What Does the Theology of the Body Have to Do with Mental Health?

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Which is more important to your health, your mind or your body? How you or your health care provider answers that question has real implications for your well-being.

Most of us treat the body and mind as two separate entities, reaching for a pill for physical pain and going to therapy for emotional struggles. Inevitably, this divide leaves us feeling fragmented and poorly served by modern medicine.

But the Catholic Church has long insisted that body and mind are not competing entities, but are profoundly united. Spirit and matter “are not two natures united, but rather their union forms a single nature” (Catechism #365).

It’s a radically countercultural doctrine. For centuries, influential thinkers have pulled this unity apart. On one side, Plato and René Descartes treated the body as a sort of prison for the mind; early pioneers of psychology like Freud and Skinner followed suit by largely ignoring the body’s role in mental health. On the other side, materialist philosophers claimed that the human being is nothing more than a complex biological machine—a view that resurfaced when the discovery of psychiatric medications led many modern experts to reduce mental health to “chemical imbalances” in the brain.

In recent decades, modern science has come to recognize that mind and body are a single, deeply connected system. The Catholic Church has known this for centuries, and in the writings of Pope John Paul II, now known as the Theology of the Body, that ancient truth has been developed into a comprehensive framework for understanding the human person.

The Theology of the Body is foundational to the way the pastoral counselors at CatholicCounselors.com approach pastoral therapy. Here’s what it teaches and why it matters for your mental health.

A Roadmap for Human Wellness

When St. John Paul II became pope in 1978, he brought with him a manuscript he had been developing for years on what it means to be a human person. His starting point, as Dr. Popcak describes on the More2Life radio show, was this: if we took everything God has given us—creation, Scripture, salvation history, all of it—what universal principles could we discover about living a more abundant life and having healthier, holier relationships?

The answer became a comprehensive vision of the human person: what it means to be human, how we are wired for mental and emotional flourishing, and how we relate to one another. This vision became known as the Theology of the Body, and several of its insights speak directly to mental health.

Your Body is Speaking. Are You Listening?

One of TOB’s central claims is that our bodies are part of how God communicates his design for us. As Lisa Popcak explains on the show, drawing on St. Thomas Aquinas, God speaks to us through every cell of our bodies. Aquinas called this the Book of Nature—the idea that how God designed us, body, mind, and spirit, reveals his plan for how we are meant to live and relate to one another.

“Theology of the Body reminds us that biology is theology,” Dr. Popcak explains. “By prayerfully reflecting on the way God built our bodies and brains, we can discern important insights about what it takes to live a healthy, holy life.”

The human body offers numerous examples of this principle at work.

  • The face. The human face has roughly 43 muscles dedicated almost entirely to emotional expression—far more than almost any other animal. Humans are also unique among primates in having visible whites of the eyes, which allows others to track exactly where we are looking and what we are paying attention to. We are, literally, built to be
     “read” and to “read” others. The body reveals that we are made for mutual knowing.
  • Mirror neurons. God wired the human brain with mirror neurons—cells that fire when we observe another person’s emotional state, producing a similar feeling in ourselves. This is the neurological basis for empathy. We are designed not merely to observe others’ inner lives, but to share them.
  • Touch. Physical touch—a hand on a shoulder, a long hug from someone you trust—triggers the release of oxytocin, a hormone that reduces cortisol, lowers heart rate, and builds a sense of safety and trust. Research shows that holding someone’s hand during a stressful situation measurably reduces their physiological stress response. The body is designed to give and receive comfort through physical presence—another form of self-donation.
  • Secure attachment. When people feel securely connected to God and others, their nervous system operates in a calmer, more integrated state. The body’s social engagement system is literally activated by felt safety in relationship. Isolation, by contrast, keeps the nervous system in a low-grade state of vigilance and threat. This is why withdrawal from God and others doesn’t just feel painful—it physiologically disrupts our capacity to function well.
  • Anxiety. Brain science tells us that anxiety is not primarily a response to external problems, but acts as a warning signal that something is wrong in our connections to God and others. “Rather than being a direct response to problems,” Lisa Popcak explains, “anxiety is actually a sign that we feel disconnected from people—the people that God has placed in our life to support us. The key to regaining our peace is working to restore that sense of communion and connection.” When we feel anxious, the body is sending a message: go find safe, healthy people.

