The Power of “Family Stories” –What Story Does YOUR FAMILY LIFE Tell Your Kids about Faith, Life and Relationship?

Posted on October 29, 2015 by GREG

Image via Shutterstock. Used with permission.

If you ever want to know what your kids will grow up to think about media use, alcohol, sex, faith, managing conflict, and a host of other important issues, don’t ask yourself what you believe, or what other people are telling them. Ask, “What story does our family life tell about X?”

Once Upon A Time…

It isn’t unusual for me to have conversations with a parent (usually a mom) who is concerned that she and her husband aren’t on the same page about a particular issue. “What do the kids make of the fact that we don’t see eye-to-eye?”

The answer to that question is that kids resolve any disagreements between their parents (and other outside influences) by looking at the story their family lives tell about relating to those things. For instance, one mom asked me if it was OK that her husband, a casual drinker, occasionally let their 14yo take the last sip of his beer. She was, personally, appalled. Further, the teen had recently come home with a handout from his youth group stating that underage drinking was a sin. She was worried what her son would make about the various conflicting messages he would get about alcohol.

I asked her to tell me the story her family life is writing about alcohol. I explained that I wasn’t interested in what she and her husband believed about drinking or what she thought her kids were hearing about alcohol but rather, what the narrative her family life told about their household’s relationship with alcohol. What do the kids see? She told me that her kids see that mom and dad have a drink at special dinners, that dad will have a beer sometimes either after the kids are in bed and they are watching a movie together, or if they get together with friends they might have a drink or two but never to the point of even getting buzzed much less drunk. I asked her to write these things into a brief narrative. “In our family, drinking alcohol is something that grown-ups sometimes do as part of certain social situations and never to get buzzed or drunk.” When I asked her, she emphatically agreed that she would be comfortable with her children internalizing this “story” that her family life told about alcohol. Even though she had specific concerns that she could certainly continue to discuss and discern with her husband, she could have that ongoing conversation feeling confident that the general message her kids were getting about alcohol was a healthy one.

The Power of Story

We often worry about specific details while missing the big picture. The stories we tell with the lives we live at home are the most important catechesis we put our kids through. The overall way we live around our disagreements is more important than even the need to resolve the disagreements. Parents will never be on the same page about everything, but that can be alright if the way they relate to those differences creates a functional narrative that their children can use as the script for guiding their own behavior around that issue. Although the example above was about responsible drinking, it could just as easily be about sexuality, faith & prayer, conflict management, or anything else.

See For Yourself

If you wonder what attitude your children will have about the things that are most important to you, try this exercise. Ask yourself to describe, in two or three sentences, the story your life at home tells about prayer, or sex and romance, or handling disputes, or any other topic. Describe in a short paragraph the story that your children are “hearing” as they watch you and your spouse relate to and around that issue.

Getting Your Story Straight

More than anything you tell them that is the family story that will guide their own relationship with that issue as adults. To learn more about telling the family stories that can help your children have healthy attitudes about life, faith, and relationship, check out Parenting with Grace: The Catholic Guide to Raising (almost) Perfect Kids or contact the Pastoral Solutions Institute to learn how our Catholic tele-counseling practice can help you live a more abundant marriage, family, or personal life.

Are Your Relationships “Frozen”? What Disney Can Teach Us About A Common Relationship Problem

Posted on October 27, 2015 by GREG

There is a terrific article at The Science of Relationships on what Disney’s Frozen can teach us about a common relationship problem and how it can negatively impact even our physical health!

While the Disney animated film “Frozen” is most famous for its lovable characters and award-winning song “Let it Go”, this kids’ movie can teach us a thing or two about attachment styles in close relationships and the important interplay between partners’ preferences for intimacy versus independence. In “Frozen,” the relationship difficulties that occur when these preferences clash are most evident between the two protagonists, sisters Elsa and Anna.

Anxious Anna and Avoidant Elsa: Attachment in “Frozen”

Attachment style describes the degree to which we perceive our relationships (usually romantic partnerships) as being secure, capable of meeting our needs, and a source of comfort in times of distress. People who are securely attached are comfortable depending on others as well as having others depend on them. Some people, however, have negative expectations in relationships, leading to insecure attachment styles. For example, individuals with an anxious attachment style fear rejection and abandonment, yet their cravings for closeness may inadvertently drive others away. In “Frozen”, Anna is anxiously attached. Her parents’ death and her sister’s abandonment leave her alone and desperate for love – so desperate, in fact, that she almost married a man she just met (Prince Hans). Whenever Elsa seeks distance in the movie, Anna continues to pursue her and ends up getting hurt in the process. Anxiously attached people may engage in behavior like this because they over-rely on their attachment figures for reassurance.

