetics”  (i.e., the study of how our environment impacts the development of genetic traits).  Different parenting environments literally release different chemical responses in the child’s brain leading to different genes being expressed and different traits being developed.  We no longer can meaningfully talk about nature vs. nurture.  The discussion has evolved from this to be more about how the dialog between nature and nurture  ultimately results in certain traits and behaviors being expressed.

–So, if I don’t have one or more of these qualities, how do I get them?

The techniques a therapist uses in counseling–including the therapeutic relationship itself–have been shown by neuroimaging studies to actually heal physical damage to the social brain and promote healthy brain functioning.   For instance, cognitive-behavioral techniques help the brain develop healthy top-down/left-right integration so that I can both understand and control my emotions more effectively.  Mindfulness-based approaches to therapy–which promote a person’s ability to observe themselves from a healthy, third person perspective–have been shown to enhance insight, emotional regulation, and whole-brain functioning.  Relationship-based therapies and spiritually-based therapies have been shown to promote empathy, moral functioning, and attuned communication especially.   The therapeutic relationship itself–rooted as it is in radical acceptance, affirmation and gentle correction–is a milieu that promotes healing of wounded attachment bonds.

Thanks to the development of empirically-based interventions (i.e., techniques rooted in research rather than philosophy), well-trained therapists have a clearer sense of what therapeutic techniques promote each of the nine components of mental health.  As research develops, mental health professionals will be able to make even clearer connections between the specific techniques in their toolbox and the specific mental skills a client needs to heal psychological wounds and promote optimal mental health.

What’s in Your Toolbox?  An Assessment: 

Take another look at the list of the 9 components that make up good mental health?  What are your strengths?  What are the areas that you could do better in?  Having a good sense of your strengths and weaknesses in reference to the 9 components of mental health can empower you to avoid more serious problems before they occur and give you important insights into why you struggle in the areas you do.

If you would like assistance in developing the skills that define good mental health or would like help in overcoming the challenges in your life, emotions,  or relationships that prevent you from being your best, contact the Pastoral Solutions Institute (740-266-6461) for more information on how you can work with a professional Catholic therapist via our tele-counseling practice.

The good news is that with new information and new developments in psychotherapy practice, you can learn the skills you need to cooperate with God’s grace to become the best version of yourself and live a more abundant psychological, emotional, and relational life

What Can the Theology of the Body Teach Us about Managing Stress?

“I’m so busy!”  “There isn’t enough time!”  Seemingly universal laments.  Life is filled with opportunities to be stressed and to become even more stressed all the time.

In short bursts (of a few minutes or so) stress can be useful.  Stress, when it functions according to its purpose, calls our mind and body to be attentive and responsive to the challenges in front of us.  Ideally, stress ramps us up so that we can make a plan to handle those situations and then the stress should go away.   We are not meant to live in a perpetual state of stress (which might come as a surprise to most people).  Once stress motivates us to make a plan, it should decrease.

All Stressed Up and Nowhere to Go…

The problem is that, in the face of stress,  we often don’t actually stop to make a plan.  We become hyper-focused on the stressful event and live in a state of reaction rather than receptivity.    Looking at stress through the lens of the Theology of the Body,  we see that stress stops us from being receptive to God and to others.  The Theology of the Body reminds us that a healthy life (i.e., a life dedicated to seeking connection with God and others and open to his unfolding plan) is a receptive life; that is, a life in which we are open to the movement of the Holy Spirit in the moment and responsive to both the needs of others and the love they have to share with us.

This is Your Brain on Stress…

Brain research shows that, under prolonged stress, the mind becomes rigid, closed, rejecting, and task/thing-focused.  When I allow myself to remain in a state of prolonged stress, I become stuck in old patterns and closed to new possibilities.  I reject help and new ideas as useless before I have really taken the time to consider them.  Further, I focus all my energy either on simply pushing through the problem or looking for things that will make me feel better in the short term without considering the bigger picture.    This stressed-out posture is the antithesis of a receptive mind and spirit which–again, according to brain research–is always curious, open, accepting, and loving (COAL).  Curiosity allows us to seek new solutions, to be open to asking the questions that enable us to hear the Holy Spirit speaking to us in the moment.  Openness allows us to consider possibilities we hadn’t entertained before.  Acceptance refers to the willingness to suspend our judgment of new options and possibilities before we have gathered all the information we need to chart a healthy course of action.  Loving refers to our willingness to put the well-being of people (ourselves included) before the accomplishment of tasks or the acquisition of things.