Physical symptoms like panic attacks, chronic tension, and persistent exhaustion follow the same logic. They are often the body making visible some dysfunction in the mind or spirit. Medication may help manage those symptoms, but lasting healing requires attending to the whole person.

We Are Wired for Communion

These five examples point toward one of TOB’s most practically important teachings: we are made for communion. Not just in the sense that other people are nice to have around, but in the deeper sense that we are literally strongest when connected to God and to one another—physically, neurologically, and spiritually designed to give and receive love.

As Dr. Popcak puts it, isolation doesn’t just leave us running low; it actively drains us. When problems cause us to withdraw from God and the people we love, our brains change in ways that make us feel powerless, overwhelmed, and alone.

This understanding that we are made for relationship shapes the Popcaks’ approach to specific problems. When a caller struggles with anxiety, for example, the conversation might move toward examining what connections in their life feel threatened or broken. Other times, when someone lacks the confidence to tackle a tough problem, the Popcaks urge the practice of receptivity, which Lisa explains as “the ability to listen to God in the moment so we’re not just relying on our own strength or our own instincts or even our own fears to guide us.”

Suffering is Not the End of the Story

Perhaps the deepest gift the Theology of the Body offers to people in pain is a way to understand their suffering.

As the Popcaks explain, every human story follows the pattern of the larger biblical story of God’s relationship with humanity.

  1. Chapter one is original man—who God created us to be before sin: “secure, whole, capable of loving and being loved totally without fear.”
  2. Chapter two is historical man—the wounded people we are now, “living in a fallen world, carrying the scars of sins committed against us and the sins and mistakes that we’ve made.”
  3. Chapter three is eschatological man—the people we are becoming, day by day, through God’s healing grace. Ultimately, we are destined to be fully restored and glorified in Christ.

The paschal mystery—Christ’s suffering, death, and Resurrection—blazed a path for us from chapter two to chapter three. Because Christ took on a human body, he did not suffer abstractly. He suffered physically and emotionally (body and mind): exhaustion, grief, betrayal, abandonment, and death. Human suffering does not have to be meaningless: God himself has walked this territory, and because he has, he can lead us through it.

“Even in the middle of difficult times,” Lisa says, “God wants to show us how to respond to what we’re going through in a way that helps us to become the people he created us to be, and to work for the good of those around us.”

It is tempting to think that our wounds, our struggles, and our bad habits define who we are. But the Theology of the Body insists otherwise.

“Our past may explain some things about us,” Dr. Popcak says, “but it’s grace that defines us.”

Body, Mind, and Spirit Working Together

Pastoral counseling rooted in the Theology of the Body doesn’t treat the body, mind, and spirit as separate departments. It understands them as interlocking dimensions of a single human experience. Tackling relational or personal problems means taking all three into account, and the Theology of the Body offers a framework for doing exactly that.

If you’d like to explore what that kind of integrated healing might look like in your own life, reach out to any of the pastoral counselors at CatholicCounselors.com.

Family Prayer Doesn’t Need to be Complicated

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Do you want to pray more as a family but struggle to make it happen? If so, you’re not alone. A 2015 study by the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate (CARA) and Holy Cross Family Ministries found that only 17 percent of Catholic families ever pray together regularly.

The parents gave lots of different reasons for not praying together with family members: busy schedules, lack of shared beliefs, and not knowing how, among other reasons.

Whatever might be preventing your family from praying more together, Dr. Greg and Lisa Popcak have two messages for you. First, praying together as a family will not only Strengthen your whole family’s relationship with God, but with one another as well. And second, developing a regular habit of praying together may not be as difficult as you think.

In fact, family prayer often works best when it is simple, heartfelt, and woven into the natural flow of your day, the Popcaks said in a recent video presentation to parish groups exploring the CatholicHŌM program.

 Here are a few tips for getting started.