On the other hand, avoidant attachment is characterized by feeling uncomfortable with closeness in relationships and a desire to maintain emotional distance. A person high in avoidant attachment would find it difficult to depend on others. In “Frozen”, Elsa exemplifies avoidant attachment. As a child, she was encouraged to “conceal, don’t feel” after her magical ability to create snow and ice accidentally injures Anna. From that moment on, Elsa increasingly pulls away from her sister both physically and emotionally. When Anna finally confronts Elsa about her habit of shutting everyone out, Elsa responds by lashing out with her powers and running away (self-protective strategies, such as defensiveness and withdrawal, are how avoidantly-attached people typically respond to relationship stressors).¹ People high in avoidance also tend to underestimate others’ care and support for them. For instance, even after Anna communicates her desire to help Elsa, Elsa rejects her sister’s support and insists on being alone.

It’s easy to see how an anxious-avoidant pairing could snowball into relationship dysfunction: in the face of an attachment threat, such as an argument or confrontation, anxious individuals are likely to pursue their attachment figures in an attempt to reestablish feelings of closeness, just as Anna did when she ventured out into the blizzard to chase after Elsa. When the avoidant partner responds by pulling away – as Elsa did when she told Anna her intention of never returning home – the anxious person’s fears are reinforced and the relationship is likely to suffer (i.e., Anna feels abandoned yet clings to her hope of reconnecting with her sister; Elsa feels overwhelmed and inadvertently strikes her sister with a nearly-fatal blast of ice).

Attachment and Physical Health

“Frozen” conveyed the disastrous consequences of attachment style mismatch when Anna was physically injured after continually provoking Elsa. But what are the effects of anxious-avoidant pairings in relationships in the real world? Can being with a romantic partner who has conflicting attachment goals actually harm you? A number of studies have found evidence that yes, insecure attachment styles are associated with physiological stress responses and lifestyle behaviors that put people at risk for health problems….CONTINUE READING.

4 Ways Parents and Adult Children Can Get Along

Posted on October 27, 2015 by GREG

Relationships between parents and adult children–and vice versa–can be tricky. Today, on More2Life Radio, we discussed the challenges that these relationships face and how to negotiate them more effectively. In particular, we focused on four action-steps that help parents relate more effectively with their adult children and, for that matter, allow adult children to relate more effectively to their parents. We used the acronym RISE.

R–RELATIONSHIP
I–INTERCEDE
S–SUPPORT
E–ENCOURAGE

Relationship

In general, parents and adult children tend to assume too much about their relationship with one another. Parents assume that their adult children owe them a relationship and often treat their adult children in a rude or heavy-handed manner that they would never use with their real friends. In turn, adult children often take their parents for granted assuming that their parents should always be there for them but they shouldn’t have to give anything back to the relationship.

Parents and adult children need to be intentional about creating a good bond. To that end, both parties need to ask themselves–on an ongoing basis–simple questions like…

What have I done lately (or what might I need to do) to build rapport and good feeling between us?

Are there any offenses I need to repent of (past or present) and seek forgiveness/reconciliation for?

Are there limits I need to set to make a mutually generous, mutually respectful adult friendship possible? (Or at least to stop one party from treating the other as a vending machine or mere extension of their ego?)

Being mindful about the relationship–not making assumptions about what each party owes to the other–is key to transitioning from a parent-child dynamic to a parent-adult child friendship.

Intercede

Parents: Are you praying daily for your adult children? Don’t just pray that they would change or that God would bless them. Pray that God would help you be the parent/true friend your adult child needs you to be. That you would be given the grace to support and disciple your children well as they try to make their way in the world.

Adult Children: Are you praying for your parents? Don’t just pray that they would stop doing annoying things. Pray that God would strengthen you to be a true, respectful, adult in the relationship; one who knows how to give back to the relationship in appropriately generous ways and set respectful limits when necessary.

