Healthy Marriage Habits Quiz #3 - Self Regulation - Catholic CounselorsCatholic Counselors

Self-Regulation refers to a person’s capacity to stay calm, recognize that they are losing their cool before it’s too late, and regain their composure even under pressure. When stress causes our emotional temperature to rise, we’re unable to problem-solve and we tend to react rather than respond. Psychologists refer to this process as “flooding” and it causes a spouse to be rigid and reactive under pressure (Seigel, 2013; Manes, 2013). But, if you can learn keep your Solution-Friendly Brain turned on, even in conflict, you can stay in control of the discussion even if your partner loses control of him or herself.

How important is developing this skill to your marriage?

Healthy Marriage Habits Quiz #3 – Self Regulation

Healthy Marriage Habits Quiz #3 – Self Regulation

Healthy Marriage Habits Quiz #3 – Self Regulation

We are respectful in our disagreements.

Our arguments result in solutions and concrete plans for improving things.

Even when we're disagreeing with each other, we are careful to avoid saying certain, particularly hurtful things.

If we offend each other in an argument we are quick to apologize and forgive.

If we offend each other in an argument we bounce back and get the conversation back on track quickly.

We look for ways to encourage and support each other when we're having tense discussions.

When we say hurtful things to one another, we rebound quickly and are able to get the conversation back on track.

Generally, when I get angry, I do not lash out or say things that I think may hurt my partner even when I feel they might deserve it.

Generally, when I get angry, I do not shut down, refuse to speak, or walk away from the argument.

When conversations heat up, I am able to facilitate respectful breaks that give us time to cool down and start the conversation in a better place at a later time.