1. Adjust Your Image of What Family Prayer Can Be

Often, the biggest impediment to families praying together is our image of what it necessarily looks like. If we imagine that family prayer needs to be:

  •       long and quiet
  •       formal or rote
  •       a certain form of prayer (e.g., the rosary, shared intentions)

…then it might feel difficult to pull off, or alternatively, not worth the trouble.

But as the Catechism of the Catholic Church explains, at its most fundamental, prayer is really about being in the presence of God (#2565). The Catechism describes it as a “relationship,” a “conversation,” or “a close sharing between friends” (#2709).

Understanding this broad definition of prayer opens up lots of possibilities. It also gives families permission to enter into relationship with God in a way that makes the most sense for their particular situation.

While many parents aspire to prayer that looks a lot like what happens in a monastery, seminary, or adoration chapel, family spirituality isn’t so much about withdrawing from the world in order to be with God as much as it is about bringing Christ into the world.

Dr. Greg calls this an “incarnational” spirituality: “We don’t have to pretend that our family is any less messy or busy or crazy than it normally is,” he said. “We just have to bring God into whatever it is, because bringing God into even the messiest situation or the busiest situation or the most frustrating situation enables it to be a moment of holiness.”

That’s the good news: prayer with kids doesn’t have to be polished. It simply needs to bring God into the everyday.

2. Create Routines for Family Prayer

One of the first steps toward making family prayer happen is to make it a routine by setting aside one or more times to pray together every day.

The Popcaks suggest starting with three touchpoints most families already have:

  1. Morning Prayer. Don’t worry—this isn’t about adding 20 minutes to your already crazy mornings. It can be as simple as blessing your child when you wake them up: “Lord, bless my child. Be with them in their worries and joys today.” Over time, even little ones can learn to bless you back. Or, alternatively, if everyone is rushing out the door, gather for just two minutes in the hallway before the day begins. “However you do it, the point is that you want to give the day to God: bringing your thanks to him, bringing your concerns to him, and asking him to help you be the family he wants you to be,” Dr. Greg said.
  2. Mealtime Prayer. Make it a habit to pause for prayer before you begin to eat, the Popcaks say. You can use a formal meal blessing, if you like—but then, incorporate a less formal “check in” prayer, too. “Say, ‘Thank you, God, for the blessings so far in the day’—and you can name a few if you’d like—‘and please help us with the rest of our day,’ and name a few of the things you need help with,” Lisa said.
  3. Bedtime Prayer. There are many options for bedtime prayer: you can read a short passage from a children’s Bible, pray for your concerns, and pray for one another. Bedtime prayers can be especially powerful when they are “cuddly,” reminding children that prayer is both comforting and relational. As Greg says, “The very first faith stage is what we call the cuddly stage of faith, where children learn that it feels good to be in God’s presence.”

Whatever your particular style of prayer looks like, be sure to model conversational prayer—that “close sharing between friends,” as St. Theresa of Avila called it—that builds your family’s closeness with God.

Offer ‘Micro-Prayers’ Throughout the Day

If prayer is the way we nurture our friendship with God, then it is only natural to come to God in prayer throughout the day, not just at set times.

“Don’t just relegate God to specific times of the day,” Dr. Greg said. “Make sure you’re bringing him with you throughout the day, because that’s a really key component of making sure that Christ is the most important part of our family.”

These micro prayers don’t have to be a big production—in fact, they might be just a few seconds long.

“It’s 10 seconds, but you’re bringing God into the good moments, and the difficult moments, and the times where you need help,” Dr. Greg said. “You’re creating a habit of developing a relationship with God throughout the day.”

Some examples of micro-prayers include:

  • Thank Jesus for small blessings (“Thank you, Lord, for a beautiful day”).
  • Call on him in struggles (“Lord, please help my daughter feel better”).
  • Offer thanks for moments of joy (“Thank you, Jesus, for that parking spot near the door”).

These short prayers teach children to talk to God throughout the day and form a lifelong habit of prayer, Lisa Popcak said. “So when they’re out on their own, as schoolchildren, as teenagers, as adults, they have that ingrained in them. When they have a great time, a blessing, or a harder time, they too will develop that idea of, ‘I’m just talking to God all day long.’”