BONUS POINTS: Do you pray about your relationship together? Christians should bring all their relationships before God and ask him for his ongoing guidance. Create opportunities to pray together and ask God to help all of you be what you need to be for each other, that God’s will might be done in your lives and that your family would give him glory in all the ways you treat each other and all the things you do together.

Support

Parents and adult children are often good at criticizing each other, but perhaps not quite as good at offering practical support for those positive choices each other is making.

Parents: What things are your adult children doing that you can support or be proud of? Have you asked your child what they want or need from you to support them in these actions or choices? Don’t just do. Ask what they need and be willing to do what you can to provide practical, welcome assistance.

Adult Children: Your parents still want and need your support. Keeping in mind that your primary obligation is to your spouse and children, are you challenging yourself to make time to help out your folks, encourage them, and ask what they might need from you?

Encourage

Parents: Adult children never stop wanting their parents’ approval or needing mentors for living a full and healthy Christian life. Encourage by example. Remember to focus on your personal, relational and spiritual growth. Face your shortcomings. Continue to develop your capacity to live a meaningful, intimate, and virtuous life. Go deeper in your own marriage. Don’t lecture. Give your children a reason to follow your example and encourage them to live a godly life by letting them see the benefits of doing so in your life and relationships.

Adult Children: Parents know they aren’t perfect, but they would like to know that they did somethings right. Don’t forget to thank them for the things they did well. Even if you are living your life or parenting your children differently than your parents did, are there some areas you can seek their counsel in? Keep in mind, too, that transitioning from being a family to being “just a couple” can be a little scary for your folks. Encourage them to take time for each other and to continue to explore ways that they can live meaningful lives. And don’t forget that by facing the challenges in your own life like the responsible adult you are, you enable your parents to carve out the time and energy they need to live their own meaningful lives.

Conclusion

These action steps don’t cover every scenario, but they can serve as a guide to establishing a healthy adult friendship between parents and their adult children. Ask yourself, “What are we already doing and how could we do more of it?” and also, “What of the above is missing from our relationship and what steps do we need to take to include these action steps?” For additional suggestions on managing the complications that often arise in relationships between parents and adult children (and vice-versa) check out God Help Me, These People Are Driving Me Nuts! Making Peace with Difficult People.

Want Better Sex? Talking Together More Effective Than “Female Viagra”, New Study Says

Posted on October 20, 2015 by GREG

A hormone treatment with oxytocin improves the sexual experience of women suffering from sexual dysfunction. This is the finding of a study conducted at MedUni Vienna, which has now been published in the journal Fertility and Sterility. However, a control group that only received a placebo via a nasal spray, showed similar improvements. Sexual dysfunction in women is therefore not merely a question of a chemical hormone deficiency but is often also a sign of a lack of communication with a partner and an expression of everyday stress, emphasizes Michaela Bayerle-Eder, specialist in internal medicine and sexual medicine at MedUni Vienna.

Oxytocin, which is known as the “bonding hormone,” is also thought to enhance sexuality. In order to investigate this, 30 women taking part in an eight-month long-term study conducted by the Department of Clinical Pharmacology at MedUni Vienna used an oxytocin nasal spray immediately before in
tercourse. The test subjects were women with sexual dysfunction (arousal problems, inorgasmia, painful intercourse etc.). Together with their partners, the women kept a diary and used a questionnaire to assess how sexual function changed for them during the treatment. A control group was given a placebo for the same period of time.

The result: although the sex lives and sexual satisfaction of the women receiving oxytocin treatment improved significantly, the group that only received a placebo also had significantly improved scores.

Sexuality as the “highest” form of communication between two people

For project leader Michaela Bayerle-Eder, doctor of internal medicine and sexual medicine at MedUni Vienna (currently working in the Endocrinology Division of the University Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology), this proves just how important communication with one’s partner is to sexual satisfaction: “Clearly the fact that the women thought more about their sexuality and spoke with their partners about sex during the course of the study in itself brought about measurable improvements.” This therefore suggests that it is often only misunderstandings that prevent couples from fully expressing and enjoying their sexuality. “Sexual problems are often caused by the stress of everyday life rather than any chemical deficiency in a woman’s hormone balance.” If sexual problems arise, it is therefore advisable to seek medical advice as soon as possible to try to track down the cause.

