Your Faith and Debt

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By: Judy Keane

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The statistics are stunning.    According to a recent  Washington Post  article, the majority of Americans with 401(k)-type savings accounts are accumulating debt faster than they are setting aside money for retirement.     While the amount varies, it has also been found that the average credit card debt per U.S. household is around 3,364 (Source: Federal Reserve) along with an average mortgage debt of $149,925 per household and average student loan debts of more than $26,000.  In total, American consumers owe more than 856.9 billion in credit card debt and more than 11 trillion in debt overall.

Meanwhile, our culture and the media continue to urge us to spend beyond our means to buy even more!  As a result, we are steeped in a buy now, pay later mentality, with little thought given to financial consequences down the road.   It seems everywhere we turn; we are bombarded with ads that attack our self-esteem or body-image if we don’t purchase the latest and greatest anti-aging creams, automobiles, or outfits.   “Retail therapy” has become a popular term of our time in which we seek to spend ourselves happy.   Beyond this, there is the ongoing barrage of credit card solicitations and endless parade on online shopping sites where one can easily purchase everything from major appliances to trips abroad without even leaving our homes.

A recent survey among our youth (ages 18-34) showed that 60% said they were jealous of celebrities and other public figures whose lifestyles are glamorized by television shows such as  Rich Kids of Beverly Hills,  Real Housewives  and  Keeping Up with the Kardashians.  Of course, I don’t’ need to go into detail about our national debt which now tops more than 17 trillion dollars and continues to grow by nearly 2.5 billion a day!

Is it any wonder that so many of us find ourselves in debt?   Of course, it can’t all be blamed on external pressures.   We must look a hard look at ourselves, our spending habits, our lack of control, our priorities, and our ability to identify needs verses wants.   We know that debt leads to depression, low self-esteem, failed marriages, health problems, hopelessness, and despair.

Yet, God wants us to be debt free!   In fact, he calls us to be debt free! He wishes us to be free from the shackles of debt and the psychological ramifications it has on our minds and spirits.   Not only does he want us debt free, he in fact, wants us to prosper, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).     God also discourages us from getting into debt in the first place and warns of its dangers in Proverbs 22:7, “The rich rule over the poor and the borrower is servant to the lender.”   This clearly states, we are in a form of bondage to our lenders until our debt is paid in full.

So what can we do in our own lives to get our debt under control or make sure we don’t go into debt again? The bible offers some solid advice to guide and direct us.   First the bible emphasizes we develop a realistic budget to make sure we can afford our purchases.   As we all know, we can easily get in over our heads financially by making even one purchase that is more than what we can afford.   The Gospel of Luke emphasizes this — “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?  For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you,  saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish” (Luke 14:28-30).   In prayer then, ask God if what you want is really something you actually need.   After all, God has promised to meet our needs, but not necessarily our wants, “So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom  and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:31-33).   In my own life, I’ve prayed over significant purchases and have on occasion waited 24 hours to think about them.  More often than not, I’ve discovered I didn’t really “have to have” what I thought I wanted and was later glad I didn’t make the purchase after all.

Ultimately, we must gain control over ourselves when it comes to our spending habits and also teach our children to do the same.  Enlisting God’s help along with creating a budget to keep us from the temptations of overspending can go a long way in keeping out of financial hot water. Sometime a health crisis, emergency home repairs, or natural disasters cause us to go into debt through no fault of our own.     Yet, in this case, it is the same.   We must do everything we can to pay down our debt and never lose hope that God will continue to provide for us as we work our way out of our debt crisis.     We can trust that God will show us the way and offer ways to move beyond it, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you” (Psalms 32:8).   Most of all, we must never lose hope nor give into despair in the face of that which seems insurmountable, recognizing that the circumstances of today do not define our tomorrow’s and that God has plans for us that are so much greater.

In a culture where material possessions and status are more important than character, we must strive to keep God in the center of our hearts amid all the consumerism and temptations to over spend.   To this end, Pope Francis recently offered advice saying, “The world tells us to seek success, power and money.   God tells us to seek humility, service and love.”  We know that it took time to get into debt and it will take time to get out of it.   So if you find yourself in debt, be patient!   Have faith and don’t despair!   God is in the midst of your debt crisis and working with you as you work toward your financial freedom!

Credit to  Judy Keane of CatholicExchange.

Eternal Revolution, Not "Old Time Religion"

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By: Benjamin Mann

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The 19th  century philosopher Soren Kierkegaard  was preoccupied with the problem of “becoming a Christian in Christendom”: that is, the problem of following Jesus in a society where Christianity was simply the done thing, expected (at least nominally) of any respectable person. Where, in such a world, was the risk and sacrifice of living alongside the Crucified Messiah? How could authentic faith exist in a society determined to render it safe and domesticated?

In the 20th  century, G.K. Chesterton diagnosed a new, but related problem: that of being a Christian in a post-Christian culture, convinced it has progressed beyond Jesus and the Church. The world, in Chesterton’s words, thinks the faith has “been tried and found wanting,” when it has only “been found difficult and left untried.”

This dilemma develops logically from Kierkegaard’s problem: where the Gospel was once identified with the status quo and taken for granted, it is now identified with the past and dismissed. In response, Chesterton was at pains to show that Christian orthodoxy is not a historical relic, but an “eternal revolution” — a source of constant renewal and endless life. Our faith proposes the convergence of time and eternity; a Christian looks to what is past because it may provide an image of what is timeless.

We now live, to a degree, with both problems: the Kierkegaardian problem of a stagnant Christendom, and the Chestertonian dilemma of an “eternal revolution” appearing outdated in the eyes of the world.

Kierkegaard’s diagnosis still applies, and will apply insofar as Western culture remains residually Christian. As long as faith in Jesus appears conventional and safe, we will have the Kierkegaardian quandary of “becoming a Christian in Christendom.”