 

Stress:  The Antidote

Again, from both the perspective of the Theology of the Body and brain science, the antidote to stress is connection.  The Theology of the Body reminds us of Genesis’ assertion that, “it is not good for man to be alone.”  Brain science bears this out.  When the mind becomes dis-regulated by stress (i.e., our emotions override our intellect instead of the intellect and emotions working in partnership) the quality of our connection to God and others tends to determine the degree of resilience (“bounce-back-ability”) we will display.   Taking time to maintain a strong connection with God and the people we love and who love us even when we’re under stress helps the mind see our problems through others eyes, reminds us that help is readily available, and calls our attention to the most important things.  Likewise, intimate connection with God and others fills our body with “calm-down chemicals” like oxytocin that help us to be at peace in the presence of stress.

Taking “Time In”

So-called, “time-in” practices, such as meditative prayer (e.g., rosary, adoration, etc.), rituals of connection (e.g., regularly scheduled and anticipated times to play, talk, work, and play with loved ones), self-care (e.g., good nutrition and physical activity), and leisure (e.g., hobbies and creative endeavors) have all been shown by brain research to help a person develop a more receptive mindset in the presence of stressful events.  These practices highlight the power of the Theology of the Body’s insights that we were both created and destined for intimate connection with God and others and that the more we pursue these connections, the more we “become what we are.”  That is, persons who function best when we are both working to create communities of love and pursuing intimate connection with the God who created us, sustains us, and leads us on the path to wholeness.

For more strategies for dealing gracefully with the stress in your life, check out God Help Me, This Stress is Driving Me Crazy!   Finding Balance Through God’s Grace.   or contact me at the Pastoral Solutions Institute to discover how you can work with a faithful, Catholic counselor through our tele-counseling practice.

 

Coming Tues 5/7 on More2Life Radio: SERENITY NOW! The Quest for Peace.

COMING TUES ON More2Life–SERENITY NOW!  We all want peace in our hearts and in our relationships.  But peace is hard to find and we often settle for quiet.  There’s an important difference between the two, however, and mere quiet can never satisfy our hunger for true peace.

 

Today on More2Life we’ll look at the quest for peace.   We’ll explore what peace really is and what it takes to create it in our hearts and in our lives.

 

M2L FB Q of the D:  Where would you like to have more peace in your life and what is keeping it from you?

Call in from Noon-1pm Eastern (11am-Noon C) at 877-573-7825 with your questions about creating a more peaceful life.

 

Can’t get M2L on a Catholic radio station near you? YOU CAN STILL HEAR US!
~ Listen via our FREE AveMariaRadio IPhone or Android App (Check your app store!),
~ Tune in live online at www.avemariaradio.net
~ or catch our archived shows via the M2L Podcast (also at avemariaradio.net)

It is Not Good for Man to be Alone

Genisis 2:18 tells us, “It is not good for man to be alone.”  The theology of the body builds on this idea to assert the donative meaning of our body and science has ample examples of why people are social by nature.  Add this one to the list.

According to new research, if you’re struggling with self control, the best way to achieve it is to surround yourself with strong-willed friends.

We all desire self-control — the resolve to skip happy hour and go to the gym instead, to finish a report before checking Facebook, to say no to the last piece of chocolate cake. Though many struggle to resist those temptations, new research suggests that people with low self-control prefer and depend on people with high self-control, possibly as a way to make up for the skills they themselves lack.

…The findings are particularly interesting because previous research has typically focused on the downsides of low self-control, such as poorer academic achievement and health outcomes. But this new research suggests that individuals who lack self-control may actually have a unique skill: the ability to pick up on self-control cues in others and use those cues to form adaptive relationships.

“What we have shown is that low self-control individuals seem to implicitly surround themselves with individuals who can help them overcome temptation — you get by with a little help from your friends,” says (lead researcher) Catherine Shea  (READ MORE)

This shouldn’t be a huge surprise for anyone who has every tried to diet or exercise–or make any other major change–on their own, but the piece that I think is important to emphasize is how important reaching out to others is when trying to make a change.  Often, I will ask clients who are struggling with anger, or trying to overcome a porn addiction, or recover from infidelity, what they think they need to do to change their ways.  The most common response is, “I just need to not do that anymore.”

