New Major Study of 160,000 Children Finds Spanking Causes Similar Harm As Abuse.

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Children need solid discipline, consistent expectations, and solid structure, but there are many better ways to accomplish these ends than corporal punishment.  A new study examining 50 years of data derived from observations of 16,000 kids finds that spanking (defined as striking a child with an open hand) and abuse are not  substantively different phenomena but rather cause similar problems with child behavior and well-being.  According to the study…

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The more children are spanked, the more likely they are to defy their parents and to experience increased anti-social behavior, aggression, mental health problems and cognitive difficulties, according to a new meta-analysis of 50 years of research on spanking by experts at the University of Texas at Austin and the University of Michigan.

The study, published in this month’s Journal of Family Psychology, looks at five decades of research involving over 160,000 children. The researchers say it is the most complete analysis to date of the outcomes associated with spanking, and more specific to the effects of spanking alone than previous papers, which included other types of physical punishment in their analyses.

“Our analysis focuses on what most Americans would recognize as spanking and not on potentially abusive behaviors,” says Elizabeth Gershoff, an associate professor of human development and family sciences at The University of Texas at Austin. “We found that spanking was associated with unintended detrimental outcomes and was not associated with more immediate or long-term compliance, which are parents’ intended outcomes when they discipline their children.”

Gershoff and co-author Andrew Grogan-Kaylor, an associate professor at the University of Michigan School of Social Work, found that spanking (defined as an open-handed hit on the behind or extremities) was significantly linked with 13 of the 17 outcomes they examined, all in the direction of detrimental outcomes.

“The upshot of the study is that spanking increases the likelihood of a wide variety of undesired outcomes for children. Spanking thus does the opposite of what parents usually want it to do,” Grogan-Kaylor says.

Gershoff and Grogan-Kaylor tested for some long-term effects among adults who were spanked as children. The more they were spanked, the more likely they were to exhibit anti-social behavior and to experience mental health problems. They were also more likely to support physical punishment for their own children, which highlights one of the key ways that attitudes toward physical punishment are passed from generation to generation.

The researchers looked at a wide range of studies and noted that spanking was associated with negative outcomes consistently and across all types of studies, including those using the strongest methodologies such as longitudinal or experimental designs. As many as 80 percent of parents around the world spank their children, according to a 2014 UNICEF report. Gershoff notes that this persistence of spanking is in spite of the fact that there is no clear evidence of positive effects from spanking and ample evidence that it poses a risk of harm to children’s behavior and development.

Both spanking and physical abuse were associated with the same detrimental child outcomes in the same direction and nearly the same strength.

“We as a society think of spanking and physical abuse as distinct behaviors,” she says. “Yet our research shows that spanking is linked with the same negative child outcomes as abuse, just to a slightly lesser degree.”   READ THE ARTICLE IN FULL.

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As I said at the top of this post, children do need consistent discipline, clear rules and expectations, appropriate consequences and structure to help guide their behavior but there are about a million better ways to accomplish these tasks than resorting to spanking–even “just with your hand”.  Parenting with Grace:  The Catholic Parents’ Guide to Raising (almost) Perfect Kids lays out a discipline system that allows parents to have even higher standards for their kids than do parents who resort to corporal punishment all while using methods that respect your dignity and the dignity of your child.

Does this research mean you’re a horrible person, a bad Catholic, or a terrible parent if you spank?  No.  But it does mean that you could do a lot better.  Catholic social justice teaches that those in authority have a responsibility to use the least offensive means available to effect the greatest change. Parenting is tough enough without feeling obliged to resort to means that make your work even more difficult.  Let me repeat that.  It isn’t just that spanking isn’t good for kids and parents, it’s that spanking makes the work of parenting harder.  Better information and support can help you leave the power-struggles and heavy handed approaches to discipline behind and, instead, use methods that help you create a more peaceful, orderly family life based on love, joy and mutual respect.  Don’t believe me?  Give it a try.  Need support?  Let us help.  You can have terrifically behaved kids using methods that make your life easier and your home life more enjoyable.  Show the world there’s a better way by being the family that treats each other with uncommon respect, and gets there using uncommonly respectful–and infinitely more effective–approaches to parenting.