But Chesterton’s warning accords increasingly with the new cultural reality in which the Gospel is seen as obsolete. This problem emerges in a world whose central myth is that of evolutionary progress: nothing is fixed for all time; the new is always more advanced than the old, and Christianity is supposedly “old.”

Combined, the two realities pose a unique challenge. It is the challenge of a world where belief in Jesus no longer seems revolutionary, but can be regarded — approvingly or dismissively — as the symbol of a past status quo. Some want that past back; others want it gone; but all seem to agree in seeing it as “past.”

This is a surprising commonality between today’s cultural “conservatives” and “progressives.” Though they draw different conclusions from the fact, both groups tend to see Christianity as “That Old Time Religion”: not a faith pointing toward eternity, but a symbol — for good or ill — of history.

Some cultural combatants want to restore the bourgeoisie form of “Christendom” that Kierkegaard attacked. They prefer the world that conflated faith with social convention, a “churchgoing world” of cultural cohesion.  “It wasn’t perfect,”  they may acknowledge,“but it was better than the mess we have today!”

For others, however, Christian orthodoxy appears not so much false as outmoded.“Jesus was a great teacher, and we can still learn from him,”  they may say,  “but the world has moved on. Spirituality evolves, as humanity does; we know now that no set of beliefs can be definitive for all times and places.”

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Both of these attitudes toward Christianity — nostalgic conservatism and dismissive progressivism — are shallow. Neither reflects an understanding of what the Messiah came to accomplish:  “I came to cast fire upon the earth; and would that it were already kindled!”  (Lk. 12:49)

Yet these misapprehensions correspond to the main cultural currents of our time: a move away from faith, in the name of “progress”; and an opposite insistence on holding to religion as part of a fight to preserve the past. These trends, both based on a misunderstanding of Christian orthodoxy, line up fairly well with our cultural-political Left and Right.

As a believer in Christ, naturally, I have more sympathy with one of those currents than the other: in a pinch, given only two choices — to see our faith lukewarmly respected in the name of “tradition,” or to see it washed away under the banner of “progress” — I will choose the first without much hesitation.

What disturbs me is that these should apparently be the only two choices. What is frustratingly lacking, at least on any substantial cultural scale, is a sense of how traditional Christian orthodoxy could be a force for something other than the conservation of a status quo or the restoration of some past reality.

Kierkegaard and Chesterton were quite different thinkers: an idiosyncratic Protestant and an outspoken Catholic, a solitary and a  bon vivant.  But both of them, in different ways, grasped this central problem: the dilemma of Christianity being viewed as “Old Time Religion” rather than the Divine Revolution.

On the one hand, the world does not seem to want the revolution Christ has brought. The world wants change and progress on its own terms: quantitative and visible, linear and comprehensible, popular and utilitarian. Thus, it will discredit the Kingdom of God by any means necessary — including the modern tactic of casting Jesus and the Church as antiquated. Chesterton’s insight, in this regard, is quite correct.

Yet on the other hand, one may wonder whether many Christians actually want the “eternal revolution” that Jesus brings: the revolution that reveals the Kingdom of God and accomplishes the spiritual remaking of man, not only at the end of time but here and now.

Was Kierkegaard not correct to diagnose a cancer of mediocrity among us? Can we read the Acts of the Apostles and not feel pricked in our consciences? Could our religion even become, in the worst case, a way of keeping God at arm’s length, to remain at a safe distance from “a consuming fire” (Heb. 12:29)?

These are questions for our individual and collective consciences. We are accountable to the One who has said:  “Behold, I make all things new”  (Rev. 21:5).

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It is wrong to identify Christian faith as “revolutionary” in a worldly sense, as if it were only a means for attaining certain temporal goals. Yet it is equally wrong to act as though our faith were primarily a counter-revolutionary or conservative force.

Christianity is principally a revolution from within: a renewal and reshaping of man’s inner life — and consequently, his entire way of living — through communion with the Incarnate God. It is the spiritual melting-down and re-forging of humanity, in the furnace of Christ’s Paschal Mystery.

And this inner revolution, when it occurs, cannot remain purely private. It is to become manifest: through self-sacrificing love, all-encompassing solidarity, and a re-sacralized relationship to the whole creation.

If our faith is not transformative, then it is nothing: it would be only an assemblage of precepts and observances, combined with a set of obscure, inaccessibly abstract doctrines.

Unfortunately, that is exactly how Christianity appears to many outsiders — and perhaps even some frustrated adherents! — in our time. And one cannot place all of the blame for that perception upon them. If our lives show no sign of Christ’s transforming power, then we are witnesses against the truth rather than for it.

In his challenge to the Church, Kierkegaard was fundamentally correct: a complacent, self-satisfied “Christendom” may be in a worse spiritual state than an unevangelized society. If we claim that God’s Messianic Kingdom is present among us, the world expects to see something more than just another religious institution going through the motions from week to week. The sins of believers are a scandal to the outside world; but our respectable mediocrity is at least as scandalous, if not moreso.

It is likewise scandalous, that Christians should regarded in the public square as if they were primarily the partisans of convention and the “Old Time Religion.” There are things in our civilizational heritage that should be conserved; but our faith is not a defensive, rear-guard action against modernity. Chesterton,  who resented being called a “conservative,”  was right in this regard: Christians should care about the “permanent things” — virtue, beauty, truth — not because they are old, but because they are always new.

Monasticism, the vocation I am pursuing, is a good example of this. Tradition regulates the monk’s life: he prays the services as they have been prayed for centuries; he adheres to customs dating back a millennium or more. Yet the overarching goal is an ongoing inner renewal. Tradition is not an immersion in the past, but the gateway to that absolute Reality which is eternal and timeless — the reality of God.

Tradition is needed, both in the Church and in society at large; but it is not an end in itself. Paradoxically, we need tradition for the sake of constant renewal. Tradition is meant to wake us up, to change us, to unite us with the Lord who “makes all things new.” It is a  leaven  and not simply a preservative.

