Soccer practice, piano lessons, theater rehearsals, youth group…many parents today feel like their family life happens in the car. We’re constantly running from one activity to the next, hoping that the time we invest in our kids’ activities will pay off.
Instead, 65% of American parents say they are just “getting through the day” rather than actually enjoying it, according to a 2024 Harris Poll.
What’s worse, overbooked kids often experience higher levels of stress, anxiety, and anger, child health experts say.
If all of this sounds familiar, Dr. Greg and Lisa Popcak have a simple suggestion: make more time for family fun.
Regularly playing together as a family reduces stress and increases joy, they explained on a recent episode of the CatholicHŌM podcast. Even better, family play rituals strengthen relationships and fortify a healthy, holy lifestyle.
Fun is the Glue That Holds Families Together
A wealth of research shows that kids who have strong family relationships tend to thrive during childhood and adolescence—and even later on, as young adults. Family fun time plays a big role in developing strong, rich relationships between children and their parents.
“When we have fun with our children, when we make time to play…we become the people that they know they can trust and enjoy,” Lisa said.
The trust that develops between children and parents when they have fun together lasts into adolescence and beyond. Children who regularly play with their parents know who to turn to when life gets hard. On the other hand, over scheduled children may learn to turn elsewhere for connection.
“The people that your children have fun with are the people that your children trust,” Lisa continued. “So if your children are only having fun with other kids their age…who are they going to turn to when they have a broken heart or a difficult question…? Their friends.”
But not all time spent around our kids strengthens our bond with them. Parents often assume that showing up for their children’s activities is the same thing as spending time together. But kids don’t see it that way, the Popcaks said. They cited research that found that kids view their parents’ attendance at sports and rehearsals not as an investment in them, but as an opportunity for parents to socialize with other parents.
Attending games and rehearsals matters, but it’s not the same as shared, face-to-face fun, Dr. Greg explained: “They’re not interacting with us, and we’re not communicating to them how Christians enjoy each other and enjoy life.”
The temptation to over schedule comes from good intentions. We want to give our kids opportunities, build their skills, and support their passions. But when the family calendar is too packed, something vital is lost. Spontaneous fun disappears; relationships become transactional (“Did you finish your homework? What time is practice?”), and stress replaces joy.
Holy People Have More Fun!
Family play has another important function: it’s one of the ways we disciple kids into a healthy, holy Catholic vision of life.
When families have fun together, they teach their kids that Christianity isn’t just something for church, but for all areas of life. More than that, they teach kids that Christian values can actually enhance fun and recreation.
“The fact is, if we aren’t teaching our kids how to enjoy life and how to enjoy each other in healthy ways, the world is more than happy to suggest a million ways for our kids to enjoy themselves in sinful and destructive ways,” he said.
Reclaiming Time to Play
So how can families reclaim time for play in a world that rewards busyness?
First, start by making family fun time a priority—and that means being intentional about scheduling time for it.
“Play rituals don’t just happen on their own,” Dr. Greg emphasized. “We need to treat family time in general, and play rituals in particular, as things that are on the schedule that we plan other stuff around.”
You can set aside routine times for family play, like after dinner and before prayers, or you can schedule family fun time as you meet to plan out your week.
Prioritizing family play rituals doesn’t mean pulling your children out of sports, theater, or youth group activities, the Popcaks emphasized. But it may mean cutting down on the time they spend on those activities so that there is time available for your family to connect.
Second, don’t be afraid to start small. Family fun time doesn’t need to involve a major, Monopoly-level time commitment. You might begin with as little as 15 minutes, Lisa said: “Just begin by asking, can we get 15 minutes today? What would we like to do with that time?”
If even that feels challenging, look for ways to spark little moments of joy during the day. Lisa described how her mother asked her father to come home from work with a joke for the family every day.
“He would run around the office toward the end of the day saying, ‘I need a joke. My wife won’t let me in the door without a joke,’” Lisa said. “And we can do that with our kids: bring a joke to the table for dinner time and start everybody laughing. Just having a moment of joy together is better than not having joy together.”
Just Do It!
There isn’t a one-size-fits-all model for how to have fun together as a family, the Popcaks emphasized. Talk about it together and experiment to find a rhythm of play and fun that works for your particular family. Be prepared for family play time to evolve as your kids get older, too: the ten minutes you spend tickling and roughhousing on the living room floor might become ten minutes of throwing a football around in the yard.
Above all, don’t be afraid to dive in, Lisa said.
“So often, we over schedule ourselves because we’re afraid to just have fun with our family. What if they don’t see me as an authority figure? What if they think I’m silly? What if it messes up the house? What if I can never get them settled down to go to bed? We have a million fears about just enjoying our children and our family time together in a fun way.
“I promise you, if you start making fun part of your family rituals, they will look at you with more respect, more love. They will trust you more. The emotional temperature in the house will come down over time because you’re not always being punitive. Play has a million wonderful fruits (that come) with it.”
When families reclaim time to laugh, play, and enjoy each other, they rediscover the joy of being a domestic church.
To learn more about weaving play and other rituals into daily life, explore the CatholicHŌM app, where you’ll find community support, downloadable resources for family fun, and videos and podcasts addressing common challenges that arise around family time. Plus, you can listen to CatholicHŌM podcast Episode 88: “The Family That Plays Together Prays Together.”