“Female Viagra” is not a wonder drug

A drug called flibanserin, which was only approved by the US FDA (Federal Drug Administration) at the third attempt and is being marketed in the US in October 2015 under the name “Addyi,” produced similar results in clinical trials. This drug, which is being called a sex pill for women or “Female Viagra” changes the hormone balance in the brain and in this way increases a woman’s sexual desire, thus resulting in more enjoyable sex. But, once again, clear improvements in sexual function were also found in the placebo group. Moreover, this drug has unpleasant side-effects such as dizziness, fatigue and nausea and can only be prescribed by doctors who have been trained in its use and are authorized to do so by the FDA. “So we are still a long way from a sex pill for women,” explains Bayerle-Eder and makes the plea: “Up to 40% of women and more than 30% of men suffer from some form of sexual dysfunction, which detracts from their quality of life, and this figure is even as high as 90% amongst chronically ill patients. In order to meet the “WHO criteria 2006″ for maintaining health, it is important that sexual medicine should be an important part of medical training and advanced training.”

If you’d like to discover how you can experience the kind of connection that leads to a more joyful, passionate, fulfilling marital sexuality, check out Holy Sex! A Catholic Guide to Mind Blowing, Toe-Curling, Infallible Loving TODAY!

Bad Parenting: Why The Ban Against Communion for Divorced and Remarried Catholics Is Unjust and 3 Ways to Fix It.

Posted on October 20, 2015 by GREG

Shutterstock

In all the debate about what should be done to help those Catholics who have divorced and remarried without the benefit of an annulment, there is one solution I have not heard debated.

Let’s Be Honest…

I agree that it is seriously problematic to allow those who have remarried without the benefit of an annulment to receive communion for the reasons I have mentioned elsewhere. But let’s face it, Did the vast majority of people who are on this path choose it knowingly and consciously? Did the vast majority of people who were struggling with the pain of divorce really one day say, “Screw it. I am going to choose to live an adulterous life in an invalid second marriage. I don’t care if it means that I can’t take communion again! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Of course not.

Bad Parenting

Most people who find themselves on this path got there because of poor formation, terrible catechesis, and simple ignorance about how the Church really thinks about marriage, why it thinks that way, and the practical significance of all this high-level thinking to their actual daily lives as Christians. Is it really just to hold them accountable for failing to live out principles that were never communicated to them–or at least were never communicated adequately to them–in the first place? To bar these couples from communion is a bit like a neglectful parent refusing to communicate the house rules to her children only to impose a consequences after the fact. “You shouldn’t have been playing ball in the house. You’re grounded for two weeks and you lose your ball!” “But mom! You never told me I couldn’t play in the house!” “Tough. You should have known better.”

Such lousy parenting is unbecoming of any parent, including our Spiritual Mother, the Church. I think many of the Synod Fathers intuit this, and their sense of guilt around the poor catechesis and formation they have given the faithful drives a desire to be lenient on the back end of the process to make up for the Church’s failures to communicate on the front end of the process. But this too is terrible parenting. It’s the equivalent of telling a child, “Well, you shouldn’t have been playing in the house but I never told you that so I can’t give you a consequence for it. For that matter, I can never ask you to refrain from playing in the house in the future.”

So what can be done?

(Spiritual) Parent Effectiveness Training

To return to our parenting analogy, in the above example, the only just solution is for the parent to go to the misbehaving child and say, “Listen, I am truly sorry for not having told you what my expectations are. Because of that, I can’t punish you for breaking the window by playing ball in the house. In fact, I am going to clean up this mess with you. But moving forward, I promise to do a much better job telling you what my expectations are and why. In return, you will need to do a really good job of listening so that if you mess up again, you’ll understand what the consequences are all about.”

In this scenario, 95% of the responsibility falls to the parent to apologize for his or her neglect, map out a plan for the future and communicate that plan along with any future consequences that might need to be imposed to maintain a peaceful and orderly home.

What does this mean to the Church’s approach to divorced and remarried persons. I would suggest the following.