Christ is the reconciler of all things that should be harmonious, yet have fallen into discordance. In him, and his holy Church, man’s instincts toward both tradition and revolution — instincts in constant tension with each other, in the ordinary human world — are reconciled to one another, and both are fulfilled. Stability and creativity become compatible and interdependent.

A Christian revolution — a social and cultural manifestation of the Eternal Kingdom — cannot take place without the historic Christian tradition. But that tradition, reciprocally, cannot be practiced in truth without at least the implicit desire for such a revolution: the revolution of the Beatitudes and the Sermon on the Mount, the revolution that frees us definitively from the prison of ourselves and our sins.

The world does not want such a revolution; and that is to be expected. But if the Church does not want God’s revolution, then we have a much more serious problem on our hands — a crisis that can only be overcome through bold acts of faith and love.

Credit to  Benjamin Mann of CatholicExchange.

Approaching Alcohol and the Addict

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By: Jeannie Ewing

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Summer heat and sun conjure images of laidback, outdoor fun enveloped in a carefree, capricious atmosphere, and it is not uncommon to envision or expect alcohol to be a central (or at the very least, peripheral) aspect of our annual summer fun.

While alcohol in and of itself is not evil, of course, it is prudent for us to examine our use of it.   I say this, because alcohol (and now marijuana in some states) is considered alegal  substance in our American culture; therefore, most of us believe this means it is also a  safe  substance.   The truth is both alcohol and marijuana are classified as drugs, so they  must  be approached with caution and propriety.

Moderation may be a goal for some of us as we enjoy our gin and tonics or an ice-cold beer at a cookout, but for others of us, moderation is an abstract and futile goal, especially those of us who have a predisposition to alcoholism or addictions in general.   We can know this by being familiar with the disease itself: its neurological and biological origins and manifestations, the psychological aspect of compulsion, and also by acknowledging the pattern of substance abuse in our families of origin.   Finally, we need to be very self-aware and honest with ourselves if we have a tendency toward  anysort of addiction, be it an illicit or legal substance or a compulsive behavior.

I have often heard my non-Catholic friends remark that their only experience with Catholicism is the hypocrisy that one can imbibe excessively on a Friday evening with the intention of confessing the sin of drunkenness on Saturday so that s/he can still receive Communion on Sunday morning with the majority of the congregation.   My heart is instantly immersed in a deep sorrow that  this is the perception we offer to our modern culture.  

While it’s true that, as Catholics, most of us have justified our own — or someone else’s — excessive indulgence in food or drink at least occasionally, it’s only perpetuating the fallacy that we can engage in sinful behavior as long as we ease our guilty consciences with the misuse of the Sacrament of Reconciliation.   Confession must be approached with a sincere and authentic spirit of contrition and  with the intent to change.   That is what the rest of the world does not witness when we do not exemplify one who is actively engaged in ongoing, personal transformation.

Approaching substance abuse with an open and humble heart extends beyond our personal understanding to how we respond to other people who suffer from various addictions.   As I was browsing my Facebook feed recently, I noticed a video posted by a friend; curious, I began to watch it, and I quickly realized it was an exploitation of a young woman who clearly suffered from substance abuse.   Most of the comments displayed were made in jest or a mockery of her obvious addiction.

That’s the temptation most of us face, isn’t it?   We may witness the embarrassment of someone whose speech is slurred from drunkenness or, even worse, a person who has developed substance-induced psychosis due to prolonged abuse of drugs and alcohol.   We find that laughter and jokes are the cover, the façade, we carry in an attempt to conceal our discomfort or perhaps even to justify our own sins.   We tell ourselves that we are nothing like these people who are sloppy in speech and social graces, unkempt in appearance and humiliated as a direct consequence of a lifestyle choice; we put ourselves at least one tier above them, rationalizing that we, at least, have a good grip on our lives and would never lose control like that.

All of my life I have been surrounded by drugs and alcohol.   That is not to say I grew up in a sketchy neighborhood that was unsafe and riddled with overt addiction.   On the contrary, my childhood was filled with warmth, love, and security.   I grew up in a middle class family with both parents who loved my brother and me and each other.

Even so, somehow I have known, loved, and lost several people in my life to drugs and alcohol.   From family members to close friends, I have witnessed the demise and decay of good people’s bodies, hearts and souls because of substance abuse.   As a child, this (rightfully) frightened me and served as a powerful witness that I carried with me throughout high school and college.   I vowed silently and secretly to never, ever touch drugs and to be extremely cautious with alcohol.

But it wasn’t until more recently that I recognized the  pain  behind the addict and alcoholic.   The fear and trepidation of my childhood was replaced with empathy and a deep, deep sorrow.   I believe it is because I finally realized that  substance abuse is a disease,  and it can afflict virtually any of us.   It does not discriminate among socioeconomic status, age, race, or gender.   The stereotypes of addicts and alcoholics I subconsciously adopted for so many years — the dirty, homeless, toothless, jobless slobs talking to themselves on the street corners — vanished slowly and steadily over time.   I realized that good people with good hearts can develop this disease; I realized that  Icould fit the demographic of a potential alcoholic, especially since it is pandemic in my family of origin.

God unveiled my intense aversion to the addicts and alcoholics with whom I came in contact so that, in an unprecedented humility, I saw for the first time the  person,  the soul behind the disease.   I was able to separate the sickness from the dignity of the person, something I was incapable of achieving without Divine Grace.   What’s more is that I noticed that I had reacted to the addicts and alcoholics with misplaced fear.

I have come to believe that  we fear what we do not understand.    The only way we will change our perception about those who suffer from addictions of various types is to respond to them with  love  instead of  fear.    “Perfect love casts out all fear” (1 John 4:18).   This, I believe, is the key to self-mastery and to humility: the grace we receive by opening our hearts to truth in charity, in our awareness of self and others, and in embracing the reality that  we can enjoy life with or without alcohol!