Take Things Deeper with Formal Prayer

In addition to conversational prayer, families should also introduce the Church’s formal prayers. Ending your morning or bedtime prayer with an Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be connects family life to the wider Church and helps us to explore new dimensions of our relationship with God that we wouldn’t necessarily bring up on our own.

“All these formal prayers enable me to take my conversational prayer life deeper, but they assume that there is a conversational prayer life to take deeper,” Dr. Greg said. “Because if we just use formal prayers in the place of a heartfelt prayer, we never learn to have a personal relationship with Christ, which is critically important.”

You don’t need to stick with basic prayers, either. The Church has a vast library of prayers in its liturgical tradition, not to mention the prayers of the saints. Try praying the Magnificat, for example, or St. Theresa’s Bookmark, or the Lorica of St. Patrick. You can try out Saint Ignatius’ daily examen or imaginative prayer methods, or use one of the many resources available to explore a kid-friendly version of Lectio Divina. It’s good for kids to see that there are many ways of connecting with God!

Take the Next Step

Family prayer doesn’t require perfection, only intention. As Dr. Greg said, “There’s no wrong way to pray as long as you’re carving out regular time for it, and you’re being intentional and heartfelt about it.”

Want more guidance, encouragement, and practical tools for praying as a family? Explore the CatholicHŌM program, where you’ll find professional coaching, thriving community, and a library of resources to make faith the source of warmth in your home. And if your parish is interested in hosting an in-person CatholicHŌM parish group, reach out at hello@catholichom.com.

When You Can’t Find the Way Forward, Try Practicing Receptivity

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We’ve all been there, unable to decide how to move forward on an important decision or a tough problem.

Maybe you’re facing a decision and simply can’t tell which choice is best, because they seem equally good. Or you’re trying to discern what God wants you to do about a particular challenge, but the way forward feels foggy. Perhaps someone you love—a spouse, child, family member, or friend—is wrestling with their own problem, spinning their wheels, and you’re not sure how to help.

You find yourself stuck in a mental loop, imagining all the “what if” scenarios: what if I choose this path and it backfires, or that path and it causes more harm? Sometimes both options seem equally bad, and you’re left feeling paralyzed.

As Dr. Greg and Lisa Popcak discussed on a recent episode of More2Life, our instinct in this situation is often to react—to do something, anything, just to make the discomfort stop.

Modern life almost demands that kind of instant reaction. As Lisa put it, “We’re conditioned to jump, fight, fix it, or flee from it.” From text messages and emails to arguments and stressful headlines, we get used to living in a constant state of urgency. But this reactive mindset can send us down the wrong path.

That’s where the practice of receptivity comes in.

Receptivity: More Than Just “Waiting”

Drawing from St. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body, the Popcaks reminded listeners that we are made not to be reactive, but receptive. This is not passivity or indecision. It is, as Lisa described, “an active openness to grace, truth, and connection to God and to others. It’s the ability to stop and breathe and ask, ‘God, what are you trying to show me here?’”

Receptivity means anchoring ourselves in our true identity as beloved sons and daughters of God. When we respond from that place, we’re not just reacting to the pain or pressure we feel in the moment. We’re responding to the way God is calling us to grow, and to how he might want to use this challenge to build his kingdom.

“Receptivity is the soil where true solutions grow, because it opens us up not just to what’s wrong, but what’s possible,” Greg said.

A Simple Process for Cultivating Receptivity

The Popcaks offered four steps for building this habit into daily life:

  1. Pray Before You Act. Even ten seconds of silent surrender (“Lord, show me what I need to see”) can make the difference between panic and peace.
  2. Practice Curiosity Over Judgment. Replace “Why is this happening to me?” with “What might God be inviting me to learn, change, or grow into?”
  3. Slow Your Body Down. “Remember: biology is theology, as far as the Theology of the Body is concerned,” Greg said. “When we slow our body down, our minds and hearts become more receptive to the movement of the Holy Spirit.” A short walk, a few deep breaths, or even sitting still for a minute can quiet your mind and open your heart.
  4. Make a Plan That Brings Out the Best in Everyone. Inspired by your prayerful reflection, make a plan to respond to the challenge “in a way that will really help you be your best, and challenge other people who are involved to be their best, too,” Greg said.