Pope Francis and Spanking: 4 Things to Consider

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Image via Shutterstock. Used with permission

Image via Shutterstock. Used with permission

People know that, as a Catholic Parenting author and family therapist, I encourage parents to eschew corporal punishment in favor of more effective methods discipline that are more respectful of the dignity of the parent and the child.   As a result, I’ve been getting emails all week from people about Pope Francis’ recent comments which are being touted in the press as a ringing endorsement of spanking.  Before we all get our wimples in a knot, here are a few things to keep in mind.

1.  What did Pope Francis really say?

As usual, when the press reports that Pope Francis said something, we have to look at the context of what he actually said. With Pope Francis, context is everything.  He tends to not make global pronouncement like St John Paul the Great or Pope Benedict XVI.  He is very much a man who is in the here and now, addressing things in a very off the cuff manner.  He expects his audience make the effort to “get” the context of his comments.  Personally,  I think that’s optimistic, but that’s his style and you can’t understand what he means unless you take his style into account.

If you read the actual address–and I encourage you to do so rather than taking the press’ word for it as it’s short enough–the entire talk is about the importance of present, merciful, loving fathers, who aren’t afraid to involve themselves intimately in their wife and children’s lives, lead their families, and discipline their children with love and firmness in a manner that is respectful of their dignity as persons.  Here are the paragraphs leading up to the bit that’s getting all the press.

The first need, then, is precisely this: that a father be present in the family. That he be close to his wife, to share everything, joy and sorrow, hope and hardship. And that he be close to his children as they grow: when they play and when they strive, when they are carefree and when they are distressed, when they are talkative and when they are silent, when they are daring and when they are afraid, when they take a wrong step and when they find their path again; a father who is always present. To say “present” is not to say “controlling”! Fathers who are too controlling cancel out their children, they don’t let them develop.

The Gospel speaks to us about the exemplarity of the Father who is in Heaven — who alone, Jesus says, can be truly called the “good Father” (cf. Mk 10:18). Everyone knows that extraordinary parable of the “prodigal son”, or better yet of the “merciful father”, which we find in the Gospel of Luke in chapter 15 (cf. 15:11-32). What dignity and what tenderness there is in the expectation of that father, who stands at the door of the house waiting for his son to return! Fathers must be patient. Often there is nothing else to do but wait; pray and wait with patience, gentleness, magnanimity and mercy.

A good father knows how to wait and knows how to forgive from the depths of his heart. Certainly, he also knows how to correct with firmness: he is not a weak father, submissive and sentimental. The father who knows how to correct without humiliating is the one who knows how to protect without sparing himself. 

And then he gives his example.  Personally, I don’t think it’s a great example of what he led up to say, but it’s an example and because I’m one of those people who will make the effort to get the context of his remarks, I take his meaning.  After all, as a public speaker, I too, have offered examples that fell flat or detracted from my actual point.  That said, I don’t think it is too much of a stretch to say that Pope Francis wasn’t really giving a speech about the awesome-y awesomeness of smacking your kids as long as you don’t leave visible marks–that’s COMPLETELY out of character for Pope Francis’ general positions on family life and completely inconsistent with both science and Catholic tradition on this matter (more on this below).  Rather, it is clear from the context of his remarks that he was speaking of the importance of dads not being afraid to step up and be dads; involved, loving, generous, engaged leaders of their families and formators of their children’s character and moral life.

2.  How Was He Speaking?

The second thing to keep in mind is how he was speaking–that is, in what capacity.  When he gave the example of the dad who sometimes has to “strike a child lightly” was he speaking as a theologian?  Well, it would not seem so, because he didn’t cite any scriptures, quotes from Vatican documents, or writings of the saints.  A theologian always builds from tradition.  Pope Francis didn’t do that.  He simply offered an example that he thought people could relate to illustrating the point he was trying to make in the three entire paragraphs before the example–three paragraphs, I might add, no one is talking about because his unfortunate example took center stage.  It happens, but when an example falls flat, which counts more?  The example?  Or the 3 paragraphs before it that carefully lays out everything you really meant?  Call me crazy, but I would go with what’s behind door #2, that is, the latter of the two options.

Well, if he wasn’t speaking as a theologian,  was he speaking as a social scientist?  Again, the answer appears to be “no.”  A social scientist also speaks from precedence–he cites research, he uses data. Pope Francis did none of  this.  So, clearly, he wasn’t intending to put forth some final, Catholic judgment on the raging debate in parenting circles and family psychology on the appropriateness and efficacy of corporal punishment.