3 Steps to Bringing Our Children Home.

1. Share Responsibility for Cleaning Up the Mess. Allow fast-track annulments on the (newly developed) grounds of poor catechesis/inadequate formation. A valid marriage requires consent but you can’t give full consent if you don’t know what you’re consenting to. If a couple could demonstrate that they really were not taught by their pastors, catechists, or parents how to practically understand and live the Catholic vision of love, sex and marriage and/or they had no intention of living this Catholic difference in their own marriage then they should be granted a speedy annulment of their first marriage. Pope Benedict XVI recommended something similar to this. Frankly, while I am not a canonist (and at the risk of irritating those who are) I imagine that this could potentially be handled similarly to “lack of form” annulments (e.g., when a Catholic gets married in a non-Catholic church without permission f the bishop) which are typically the easiest and fastest annulments to grant. All the couple would have to do is fill out a form that describes their understanding of marriage at the time of their first wedding. It would be pretty easy to assess their capacity to live what the Church means by marriage. Validity wouldn’t necessarily require some theologically developed answer on the part of couples. Something along the lines of “I understood that God chose this person for me so that we could help each other be better Christians and help each other get to heaven.” would be sufficient to establish an ability to consent to the Church’s vision of marriage.

Following this, they would need to go through a marriage catechumenate (see #3 below) in order to have their second marriage convalidated.

As far as communion goes, to maintain both the integrity of the sacrament and to be as generous as possible to couples who were in this process, bishops could grant permission to couples to be admitted to communion even before the annulment process was complete based upon their own assessment and/or the pastor’s recommendation of the sincerity of the couple and the veracity and validity of their response to the initial assessment. The determination by a bishop or designated pastor of a “founded hope” that the annulment would be granted would be sufficient grounds for readmission to communion. This places the responsibility on the Church to move the process along instead of making the faithful responsible for delays in the juridical process.

2. Formators Called to Penance. The fact that so many couples are completely ignorant of the Catholic vision of marriage and would not be able to articulate the basic statement I wrote above is–quite simply–the fault of our spiritual “parents”: our bishops, pastors, catechists, and family life ministers. The church should ask all people who are responsible for marriage preparation to do penance for failing the faithful. They should be asked to fast and engage in other mortifications in order to make reparations for their dereliction of duty and to remind themselves that they must do better in the future. Their penance would be an act of generosity to married couples, a display of authentic mercy, and it would communicate a commitment to do a better job forming the next generation of Catholic families. Most importantly, it would place the responsibility for the current mess squarely where it belongs. Not on the poorly formed faithful, but the failed formators.

3. Initiate Marriage Catechumenate. Marriage prep as we know it should be scrapped and replaced with a marriage catechumenate. This is one of the best ideas I have heard coming out of the synod. NCRegister explains this idea here but the short version is that a marriage catechumenate is a longer period of preparation that emphasizes the role of marriage in living a Christian life. This would be a HUGE gift to couples and would contribute mightily to challenging the divorce culture in and outside of the Church. It would also go a long way to helping to form “intentional disciples” that is, adults who understood how to bring their faith into their homes and out into the world so that God could both open their hearts to his grace and enable Catholic couples to be an effective witness in the world.

I don’t pretend to have the final and/or best answer to the serious challenges the Synod Fathers are facing. But I believe that the above represents a more authentic approach to merciful pastoral care than is being presented by some of the more progressive elements in the Synod.

In the meantime, if you would like to undergo your own marriage catechumenate and learn what it takes to fully and joyfully live the Catholic difference in your marriage, check out the all new, revised and expanded edition of For Better…FOREVER! A Catholic Guide to Lifelong Marriage, Just Married: The Catholic Guide to Surviving and Thriving in the First 5 Years of Marriage, and Holy Sex! The Catholic Guide to Toe-Curling, Mind-Blowing, Infallible Loving.

Sloth at the Synod? OR…Why Cardinal Johnny Can’t (be bothered to) Read

Posted on October 19, 2015 by GREG

Some years back, Rudolph Flesch wrote a book called, “Why Johnny Can’t Read” about the poor state of literacy among children. As I listen to the various conversations going on at the Synod on the Family in Rome, I wonder if Flesch could be persuaded to write a sequel for Catholic Cardinals and Archbishops.

During the synod, there have been many discussions about how to handle various challenges such as what can be done to help Catholics who have remarried after divorce without the benefit of an annulment. It is a vigorous discussion and while many people are expressing dark and foreboding concerns about what these conversations mean for the future of the Church, I’m trying hard to sit back and trust that the Holy Spirit knows what he is doing.

Sloth at the Synod?