This process doesn’t remove the challenge, but it changes the way you carry it. It shifts the focus from fear-driven action to grace-filled discernment.

Our Problems Don’t Define Us

When we practice receptivity, we stop letting problems define us. Instead, our openness to grace shapes our response, and that can transform our lives. “Even our struggles can lead to a more abundant life,” Dr. Greg said.

It’s not about ignoring problems or avoiding hard choices. It’s about remembering that God is already present in the moment, ready to guide us. Our role is to slow down enough to notice his hand and respond to his prompting.

If you’re feeling lost in your own “desert,” try this: before your next big decision—or your next heated conversation—pause. Pray. Breathe. Ask God what He’s showing you. And watch how the desert begins to bloom.

For more practical tools for facing life’s challenges, check out The Life God Wants You to Have: Discovering the Divine Plan When Human Plans Fail. Or, for one-on-one guidance in applying receptivity to your life, connect with a pastoral counselor at CatholicCounselors.com today.

Reconnecting with God After Loss Shakes Your Faith

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Terry had been married to his wife for fifty-two years when she passed away, leaving him feeling hollow, empty, and spiritually disconnected.

“I just don’t feel the presence of my faith,” he said during an episode of More to Life with Dr. Greg and Lisa Popcak. Although he didn’t blame God for his loss, he struggled deeply with the silence and emptiness. “I feel dead inside,” he told the Popcaks.

Terry’s experience isn’t unique. In fact, the Popcaks say it is normal to feel dead and disconnected from God in the wake of profound loss.

“The natural human response to suffering and grief is just to dig a hole and lie down in it and to wish we would never come back up again,” Dr. Popcak said.

But the good news is that as much as we might feel abandoned by God, in reality, he accompanies us in our pain. Here are five tips for how to reconnect with God in the midst of profound grief.

1. Listen for Whispers of Hope

Intense grief changes the way we view the world, and even the way we interact with others—including God. The pain of loss can make it difficult to “tune in” to God’s presence the way we used to.

Often, though, we can still find God in the occasional “whispers of hope” that break through the fog of pain.

“If there’s any part of you that says there’s something more, and I should want that,” Dr. Popcak said. “If there’s any part of you that thinks there could be an end to the suffering in some good way, then that’s God speaking to you and walking with you through this.”

Look for those glimmers of hope and lean into them, the Popcaks advised.

2. Keep Praying and Practicing

One of the most important things you can do is to continue praying to God and practicing your faith, even when it feels like “eating sawdust,” as Dr. Popcak put it. Continuing your usual spiritual habits will keep you connected to God and the Church, allowing you to experience the grace that you need to get through this time.

Keep talking to God, too. Anytime you are struggling with faith, approach God honestly and authentically, sharing your doubts, frustrations, and heartache openly. God desires your genuine emotions and will meet you there, the Popcaks said.

Dr. Popcak offered Terry an example of what that looks like: “Say, ‘Lord, I’m in so much pain, I can’t feel anything but grief and loss and despair. But the fact that I know that there’s something more, the fact that I somehow got out of bed this morning, the fact that somehow I think that you’re still there, even if I can’t feel you—I thank you for that, and I love you. Please hold me close and guide me step by step through this.”

3. Seek Faithful Support

Even the greatest of the saints surrounded themselves with people who could lift them up, just like Mary went to Elizabeth. 

“God really wants for us to walk with a companion along the way,” Lisa Popcak said. “We need people to help us in our spiritual walk, to get some questions answered, to get extra prayer support when we feel too weak to pray, and we are unsure of ourselves.”

As the Catechism of the Catholic Church says, God chose to save us not as individuals, but as the People of God. In his plan, each of us helps the others along the way—especially in times of darkness, suffering, and doubt.

4. Stay Connected to Your Loved One

“Grief is not the process of letting go,” Dr. Popcak told Terry. “It’s the process of finding ways to stay connected to the person that we’ve lost.”