So if, in giving this example, he was not speaking as a theologian or a social scientist, then what was he speaking as?  I would suggest that he was speaking as he often does, as a pastor, who was simply trying to illustrate his larger, main point in a way that his audience might relate to.  Again, I personally, think his example failed miserably, but it is a miscalculation that speakers often make.  The paragraphs before the example are really quite beautiful and lay out a powerful vision of fatherhood that does, incidentally, track with both Catholic theological tradition and social science.

3.  Discipline is a Matter of Prudential Judgment.

The third thing to keep in mind is that, for Catholics, parenting and discipline is a matter of prudential judgment.  Pope Francis wouldn’t tell people how to raise their kids because the Church doesn’t do that. it violates subsidiarity.   It’s up to parenting experts to state our case for the positions we take and for parents to listen, pray, and decide what makes the most sense to them.  I, and the overwhelming majority of my colleagues in family psychology, make the case that there are much more effective and dignified ways than corporal punishment to correct a child; methods that are also completely consistent with Pope Francis’ message of engaged, effective fatherhood.  That said, the vast majority of parents ignore that advice and still spank in spite of it.  Pope Francis knows this, and so he used an example of someone he felt spanked more mercifully than many other parents to underscore his point and give his message the broadest possible appeal.  Again, I think his example failed to serve his intentions, but that doesn’t change the point of his message; namely, dads should discipline, but only by using means that keep the dignity of the child in mind.  That point is quite clear and literally obvious from everything he says around the example he gave.

4.  What is the Larger Context of This Discussion?

Finally, we need to keep the larger context of this debate in mind.  Catholic theologians always respect the scientific findings that impact a particular subject when attempting to speak to that subject. The Vatican regularly asks scientists of every discipline to consult on various issues it has an interest in.  If Pope Francis were going to make anything more than a colloquial, folksy, comment on corporal punishment, he would need to consult both tradition and social science, both of which weigh very heavily against corporal punishment as an effective, respectful method of discipline.  For instance, here is a summary of the American Psychological Association’s finding on the research about corporal punishment.

Additionally, Pope Francis would need to consult the reflections of those holy men and women who have pronounced on this topic before him.  A while ago I posted an article on what the saints had to say about corporal punishment.  Here are some quotes pulled from that post.

~If thou shouldst see (your son) transgressing this law, punish him, now with a stern look, now with incisive, now with reproachful, words; at other times win him with gentleness and promises.   Have not recourse to blows and accustom him not to be trained by the rod; for if he feel it…, he will learn to despise it. And when he has learnt to despise it, he has reduced thy system to nought.  (St. John Chrysostum)

~The birch is used only out of bad temper and weakness for the birch is a servile punishment which degrades the soul even when it corrects, if it indeed corrects, for its usual effect is to burden (St Jean Baptiste de la Salle, c.f., On the Conduct of Christian Schools)

~Force, indeed, punishes guilt but does not heal the guilty….In the case of some boys, a reproachful look is more effective than a slap in the face would be. Praise of work well done and blame in the case of carelessness are already a great reward or punishment.  A reproachful or severe look often serves as an excellent means of moral restraint over the young. By it the guilty person is moved to consider his own fault, to feel ashamed, and finally to repent and turn over a new leaf.  Never, except in very extreme cases, expose the culprit publicly to shame. Except in very rare cases, corrections and punishments should be given privately and in the absence of companions; and the greatest prudence and patience should be used to bring the pupil to see his fault, with the aid of reason and religion.  To strike a child in any way…must be absolutely avoided…[these punishments] greatly irritate the child and degrade the [parent].  (St. John Bosco)

CONCLUSION

So, yes.  Pope Francis did, indeed, offer an example of parenting that, taken out of the larger context, appears to suggest that corporal punishment is just grand.  Putting it in context, however, it becomes quite clear that his example was just that, an attempt to illustrate a larger point, that unfortunately because of the press’ penchant for sound bites and the volatility of the debate among parents on this topic ended up obliterating the exact point about merciful, loving, engaged fatherhood he was trying to make.

For a thorough perspective on Catholic parenting that takes into account both social science and the fullness of our Catholic tradition, I invite you to pick up a copy of Parenting With Grace:  The Catholic Parents’ Guide to Raising (almost) Perfect Kids and Then Comes Baby:  The Catholic Guide to Surviving and Thriving in the First Three Years of Parenthood.

Spanking Decreases Gray Matter in Children’s Brains

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CNN reports one more shocking reason corporal punishment isn’t the answer.shutterstock_121813207

…Researchers say physical punishment actually alters the brain — not only in an “I’m traumatized” kind of way but also in an “I literally have less gray matter in my brain” kind of way.