And yet, there is at least one thing that could impede the Holy Spirit’s will from being done–sloth. As I point out in my book, Broken Gods: Hope, Healing and the Seven Longings of the Human Heart, sloth is not mere laziness. Rather, it is a distortion of the Divine Longing for Peace. When a person wants a conflict or injustice to just go away and, instead of addressing the problem in a forthright, honest manner, simply ignores the problem or takes the easy way out, he is committing the sin of sloth (aka “acedia”). Sloth is pursuing peace at the cost of justice. True peace, by contrast, is peace that results from authentic justice. It is, as Augustine put it, “Peace is the tranquility that results from right order.”

How does this tie into the Synod? Well, to be honest, I am concerned, by the appearance, at least, that so many of the synod fathers–progressives in particular– could seem to simply not be bothered to read anything written in the last 40 years on the spiritual significance of marriage. Their apparent simple ignorance (God forbid it would be willful ignorance) of things like the Theology of the Body and Pope St. John Paul II’s general writings on the spiritual dignity of marriage and the family life is stunning if not outright slothful. As Archbishop Chaput noted, Pope St. John Paul II wrote almost 2/3’s of everything the Church has ever produced on marriage and family life and how it relates to the Universal Call to Holiness. Why are so many of the Synod fathers–especially the progressives–speaking as if the last 40 years never happened? (Note: Prominent Catholic speaker Mary Beth Bonnacci has observed the same thing recently).

Bad Form

If I write a scholarly paper, or present at a professional conference, to have any credibility, I am required to familiarize myself with the most relevant literature on the subject. I don’t have to agree with it, but I need to know the arguments inside and out so that I can either support them with additional evidence or find holes and propose ways forward. What I can’t do is just pretend a whole body of articles just never got published and blithely ignore it. Theology, as the erstwhile “Queen of the Sciences” is supposed to work the same way.

I obviously have no idea what the Synod Fathers’ personal reading habits are and I trust that they are all learned men in their own way, but for the most part, the progressives’ interventions (especially) read as if they are still in reaction-formation to the manualist moral theology tradition where everything comes down to how far the collection of arbitrary rules can be stretched while still coloring, more or less, inside the lines. Much of what they write comes off as if they are completely ignorant of the last 40 years of theological reflection on the dignity of marriage and sexuality and the role both play in the universal call to holiness. When Cardinal Kasper can say that “heroism is not for the average Christian” and then be lauded by other prominent church leaders as he proposes ideas for damning the faithful with the soft clericalism of low expectations something is puzzling at best. Any proposals rooted in the idea that somehow the call to holiness isn’t universal cannot possibly be considered “spiritually rich.” Why? because such proposals would appear to not only be ignorant of the entire point of all St John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI’s writings on marriage and family (which were all about how marriage facilitates the Universal Call to Holiness) but they also stand in direct defiance of the entire point of Vatican II (which spelled out the idea of the Universal Call to Holiness in the first place).

Stop Insulting Married Couples

Why is this important? Well, especially in light of the recent, historic, twin canonization of St. Louis and Zelie Martin (the first married couple canonized together) the Synod Fathers really ought to be doing more to recognize the spiritual significance of marriage as God’s “little way of holiness” for the masses. God’s love for us is nuptial and God gives the world the gift of marriage to remind everyone of the kind of love he has in his heart for us; love that is free, total, faithful, and fruitful. When people struggle to live out this reality in their marriages, we must do whatever we can to support and assist them on making these ideals a reality in their life. But we can neither deny nor simply fudge the very existence of these ideals for anyone. It is not merciful to simply say “Well, these ideals don’t apply to the likes of you poor, unwashed lay people.” What it is is insulting and demeaning.

It’s Not About “The Rules”

The question isn’t “how close do we have to hew to the rules in order to still uphold a superficial sense of ‘Catholic marriage’ –whatever that is?” Rather, the question SHOULD be, “What are the best ways we can articulate the incredible spiritual power of marriage to be an instrument of sanctification and a sign to the world or God’s free, total, and faithful love while simultaneously supporting those who struggle to live that witness?”

For the last 40 years, both St. John Paul II and Pope Benedict wrote A LOT of really thought-provoking stuff on these questions. The fact that all of this writing seems to be being ignored is not only unbelievable, it also undermines the credibility of the Synod Fathers who seem to think so little of marriage and the family that they couldn’t be bothered to prepare to discuss the issues in the light of what’s been published on the topic in the last two generations.

To learn more about how YOU can experience all the joy of the Catholic vision of marriage, check out our book, Holy Sex! as well as the brand new, completely revised and expanded edition of For Better…FOREVER!