If only it were that simple.  None of us  like to show our weaknesses to others, but when we can find the courage to openly discuss our problems–especially with people who are in the position to help us, we can borrow a little of their health and strength to make up for what we lack.  Pride is the deadliest sin because it stops us from being willing to ask for help.  If you’re looking to make a change, reach out to someone who has the strength you’d like to borrow today.

—-If it’s time to make a change in your marriage, family, or personal life, contact the Pastoral Solutions Institute to learn more about working with a faithful, professional, Catholic counselor through out Catholic tele-counseling practice.

Coming Friday on More2Life Radio: What’s In YOUR Basket?

What’s in YOUR Basket?     As we enter into Holy Week and  get ready for Easter, we want to reflect on the virtues that help us rise up to live life as a gift.  We’ll look especially at the fruits of the Spirit (Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, and Self-Control) and explore ways to increase the experience of these and other virtues in our daily lives.

Do you have questions about being a more loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, gentle, self-controlled person?  Then call in from Noon-1pm Eastern (11am-Noon Central) at 877-573-7825

Don’t forget to answer our M2L Facebook Q of the D:  If you had to choose one, which virtue/quality (for example:  love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control, etc) would help you the most in your life and why?

Listen to More2Life live weekdays from Noon-1pm E (11am-Noon C). Can’t get M2L on a Catholic radio station near you? Tune in live online at www.avemariaradio.net, listen via our FREE AveMariaRadio IPhone or Android App (Check your app store!), or catch the M2L Podcast!

Pope Francis, “Keep watch over your emotions!”

In his homily for his installation, Pope Francis reflected on the “vocation of protector”  so ably modelled by St. Joseph, who’s feast we celebrate today.  In his comments, Pope Francis made some surprising and important comments on the importance of developing emotional control and how our ability to be good stewards of our emotions directly affects our ability to be the protectors of one another God calls us to be.

But to be “protectors”, we also have to keep watch over ourselves! Let us not forget that hatred, envy and pride defile our lives! Being protectors, then, also means keeping watch over our emotions, over our hearts, because they are the seat of good and evil intentions: intentions that build up and tear down!   (Read more)

Pope Francis makes a powerful point about the obligation for Christians to master their emotions.  But what does that mean?  As we discussed on the show today, “emotional control” doesn’t mean stuffing your feelings, denying your feelings, or refusing to recognize your feelings.  It means being aware of your feelings and being able to choose to make the healthiest response in the presence of those feelings. 

On More2Life Radio today–which was all about heeding Pope Francis’ call to emotional control–Lisa used a great analogy.  She said that emotions are like a grade school fire alarm and that learning emotional control is like a fire drill.  In the presence of that fire alarm, some kids want to naturally run around like chickens with their heads cut off (the “effusers” in our metaphor).  Other kids just sit there and stare at the wall (i.e., the emotional “stuffers”).  But both groups of kids need to learn to line up behind the teacher promptly, and proceed calmly to the nearest exit.  That’s really true.    Whether our initial emotional reaction is to effuse or stuff, the path to emotional control is learning to recognize your emotions and still be able to choose the healthiest response to the circumstance in the presence of your emotions.  When the emotional fire alarm rings, we need to line up behind our master, Jesus Christ, and follow him wherever he leads.

—When you need faithful, Catholic marriage, family, or personal counseling, the Pastoral Solutions Institute Tele-Counseling Practice can help.  Visit our website or call 740-266-6461 to make an appointment to speak with a professional Catholic counselor.

Coming Tues on More2Life Radio: When Feelings Attack!

Coming Tues on M2L: When Feelings Attack!– Our emotions are a natural part of us and therefore a gift from the Lord, but when our feelings of anger, anxiety, sadness, and frustration run away with us (as they often do) emotions easily become the gift we’d like to return.  Today on M2L, we’ll talk about developing a healthy attitude toward our emotions and what it takes to control your feelings instead of letting them control you.