Credit to  Jeannie Ewing of CatholicExchange.

The Real Problem with NFP–A Continuing Conversation..

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If you enjoyed my post from yesterday, “There’s No Such Thing as NFP”  you’ll appreciate today’s post from Dr. Pia De Solenni’s post that builds on some of the themes I raised.  Here’s a taste…

For quite some time, I’ve been making the case that NFP is pedagogical….NFP, when a couple learns it together, provides a much needed basis for learning how to communicate about vulnerable and deeply private/sensitive topics. What happens in some cases, unfortunately, is that the wife learns and implements it by herself and then her husband sees her as the gatekeeper. She’s keeping him from having sex. If it weren’t for that d****d NFP, they’d be having sex, right? (I remain convinced that many couples who use fertility monitoring devices are in fact looking for a referee in the bedroom. It’s no longer the wife who’s saying that she’s fertile and that it’s not a good time to conceive a child – she’s worn out with that pressure and responsibility which properly belongs to both of them together; it’s now this device that becomes the arbitrator in the bedroom. I’m not opposed to such devices, but I do think it’s important to look at how and why they are used.) This suggests that the couple has deeper issues than NFP.   READ MORE

There is No Such Thing as Natural Family Planning

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The USCCB has proclaimed July 20-26 National NFP Awareness Week.  This is one of a series of posts I’ll be doing to increase awareness of the Catholic vision of love.

At the Theology of the Body Congress last week, I participated in a panel discussion on Natural Family Planning.  I began my comments by asserting, to the surprise of the audience, that the most important thing to remember in discussions about NFP is that there is really no such thing as “NFP.”

<insert sound of record scratch here>

Let me explain.

Don’t Thing-i-fy NFP

NFP isn’t a thing.  I can’t hold it in my hand, or put it in a drawer, or carry it around in a shopping bag.  It isn’t a drug that we take.  It isn’t even a tool (although it often involves “tools” like charts and thermometers or fertility monitors and the like).  NFP isn’t a tangible thing at all. Rather NFP is simply information that allows couples to communicate and pray about how marital intimacy can help them grow in holiness and receptivity to God’s will. 

I think this is a profoundly important thing to realize.  For instance…

~When dioceses, or pastors don’t require couples to complete training in NFP what they are really doing is failing to require a couple to learn how to gather the information they need to communicate and pray about how their marital intimacy can help them grow in holiness and receptivity to God’s will.   I can imagine a lot of clergy saying with a straight face, “We don’t insist on NFP training.”  I think it would be a little more difficult for a bishop or pastor to confidently and comfortably say, “We don’t require our couples to learn to communicate and pray together about how their marital intimacy can help them grow in holiness.”

~Similarly, when people say, “NFP is hard” they’re absolutely right–but not for the reasons they think.  They are not right because NFP is hard.  They are right because communication is hard.  Couple prayer is hard.  Getting marital intimacy right is hard, and growing in holiness and receptivity to God’s will is very hard.  NFP simply insists that couples cannot get by with ignoring these things.  Sadly, many couples really do think they can make it without doing these things–and the high divorce rate attests to their error in logic.  NFP makes couples do work that would otherwise just be easier to pretend we didn’t have to do.  I completely agree that doing this work isn’t always fun.  But every day in my counseling practice, I see the bad fruit that comes from not attending to this challenging, yet still rewarding work.

~When couples say, “We don’t have serious reasons for using NFP” they are communicating a deep and profound misunderstanding of what NFP is because, again, they are thinking of it as a thing.  It isn’t a thing.  It is only information that allows a couple to communicate and pray about how their marital intimacy can help them grow in holiness and receptivity to God’s will.  Couples who say that they don’t have reasons to use it are really saying–probably without meaning to–that they believe they are exempt from communicating and praying about how their marital intimacy can help them grow in holiness or receptivity to God’s will.  Who can really say that?

Incidentally,  I don’t mean to suggest that couples who don’t use NFP have no process in place for communicating and praying about how their marital intimacy can help them grow in holiness and receptivity to God’s will, but I think any couple who isn’t using NFP needs to ask themselves some hard questions about what that process actually is.  And, just to be clear, singing, “Que sera, sera” is not an acceptable process.  It’s not an OK way to be a godly steward of your money.  It’s not an OK way to be a godly steward of your home.  And it is surely not an OK way to be a godly steward of your marriage and sexuality.

NFP: Facilitating the Universal Call to Holiness:

Again, none of this is to take away from the fact that living the Catholic vision of love is hard work.  I know from both professional and personal experience that it truly takes a lot of effort and struggle.  But that isn’t NFP’s fault.  That’s simply the struggle that every couple faces to learn to communicate, pray together, get marital intimacy right, and grow in holiness and openness to God’s will together.  All of that is hard work.  NFP actually makes that work more do-able.

Becoming A Prophetic Witness to Love

The sooner we, as a Church, can stop arguing about whether we should require couples to learn NFP, or whether couples should use NFP, the sooner we can dedicate our time, energy and resources to helping couples actually do the work of NFP; that is,  communicating and praying about how their marital intimacy can help them grow in holiness and receptivity to God’s will.  When we can do this, the Church will finally be able to show the world that we have what everyone is looking for; the plan for creating a free, total, faithful, and fruitful love that can stand the test of time, warm our hearts, and transform the world by its example.   And that, would be a very good thing.

If you’d like to learn more about how the Catholic vision of love can transform your marriage, check out Holy Sex!  The Catholic Guide to Toe-Curling, Mind-Blowing, Infallible Loving.  

Marriage is Work

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By: Emma Smith

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“Yeah, I’m getting divorced too,”  one of my co-workers replied to my boss the other day. The two ladies then exchanged stories about their horrible husbands and that “awful institution” called “marriage.”