As Catholics, we believe that death does not sever our relationship with our loved ones, even if it changes that relationship. As Lisa Popcak pointed out, our loved ones are part of the communion of saints, which means that they can intercede with God for us.

“She is alive in Christ,” Lisa told Terry. “Talk to her as you would when she was in your kitchen and walking around the house with you and doing things with you: ‘Honey, this is awful, and I’m not feeling close to God…. I need you to be praying for me. I need you to help me see God in things.’”

As you grieve, find other tangible ways to stay connected to your loved one. What did your loved one mean to you? What did she or he bring into your life? What blessings did they bring you? Name those and find ways to hold onto them.

Shaken Faith Invites Us to Deeper Faith

Experiencing shaken faith in the wake of profound loss is not a sign of spiritual weakness, but an invitation to a deeper, richer relationship with God—one big enough to encompass the “crosses” that come to us in life.

“Having struggles in your faith does not show weakness,” Lisa Popcak said. “It’s part of growth and development in our lives….

“When we struggle—when we’re scared, when we’re angry, when we’re experiencing doubt in any way: in God, in the Church, in who we are in that relationship, in his love for us—it’s something that even the greatest of saints have gone through, and yet come out the other side, because they held on to God as they walked that path of questioning.”

For additional support in navigating grief and reconnecting with your faith, you can always reach out to the team of professional pastoral counselors at CatholicCounselors.com.

Feeling Stuck? Try These Simple Steps to Make a Positive Change in Your Life

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If you’ve ever felt stuck—spiritually, emotionally, or relationally—you’re not alone. Consider these real-life situations described by callers to the More2Life radio show hosted by Dr. Greg and Lisa Popcak:

  • Mary is a mother of four young kids whose husband checks out every evening to watch TV. She feels unseen, overworked, and alone—but he still expects emotional and physical closeness at the end of the day. “I have no idea where to begin,” she said.
  • Desiree is the mom of an 18-year-old who’s angry, withdrawn, and has completely rejected his faith. After years of therapy and support, he refuses to get help. “We really feel like we’ve exhausted our resources,” she admitted.
  • Diane is a caregiver for her adult autistic son. She fights every week just to make sure support staff do their jobs. “I just want to wake up and know that everything is in place,” she said. “But I feel like I have to micromanage everything.”

While each of these situations is very different from the others, the Popcaks offer five basic principles when things absolutely, positively need to change. Here is what they advised callers on two recent episodes of the More2Life show.

1. Pray with Poverty of Spirit

The first step is learning to bring your challenge to God—not with the attitude that you already know what needs to happen, but with the humility of a child.

“When responding to a frustrating situation,” Lisa Popcak said, “we have to cultivate the mindset that we don’t know anything, especially when we think we do. Instead, we need to ask God to teach us as if we were children who were experiencing this situation for the very first time. That’s the poverty of spirit that allows God to lead us to the changes he wants to make in our lives.”

When you feel like you’re not getting traction no matter what you do, try praying in words similar to these: Lord, show me how to see this through your eyes. Teach me what to do next.

God’s grace is abundant, but we only experience it fully when we stop trying to control everything and start asking to be led.

2. Name What You Do Want

Often, we spend more time complaining about what we don’t want than identifying what we’re actually aiming for. But clarity is essential.

Dr. Popcak put it like this: “Making good change begins with having an idea of what you really want to have come out of a situation—not just what you don’t want.”

Mary knew she didn’t want to keep going like this—doing everything herself while her husband tuned out. But what did she want instead? A partnership. Shared parenting. Time to connect emotionally and spiritually. Once she could name those desires, she was ready to have a calm, constructive conversation about what needed to change.

Whether you’re struggling with your marriage, your parenting, or your own inner critic, identifying your desired outcome is a powerful way to begin.

3. Make a Plan—Even a Small One

God can do miracles, but most change happens step-by-step. Once you know what you’re aiming for, make a simple, specific plan to move in that direction.

In Mary’s case, the Popcaks recommended creating rituals for working, playing, talking, and praying together as a couple and family. That might mean planning one family game night a week, praying a decade of the Rosary together before bed, or setting aside 10 minutes to talk after dinner.