“Exposing children to HCP (harsh corporal punishment) may have detrimental effects on trajectories of brain development,” one 2009 study concluded. (Click for link to the study abstract).

Harsh corporal punishment in the study was defined as at least one spanking a month for more than three years, frequently done with objects such as a belt or paddle. Researchers found children who were regularly spanked had less gray matter in certain areas of the prefrontal cortex that have been linked to depression, addiction and other mental health disorders, the study authors say.

The researchers also found “significant correlations” between the amount of gray matter in these brain regions and the children’s performance on an IQ test. (READ MORE)

The Theology of the Body reminds us that God’s plan for relationships is encoded in the design of our bodies.  The more we understand how God designed the human body to work, the more we see that gentle discipline (e.g, teaching skills, redirection, teaching the positive opposite, logical consequences, rapport building/discipling) is most consistent with God’s plan for child-rearing.  For more information on how the Theology of the Body can help you raise healthy, happy, holy kids and get more joy out of parenting, check out Parenting with Grace:  The Catholic Parents’ Guide to Raising (almost) Perfect Kids.

Catholic Bishops Weigh in on Corporal Punishment

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Is it possible to articulate a consistent, coherent Catholic position on the use or corporal punishment?  As a family therapist and Catholic parenting author.  It’s a question I spend a lot of time prayerfully considering.  Many good parents on both sides of the debate have very strong feelings on the subject and it can be confusing for parents to have to sort out the pros and cons on this issue.  My own thoughts on the subject have been widely circulated.

In light of this, I was honored to discover that my work on the subject was recently (this past June) cited in the South African Bishops’ Conference–Catholic Parliamentary Liaison Office (SABC-CPLO) report to South African Parliament on  The Use of Corporal Discipline in the Home.

The report articulates the Catholic position on recent controversial legislation in South Africa protecting the “physical integrity” of children and prohibiting the use of corporal punishment.   It clarifies the difference between the Catholic view of child discipline in contrast with many of Protestant sects that are protesting the Children’s’ Amendment Bill.   The SABC-CPLO articulates a position that promotes positive discipline in lieu of corporal punishment.  Specifically, the document is notable for its assertion that, “There is nothing in the Catechism of the Catholic Church which supports the right of parents to use corporal punishment.”

While I am, personally, very suspicious of any government intrusion into family life as a potential trampling of subsidiarity, I applaud the SABC’s efforts to promote the Catholic view of the dignity of the child and children’s rights to be treated as persons.  As Pope John Paul II wrote in his Letter to Children, “children suffer many forms of violence from grown‐ups….How can we not care, when we see the suffering of so many children, especially when this suffering is in some way caused by grown‐ups.”

I realize that spanking is a controversial issue, but the South African Bishop’s document makes for excellent reading for any Catholic parent who has an interest in the corporal punishment debate, if for no other reason than when bishops weigh in on such issues it provides additional guidance for Catholic laity on what it means to think with the mind of the Church.

I don’t wish to overstate things.  It is true that, at this writing, corporal punishment remains a matter of prudential judgment for Catholics, but as the Church continues to reflect on this issue, she appears to be moving consistently–and internationally–toward opposing it.   For instance, last year, Archbishop Gregory Aymond of New Orleans was on the receiving end of a great deal of parental anger when he spoke publicly and forcefully against the use of corporal punishment.  At that time, he said, “I do not believe the teachings of the Catholic Church as we interpret them in 2011 condone corporal punishment. It’s hard for me to imagine in any way, shape or form, Jesus using a paddle.”

All of this, of course,  is completely consistent with the writings of Catholic educators such as St John Bosco who, all the way back in the mid 1800’s, wrote, “ To strike a child in any way…and other similar punishments must be absolutely avoided.”

At any rate, it was an honor to have my work cited by the South African Bishops’ Conference in their efforts to promote the Catholic vision of family life.  I hope you’ll take some time to reflect on the document and allow it to speak to your heart about your parenting choices.   If you’d like to learn more about effective, Catholic approaches to child rearing and positive discipline,  check out Parenting with Grace: A Catholic Parents’ Guide to Raising (almost) Perfect Kids.

And for those of you who are interested, here is part of an interview Archbishop Aymond did on local news defending his comments in opposition to corporal punishment  [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RstFs-nHXI[/youtube]