Both of their husbands cheated on them and both of them dealt with a multitude of other issues with their husbands that only served to add to the pain of their failed marriages. It was awful to hear what they went through, and I don’t blame them for feeling hurt by the whole experience.

“There’s so much of that out there!” my boss exclaimed. “I know one of my girlfriends who is cheating on her husband and I know a couple of other people where both of them are cheating. I guess you’re lucky if it doesn’t happen to you.”

Then my boss looked over at me and, knowing I’m engaged, said, “Sorry, but I  neverwant to get married again.”

“No,” I wanted to say, “I’m  sorry.”

But I didn’t get it out. I was too busy sorting through all of the reactions in my own head. I ended up remaining silent for the entire conversation because somehow I didn’t think that these women would understand.

I didn’t think they’d understand that if I said, “my fiancé and I are never going to have that issue” that my statement would be one of fact and confidence, not one of blind love and young bravado.

I didn’t think they’d understand what I mean if I said “marriage isn’t just a luck of the draw. It doesn’t work like a lottery.” Because, to them, it does, while for me, I know that it doesn’t. Marriage isn’t a drawing of the straws, where if your spouse cheats on you, well, “sorry, you just drew the short straw. There’s nothing you could have done to prevent it!” It’s not an institution where if you are a strong, happy, and healthy couple you’re just “the lucky ones.” It’s not an institution where the fates decide who “wins” and who “loses.” It’s not a promise you enter into like buying a lottery ticket — someone will win the jackpot while most people just buy empty tickets.

Yet this is how our society has been trained to see marriage. This approach to marriage has so infiltrated our society that people refuse to believe that there should be anything like “marriage prep,” because how do you prep yourself for a game of chance? There’s no way of making yourself any  luckier, so why are you bothering to work on it? Our society has abandoned the idea that marriage is something you work on, and even more so, it has forgotten, and thus doesn’t understand, that marriage is a  calling.

It is a foreign concept that one would be able to say with complete confidence “my spouse will never cheat on me.” And yet, I  can  say that. I can say that because I have a faith and a God who stand behind me in that statement. And I can say that because the love my fiancé and I share is not human, it is divine. We love each other because we love God and we have discovered that in loving one another, we get to love God more fully. Moreover, the love that we have for one another is divine in  origin. God gave it to us at our baptism and it had a full 15-20ish years to grow and mature so that when we met, it blossomed.

That makes us blessed, but it does not make us lucky. We both worked hard on ourselves and on making God the center of our world before we even knew the other existed. In doing so, we returned to God the gift He gave us in that first sacrament. We returned to Him our hearts, and with them we returned to the Creator the divine love placed in our hearts for one another. God knows how to nourish our hearts and souls better than anyone. In nourishing our hearts, He nourished the love that grew in them for each other so that when we met, my soul immediately knew who my fiancé was. (And it only took me a couple of months to catch up with what my soul knew at first sight!)

We have a faith that can make these promises. Promises of faithfulness, love, commitment. Our faith allows us to make these promises because He who gave us love was faithful in His love until the end. He who originated love in our hearts died for us out of that same love. We as Catholics are granted the same strength of faithfulness to the end when we return our love to the one who  is  love. When we participate in making our love a sacrament, when we make a way for God’s grace to enter the world every day, when we demonstrate outwardly our inner devotion, we can say with full knowledge and confidence that we are not in a game of luck. We are in an institution of work and prayer, and we can rest assured that our success rests squarely on the shoulders of our prayerful work and the support of a God who made the universe.

Blessed Pope John Paul II is famous for his line: “man finds himself only in true gift of self.” If we only receive what we give away, then we must strive every day to give our hearts and our love back to Christ.

Giving a gift back doesn’t take luck. It takes work.

 

Credit to Emma Smith of CatholicExchange.

Build A Spiritual Defense

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By: Kathleen Beckman

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Most of us can sense when something is working against us as we persevere to grow in faith and strive to live the Gospel in communion with Christ. Sometimes, quite suddenly our peace of soul or joy in the Lord is oppressed by heaviness and negativity. Many people experience situations when strife arises, friendships abruptly break down, misunderstandings in families or groups cause division, odd accidents happen, strange twists occur and pathways are blocked. It is imprudent to always assume these are due to diabolical influences but often the devil is in mix. When a person becomes a threat to the demonic realm due to their love for God and/or some good work that builds up the Church, the devil reacts to the degree that  God  allows. Human messiness is due to our foibles and sin but there can be a diabolical influence. All men experience temptation and most also experience diabolical oppression at some level.

Christ allowed himself to be confronted by the devil to teach us how to resist him. It is sometimes necessary that we personally repeat the words of our Lord, “Be gone Satan”(Matt 4:10). Scripture should readily be on our lips in defense of our dignity and vocation. Sacramental baptism confers authority upon us as children of God so that in the  name of Jesus Christ  we effectively pray against demonic attacks.

Exorcist priests will look for natural causes and if there is no apparent natural cause–the reality may be that a spirit  not of God  is asserting oppression upon persons and situations. The devil harasses and tempts us to betray God, others and ourselves. What then? Whether such situations are due to human weakness, sin or diabolical influence, the solution is the same. We are to bind ourselves to Christ all the more sacramentally and with increased prayer, persevere by grace that is always sufficient.

Parents protect their children by praying for and with them, claiming them for Christ alone. Spouses can do the same for one another. To break free from ordinary demonic tactics we immediately reinforce our relationship with Christ through the sacraments and prayer. We can count on Mary, angels and saints who provide real spiritual defense on our behalf.

Ordinary Demonic Tactics  can include the following. When there is natural cause for these, the devil often exacerbates it.