Don’t forget to answer our M2L Facebook Q of the D:  (A Two-fer:  Answer one or both)  1. When are your feelings most likely to get the best of you? 2. What feelings are the hardest to deal with in others (and why)?

Listen to More2Life live weekdays from Noon-1pm E (11am-Noon C). Can’t get M2L on a Catholic radio station near you? Tune in live online at www.avemariaradio.net, listen via our FREE AveMariaRadio IPhone or Android App (Check your app store!), or catch the M2L Podcast!

The Mindful Catholic

“Mindfulness” is a quality psychologists define as the ability to be (1) present in the moment and (2) consciously able to choose the best response out of a number of emotional possibilities.  Mindfulness is the opposite of being reactive.  For instance, if my kid was getting on my nerves and I was being reactive, I would feel angry and yell at him  But if my kid was getting on my nerves and I was being mindful, I would feel angry, be aware of that anger, and be able to decide whether this was a time that was better served by yelling (there are times…) or by doing something else (e.g., redirecting, gently correcting, etc.)  Where reactivity is emotion that is automatically and necessarily translated into action, mindfulness is awareness of my emotions that leads to awareness of possible responses and conscious action.

Mindfulness has been associated with better emotional, relational, and spiritual health and an important source of a healthy self-image (because it facilitates self-control and peacefulness).

Some Catholics who are aware of mindfulness have concerns about it because most psychological writing on mindfulness comes out of a Buddhist tradition.  Buddhism is attractive to psychologists because it is an a-theistic religion (i.e., the belief in God is optional for Buddhists, who are chiefly concerned with personal enlightenment).  Be that as it may, Catholics have been practicing their own form of mindfulness for 2000 years only we call it, “active contemplation.”

Contemplation is a kind of Christian prayer that helps us achieve greater intimacy with God, greater awarness of what God is saying to us, and greater clarity of how God wants us to respond.  “Active contemplation” is the ability to use the mundane tasks of everyday life to this end. To be actively contemplative allows me to see the guy cutting me off in traffic as a metaphor for God’s patience with me when I cross him and a call to greater develop greater patience with others in return.  To be actively contemplative allows me to hear God giving me advice about a situation I’ve been praying about–through the mouth of my 7 year old who is talking about some completely unrelated thing.  to be actively contemplative means having the self-possession to feel one way, but be able to choose the better way despite those feelings.  To be actively contemplative means to be able to feel depressed, or anxious, or angry and see that acting on those feelings is not in my best interest and be able to choose to do something else.

Cultivating mindfulness is, for the Catholic, an important skill for spiritual, emotional, and relational well-being.

Question:  When are you most able to be mindful and what makes it possible?  What do you see as the biggest challenge to your attempts to practice mindful, active contemplation?

What’s Your Moral Mindset?

New research suggests there are two basic moral mindsets.  I’ll call them “Balancers” and “Principled Deciders”

“Balancers” are the folks who are nervous about being “too good” or “too bad.”  Moral Balancers tend to make their next moral decision based on the last moral choice they made.  If they were generous last time, they might be more likely to give you the short end of the stick this time.  By contrast, if they feel that maybe they were a little selfish last time, they might be more likely to be more generous this time.

“Principled Deciders” are people who make decisions based on their understanding of more objective moral principles.  That’s not to say that they always choose what’s good, just that whatever decision they make–for good or ill–they make it because of what they understand to be a universal standard of right or wrong.

The downside to balancers is that they tend not to be particularly reliable.  Their choices are all relative to their self-perception.  If I think well of myself, I can allow myself a moral “cheat day.”  If I feel a little guilty, I’ll balance it out by letting the old lady have the parking space…this time.

What’s most interesting is that the research shows  the Principled Deciders can actually do the most damage.  If they manage to convince themselves that a bad moral choice is actually the right one, they’ll keep making it time and again and they won’t feel much guilt about it.  It can be difficult to convince a Principled Decider that they are wrong even when there are serious consequences to their actions.

What I think all this highlights is the importance of forming our conscience according to the mind of the Church.  Neither personal feelings or reason alone is sufficient to empower us to consistently do the right thing.  We need an objective standard to weigh our decisions against and we need the accountability and humility that comes from submitting our will to that of Christ in his Church.  Good pastoral guidance and confession can provide important checks and balances no matter what our personal style of moral decision making happens to be.