Diane, meanwhile, was facing an overwhelming system. But even then, she could take note of small successes.

“Start tracking times when things do work,” Dr. Popcak advised. By identifying times when her son’s care staff successfully followed through, she could work with them to figure out what factors need to be in place to replicate that success elsewhere. “You’re looking for the little changes that make the difference and trying to identify what are the things that happen to make it possible.”

These small patterns could become the basis for new routines and better advocacy.

4. Accept Support

You don’t have to do this alone. In fact, you shouldn’t.

God often answers our prayers through the people he places in our lives: spouses, counselors, friends, pastors. As the Popcaks often remind callers, asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It’s a way to invite grace into your life.

Desiree and her husband had walked through years of pain with their daughter’s addiction, and now their son’s spiral. But they were still trying to hold it all together on their own. “Even if your son won’t get help,” Dr. Popcak said, “you and your husband need to be seeking that help to figure out how to set appropriate boundaries with him.”

The Church reminds us that God chose to save us not as individuals, but as part of a community. What is true of our eternal salvation can also be true of the challenges we face along the way.

5. Wait Actively

When you’re trying to change, it’s easy to feel discouraged when things don’t happen quickly. But grace often works slowly—and invisibly.

Bill Donaghy, a senior lecturer at the Theology of the Body Institute and a frequent guest on More2Life, points to the words of St. John Paul II regarding change: “If an ear is to grow or a flower blossom, there are times which cannot be forced. For the birth of a human being, nine months are required. To write a book or a worthy piece of music, years must often be spent in patient searching. This is also the law of the Spirit. To encounter the mystery takes patience, purification, silence, waiting.”

This kind of waiting isn’t passive. It’s “active receptivity,” Donaghy explained—continuing to water the soil, even if you don’t yet see the fruit.

Whether you’re navigating your child’s crisis, a long-suffering marriage, or a broken system, don’t confuse silence with absence. Keep praying. Keep working. Keep showing up. God is not done yet.

Real Change Is Possible

Real change is possible—but it doesn’t start with a dramatic leap. It starts with a small, prayerful step in a new direction.

If you’re not sure what to do next, begin with these questions:

  • Have I invited God into this situation today?
  • Can I name what I do want—not just what I want to stop?
  • What small plan can I make this week?
  • Who might help me take the next step?
  • Can I be patient while God works behind the scenes?

For more one-on-one help making a positive change in your life, reach out to one of the pastoral counselors at CatholicCounselors.com, or tune in to the More2Life show on your favorite radio station or streaming platform.

From Struggle to Strength: Letting ‘Glimmers of God’ Light the Way

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Ever had one of those mornings when nothing goes right? Your coffee spills, your kids are squabbling before breakfast, and your dog decides the rug looks better with a new chew-hole design. Then, you spend ten minutes looking for your keys and end up being late for your appointment. It’s the sort of start that could foul anyone’s outlook for the rest of the day.

But maybe it doesn’t even take that much to put you in a negative mood. Maybe you have a more “melancholic” personality, or you struggle with depression.

Whatever the cause, having a negative mindset never makes the day go better; in fact, it’s more likely to make things worse.

So, how do you break out of that negative mindset so you can navigate the day’s challenges with peace—and even a touch of joy?

Judi Phillips, a pastoral counselor with the Pastoral Solutions Institute, suggests what she calls “glimmers” as one antidote for life’s daily stresses.

Wait, What Exactly Is a Glimmer?

Let’s revisit the rough morning that we just described. If you look a little closer, you might just spot some “glimmers of goodness”: one of those squabbling kids spontaneously gives you the tightest hug; the dog (the mischievous rug designer), looks up at you with unconditional love. Outside, the sky is an amazing shade of blue, a welcome relief after a week of overcast skies.

These are glimmers—simple moments of goodness that, once you notice them, have the power to shift your mood from gloomy to grateful.

“The idea is that when we’re purposeful and intentional in looking for those glimmers, we begin to have a shift in our mindset,” Phillips says. “We begin to experience life in a more joyful way than if we’re just stuck in the negative, or if we’re stuck in the worries of things.”