  • Distance: from home, family, fragmentation, isolation, loneliness, love
  • Deception: reality inverted, false promises, lies
  • Division: divided self, family, home, work, country, church
  • Diversion: delay, distract, relativism, exacerbating addictions or infirmities
  • Discouragement: acedia (Greek meaning “I don’t care”), lethargy about self, others or about the interior life, tiredness, overwhelm
  • Draining spirit: drains energy from you, extreme physical fatigue without cause, leads to waste of time, less energy, less prayer and devotion
  • Doubt: subtle to intense doubts about self, others or God undermining faith, hope and love

During his Angelus address on Sunday, 17 February 2002, commenting on the readings of the first Sunday of Lent (the temptation of Christ in the desert), Pope John Paul II said, “The Messiah’s resolute attitude is an example and an invitation for us to follow him with courageous determination. The devil, the “prince of this world” (John 12,31), even today continues his deceitful action. Every man, over and above his own concupiscence and the bad example of others, is also tempted by the devil, and the more so when he is least aware of it. How many times he easily gives in to the false flattery of the flesh and the evil one, and then experiences bitter delusions. One must stay on guard to react quickly to the onslaught of temptation. The Church, expert teacher of humanity and holiness, shows us ancient and ever new instruments for the daily combat against evil suggestions:    prayer, the sacraments, penance, careful attention to the Word of God, vigilance and fasting.”

The power of prayer

From the vantage point of a person assisting priests and exorcists who work on the frontlines of spiritual warfare, I attest to the power of prayer to banish demons. The spiritual weapons used by an exorcist and his team is available to all the faithful with the one exception,  The Rite of Exorcism. The  Rite  is a sacramental reserved for a designated priest only. The other sacramentals used in exorcism are available to everyone and these include the crucifix, holy water, the Bible, blessed objects such as rosaries and saint relics.

What occurs during a formal Rite of Exorcism? Prayer! The priest and his team ardently offer continuous prayers that include the litany of saints, the Creed, the Our Father and Hail Mary, the holy Rosary, and the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. We see their effect when the demon is forced to leave the poor victim because he can’t stand the force of the prayer. Prayer releases spiritual power. Sometimes I think the demons are more aware of the spiritual power of prayer than many of us. The evil one would rather vacate than remain in the presence of faith-filled prayer.

One thing that we are keenly aware of during healing and deliverance prayer is that the battle is the Lord’s. He is always the Chief Exorcist acting in and through his priests who are prayer warriors supported by a team of more prayer warriors. We pray, pray, pray! The devil may mock us for a while, but with more prayer, he is weaker. He becomes tormented by the continuous power of prayer until he would rather leave than stay. Perseverance in faith-filled prayer is key to proclaiming the victory of Jesus Christ.

The power of the Sacraments

St. Peter reminds us, “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal which comes upon you to prove you, as though something strange were happening to you” (1 Peter 4:12-14). And “be sober and vigilant; your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour; resist him, firm in your faith knowing that your fellow believers around the world undergo the same sufferings” (1 Peter 5:6-11).

No matter what level of diabolical harassment we may be experiencing–whether we suffer ordinary temptations that are common to all; or oppression that is prevalent but considered ordinary demonic activity; or obsession that is considered a spiritual disorder wherein a person needs deliverance prayer and conversion; or possession which is extremely rare and requires the Rite of Exorcism; the sacraments are vital medicine for healing. The sacraments are perpetual reservoirs of life giving, healing grace. We can ask Christ to release the power of Baptism, Confirmation, Holy Communion, Confession, Matrimony or Holy Orders to strengthen and heal us.

The Power of the Word of God

Often during deliverance or exorcism prayers, the priest asks a member of the team to proclaim the Word of God aloud. We read a scripture passage and it becomes evident that the devil is tormented by the living Word of God. We know the Word of God is  thesword of the Spirit that severs from evil.

St. Paul tells us in Romans, “We are more than conquerors in Christ” (Rom 8:37). An acronym for  conqueror  may be helpful in recalling the weapons of engagement for the “good fight”.

  • C for  Christ’s  name (the name of Jesus Christ proclaims His victory)
  • O for  obedience  (obedience to God confounds the disobedient one)
  • N for  not mine, but God’s will (our yes to God releases grace)
  • Q for  Queen  Mother (Mary crushes the head of the serpent)
  • U for  union  with Christ (Holy Communion binds us to Christ)
  • E for  evangelical poverty  (renunciation of honor, riches, sensual pleasure)
  • R for  reconciliation  (healing mercy)
  • O for  ordered life  (life ordered to Christ becomes spiritual armor)
  • R for  reject  Satan  (resist the devil and he will flee)

Vigilance and Fasting

Carelessness, presumption, denial, self-indulgence and independence lead us to fall. Christ calls us to be vigilant and aware of demonic tactics that test us as Job was tested.   One proven method that helps sharpen our spiritual vision, discernment, prayer and vigilance is the ancient art of fasting. Everyone can fast from something in order to discipline our selves for the greater joy of being a fit soldier for Christ.

God the Father taught St. Catherine of Siena, “…No one should fear any battle or temptation of the devil that may come to him, because I have made My creatures strong, and have given them strength of will, fortified in the Blood of My Son, which will, neither devil nor creature can move, because it is yours, given by Me.” (Catherine of Siena,  The Dialogue, Treatise on Discretion, 27)

While we are diligent to resist Satan with God’s grace, we should also be aware that many people are summoning him so that the cult of Satan worshippers is growing especially among young people. This is one reason there is an urgent need for the New Evangelization. Let us not only defend ourselves in the spiritual battle but also intercede for those who on the frontlines of the “good fight”–the priests.

Credit to  Kathleen Beckman of CatholicExchange.

 

Why We Love the Saints

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By: Cynthia Trainque

saint nick  Having the family background that I do  (I am the only one in my family of origin that is still Catholic–everyone else now worships at the local Assembly of God) I have been asked, “Why do Catholics pray to and worship saints?” I have been told that it is idolatry and it takes away from Jesus’ role as the “one mediator between God and mankind” (1 Tim. 2:15).   So, this let us look at saints and their powerful witness and intercession. I have also been asked, “Why don’t you just pray directly to God?”

Let’s look at the term “saints” in general.   There are actually a few categories of them.   In Scripture, St. Paul seems to apply the terms “holy ones” and “saints” inter-changeably….but restricted to those who were baptized into the Faith.   Today we could also add the term “the faithful” to describe the baptized. It is also used to describe all those saints who have died but who have not been canonized–and those whose quiet holiness is known only to God. It is for this reason the Church celebrates them collectively on November 1st–All Saints’ Day.   At first it was celebrated for those who were martyred for the faith; there were so many in the early centuries of the Church that separate feast days could not be held – especially when large groups were persecuted and martyred at the same time. The third “level” of saints in the Church is of those who have been canonized.

But why does the Church make saints to begin with? Actually, it doesn’t.   It is God himself who–from age to age–has raised up certain people unto himself…people to show us the way to the “fullness of charity” (Eucharistic Prayer II) even while here on earth.   They were (and are) all powerful instruments used by God for his purpose.

In the Old Testament God raised up Noah, Abraham, Isaac, David, Solomon, Judith, Deborah, Esther and many others.   All canonizations are within the context of the Sacred Liturgy which is the highest form of praise one can give to God.   Eucharist means Thanksgiving and we give thanks for the great mercy and example he gives us through these powerful saints to inspire us and give us hope. The process of canonization is lengthy and nothing is done lightly or arbitrarily. Prudence and the test of time are necessary in order to avoid a rush to judgment about the saint’s entry into heaven.  Not only bishops and medical doctors have a part in the determination process but psychotherapists who are well versed in the Catholic Faith as well.

What are the criteria of a person’s life to make them worthy of sainthood? While one might first tend to think about their holiness of life, prayer life, good deeds to others, writings and all the usual matters   or perhaps think of their abilities to work miracles (St. Padre Pio), to levitate (St. Teresa of Avila), to have infused knowledge (St. Joseph of Cupertino), visions (St. Margaret Mary Alacoque), apparitions (Lourdes), bi-location (St. Anthony of Padua) or have survived for several years by consuming nothing but the Holy Eucharist (St. Catherine of Siena) or such other “mystical phenomena”,  the absolute first and highest among all others  are obedience to the Church and heroic virtue.

St. Ignatius of Antioch tells us in his letter to the Ephesians that it is not enough to simply honor the bishop –  as important as that is.   Rather, “we ought to regard the bishop as the Lord himself”.   One of the great documents that came out of Vatican II,Lumen Gentium, calls the bishop the “Vicar of Christ” ( ¶27).   Why obedience? It was–as Jesus himself said–his “food”; that is, to do the Father’s will (Jn 4:34). When we live our lives in obedience to our holy bishops and/or religious superiors it is then that we resemble Jesus most perfectly. Heroic virtue often goes hand in hand with obedience to the Church for quite often the saints were greatly tested by Church leadership and other religious authority.

Consider St. John of the Cross, the Carmelite monk who was the reformer of the Discalced Carmelite order of men. Although lead by God (and invited/urged by Teresa of Avila) to undertake this great reform, he was thrown into the monastery prison for some nine months, allowed a change of clothes after three months and received little food.   Rather than rebel, it was during this time in the dark, damp, rat-infested prison that John wrote one of his greatest poems–A Spiritual Canticle of the Soul and the Bridegroom Christ; it is still considered even today as a spiritual masterpiece and one of the greatest works ever in Spanish literature. That’s heroic virtue.

Heroic virtue is refusing to defend oneself in the face of false accusations by religious superiors and being expelled from one’s   community (as in the case of St. Gerard Majella) and relying on God to eventually give defense and bring forth the truth. Gerard was ultimately exonerated and allowed to return to his community. The parents of Thérèse Martin (St. Thérèse of Lisieux) are candidates for sainthood for their heroic virtue of giving all five of their daughters to religious monastic life–four to Carmel with Leonie the middle child going to the Visitation Nuns in Paray-le-Monial. Back then when a woman entered into a monastery, the parents were no longer allowed to see their daughters or, at best, only once or twice a year and only through a grille. Often the parents would suffer hardship in not having anyone to tend to them in their old age. Why suffer all of this? Love of their Beloved Jesus and love of his holy and glorious Church and a strong, passionate desire to imitate him unto death.

“Chastised a little, they shall be greatly blessed,
because God tried them
and found them worthy of himself.
As gold in the furnace, he proved them,
and as sacrificial offerings he took them to himself.
In the time of their judgment they shall shine
and dart about as sparks through stubble” (Wis. 3:5-7).

Let us now return to our question at hand–about praying to saints. Every Protestant who may read this will admit that they have been asked at one time or other to intercede for someone in prayer.   Yet no Protestant would ever reply, “Don’t ask me…go directly to God with your request”.   If you and I could ask another human (even in our sinfulness) to make intercession for us or the needs of someone else, we can certainly ask the saints who are surely alive in Christ.   Part of the process of canonization is that once a candidate has been declared “Venerable” a miracle must be attributed to his/her intercession before he/she can be beatified.   From there another miracle must occur prior to the canonization.   Miracles that occur through the intercession of the saints and “hold” (a person must be cured for five years before it is accepted…it must also be instantaneous, complete, inexplicable) is the acceptable proof that they are indeed in Heaven.