Rewiring Your Brain’s Negativity Bias

One reason it can feel easier to focus on the negative is that our brains come hardwired to notice what’s wrong and to highlight bad experiences. That trait helped humans avoid predators and other threats for hundreds of thousands of years. But today, rather than keeping us alive, this negativity bias tends to make us stressed, anxious, and frankly, pretty cranky.

But neuroscience research shows that practicing gratitude literally reprograms our brains. “Anxiety can’t coexist with gratitude,” Phillips says. “When we’re intentionally grateful, our brain shifts its focus and literally starts seeing life through a new lens.”

At the biological level, looking for these “glimmers of goodness” gradually strengthens our brain’s “glimmer-spotting” neural pathways so that, eventually, this more positive outlook becomes a habit.

The beauty of glimmers is that they don’t have to be major wins. “For someone wrestling with clinical depression, just getting out of bed or brushing their teeth can be a genuine glimmer,” Phillips notes. It’s these tiny celebrations that spark a more positive outlook, step by incremental step.

Glimmers of God’s Presence

There is a spiritual dimension at work in this practice, too, Phillips says, in that these glimmers connect us to God.

“It can help us to recognize God’s presence with us, because we know that God is the one who ensures any good thing,” Phillips says. “And so anytime we’re experiencing goodness, that is evidence of God being there with us.”

Connecting with God in these little ways throughout the day can provide us with the grace we need to overcome nearly any challenge. Just consider the various heroes of the Nazi concentration camps: Venerable Angela Maria Autsch, known as the “Angel of Auschwitz,” uplifted fellow prisoners with her humor and kindness. Blessed Franciszek Dachtera maintained such a cheerful demeanor despite being subjected to tortuous medical experiments, other prisoners nicknamed him “Cherubnik.” Similarly, Venerable Emil J. Kapaun ministered to his fellow prisoners of war in North Korea with a sense of humor.

These people were able to rise above really awful circumstances not on their own, but because of their deep relationship with God—and their ability to recognize God present and working even amid great evil. Of course this does not mean that we “should just be happy” in the midst of difficulty, but recognizing God in our situation helps us to navigate the difficulty and take healthy action in a more peaceful and effective way. 

Getting Started Spotting Glimmers

So, these glimmers sound great—but how do you get started, especially if your default mindset tends to be negative?

Phillips recommends making it a daily habit to write down a list of glimmers from the day. Choose a time that is connected with some other habit: eating a meal, brushing your teeth, getting ready for bed.

“Keep a notebook by your bed, or near your toothbrush,” she suggests. “Make it as easy as possible.”

Do this at least once a day—or more often, if you can.

At first, you might struggle to come up with even a handful of glimmers in a day. Or you might find yourself repeatedly thankful for coffee, chocolate, or Netflix (no judgment). But Phillips challenges clients to be specific and varied. If you thanked God for coffee yesterday, try something new today—maybe the quirky barista who made your morning brighter.

You can put a fun twist on this assignment by writing each day’s glimmers on colorful Post-it Notes that you then post on a door, refrigerator, or somewhere else you’ll see them regularly.

A Life-Changing Habit

Phillips has seen this practice bring about dramatic change in the lives of her clients.

“It’s incredible,” she says. “It’s like a night and day difference. Those who begin to practice it and are faithful to it, they just report being more happy in their lives, they report a greater awareness of God being with them and having a sense of his presence with them day in and day out. 

“Also, even if they hit a place where they’re having difficulty…they’re much better able to manage it without falling in a ditch, so to speak, where they go back down in that really dark place. So there’s a huge payoff to practicing it.”

And the best part? The more you practice, the easier it gets. “After a few months, people go from naming just one or two glimmers a day to noticing dozens,” she adds.

So here’s your mission: tonight, before bed—or tomorrow morning while brushing your teeth—take two minutes to jot down at least three glimmers from the past 24 hours. No repeats! It could just change your life.

And if you find yourself needing a little extra help along the way—especially if you’re dealing with persistent negativity, anxiety, or depression—reach out to Judi Phillips and or any of our pastoral counselors at CatholicCounselors.com.

Because, really, life is way too short to miss out on those tiny, wonderful glimmers of joy.