But–”Jesus is the sole mediator”.   According to Merriam-Webster, a mediator is a legal term–one who “mediates between parties who are at variance”–such as we were before the great Atonement of Jesus on the Cross–we who had gone “astray like sheep” (1 Pet. 2:25).   Jesus then is the  sole mediator of our salvation.   The term “mediator” is not the same as “intercessor”. The Greek for “mediator” in this passage is “mesites” (μεσίτης) while the Greek for “intercession” is “enteuxis” (ἔντευξις).   In the same part of Paul’s First Letter to Timothy quoted above he “urges…first of all that prayers, petitions, intercessions “enteuxis” (ἔντευξις) and thanksgivings be made for all people” (2:1) …nothing here about going to God direct. If Jesus is truly the sole mediator of our prayers it is because of both his mercy and generosity that allows us to pray  in  Christthrough  the Holy Spirit–our prayer is  not  outside of that of Jesus.

Even in the Book of Revelation the “prayers of God’s people went up before God from the angel’s hand,” (8:4)…not the hand of Jesus.   If this is in a vision to John from Jesus himself, it must be God’s design that it happen this way.   Rev. 5:8 calls the incense itself the “prayers of God’s people”. Therefore when a priest and especially a bishop (because within him lies the fullness of the priesthood and he is Vicar of Christ) uses incense at Mass it is richly symbolic of him sending our prayers and the Eucharistic Sacrifice to God in Heaven–a breath-taking thought! The same thing is said about praying to the Virgin Mary…she keeps nothing for herself and simply directs us, “Do whatever he tells you” (Jn 2:5).   John does not tell us that the embarrassed couple even approached Mary about their dilemma. Ever-watchful mother that she is, she saw a need and acted on it. Her faith in Jesus’ ability brought about his first of many miracles.

Let us never shy away from asking Mary and the holy saints of God in Heaven to pray for and to intercede for us.   Whatever they obtain for us glorifies God–not them.   If God answers your prayer–made either to him direct or through any number of intercessors (whether heavenly or not)–feel free to send the customary offering of $10.00 to have a Mass of Thanksgiving said in gratitude. It is the perfect act of thanks. Or, step out in faith like the first (would be) male saint in the U.S. on his way to canonization, the  Venerable Solanus Casey  who would praise and thank God for answered prayers —  before they were answered. Why not act now have that Mass said soon?

Credit to  Cynthia Trainque of CatholicExchange.

Ad Contra Providentialists–Natural Family Planning Awareness Week

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It’s NFP Awareness Week according to the USCCB and several Patheos bloggers are taking a look at the topic.  Simcha is doing a massive give-away contest over at her place.  Tom McDonald has a solid post on the havoc the Pill is wreaking on the environment.

Others are taking notice as well.   It is strange to me that with so few people actually practicing it (about 2% of Catholics) NFP Catholics still come under fire from far right providentialists who believe that it is morally suspect to attempt to consciously do anything to plan one’s family.   The Personalist Project’s Katie van Schaijik responds to the providentialists and gets it exactly right.    As a very orthodox theologian friend of mine put it, “in truth, providentialism is very hard to defend from a Catholic perspective.”  Here’s a sample of Katherine’s argument.  By all means, though, you should go and read the rest.

…the real problem with providentialism is something very different; something deep and far-reaching—going, in fact, to the innermost heart of our Faith. In brief, providentialism represents and perpetuates a false view of human sexuality, of marriage and of the Christian moral life—a view that malforms consciences, grievously burdens families, and misrepresents the Church to the world.

Serious charges, I am aware. Please bear with me while I explain.

First, let me repeat a key distinction, helpfully enunciated by Dr. Smith in the course of her talk. There are two critically different kinds of providentialists, which in shorthand we may call personal providentialists and theoretical providentialists. The problem I am speaking of is only with the latter. It has nothing at all to do with those spouses who, taking into prayerful account the unique inward and outward circumstances of their married life, freely and generously open themselves to as many children as come to them.3 In fact, I’ll even grant gladly that the Church has a “preferential love” for such families, just as she has for the poor. (What Catholic heart can resist them?) The problem is not with these, but with those who “add to God’s law” by seeking to impose an obligation on all married couples that is not to be found in the teachings of the Church, viz., that unless prevented by nature or emergencies, all married couples ought to have large families; and, correlatively, no couple should make use of NFP, except in very rare cases, and then only with sincere regret and extreme caution.4 (NB: This kind of providentialist can be found among priests, teachers and single lay Catholics, as well as married couples. It is not unknown among college students.)

What does the Church really say?

The teaching of the Church with respect to family planning is straightforward, clear and easily summarized.

1)   Spouses must be willing to accept children lovingly.

2)   Spouses may not practice contraception.

3)   Taking into consideration a whole range and variety of factors, including physical, economic, psychological and sociological factors, spouses may do well to practice Natural Family Planning to space children and/or limit family size, provided that they do so with due moral seriousness—with a generous, responsible and prayerful sense of what they owe to God, to one another, to their children and to society.

That’s all.  (go read the rest)

Admittedly, this can be a difficult topic to sort out for oneself, especially when so few pastors are prepared to speak to this issue in any kind of an informed way.  If you would like to learn more about the Catholic vision of love, what the Church actually teaches and how to respond to the obstacles couples often face in living the truth of that teaching in their lives, check out Holy Sex!  A Catholic Guide to Toe-Curling, Mind-Blowing, Infallible Loving.    As one reader put it, “This book courageously and unashamedly explores the true source, meaning, and purpose of our sexuality. It explodes the myth that the Church and sex are nearly mutually exclusive, and reveals the dignity and reverence that the Church places upon sex and sexuality not only for procreation but just as importantly for its absolute integral importance for creating and nurturing a deep, true, spiritual marital relationship. This book shows us that physical pleasure is indeed very good and highly encouraged by the Church in the marital relationship. Not in the same way that physical pleasure is presented to us in the thin veneer of eroticism that society inundates us with, but as a beautiful part of something much deeper and more meaningful.”

Quick Discipline

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Do you ever get frustrated at your kids when they never listen? Lisa Popcak, Co-author of “Grace: The Catholic Guide to Raising Almost Perfect Kids,” provides some helpful advice on how to practically and effectively discipline your children.