When is the prime time to start dating after a divorce? Rose Sweet, author of “Rebuilding after Divorce,” lays out the guidelines for starting a successful relationship after divorce.
How Do You Help Your Kids after a Divorce?
How do you help you kids after the trauma of a divorce? Rose Sweet, author of “Rebuilding after Divorce,” explains some simple but effective tips for doing so.
Is There Room In the Church for the Divorced Person?
Does the Church have a place for or even care about divorced personnel? Rose Sweet, author of “Rebuilding After Divorce,” affirms that yes, of course, the Church deeply loves and cares for those in a divorce.
Teaching Our Kids to Pray: Part II
In this video, Lisa Popcak, co-author of “Parenting with Grace,” continues to give advice on teaching your kids to pray.
Teaching Our Kids to Pray: Part I
How should you go about teaching your kids to pray? Lisa Popcak, co-author of “Parenting with Grace,” gives some practical steps for going about this in an effective manner.
CNN (!?!) Loves NFP
This article isn’t perfect, but the fact that its as good as it is and in CNN is a minor miracle. Nice to see the world is catching up with those of us who’ve been in the know since Humanae Vitae. Now if we 
could just get the Church to capitalize on this to start promoting our resources….
FAM is frequently referred to as the rhythm method — a system in which women predict their likely fertile days based on the lengths of their cycles. However, FAM advocates say there is a clear distinction. This method is much more careful.
Ilene Richman, director of the Fertility Awareness Center, describes it this way, “It’s a process of becoming aware of the signals your body is giving you and keeping track of them.”
Richman explained that after a women ovulates, her basal body temperature, the body’s lowest temperature throughout the day, would rise. In addition, “A woman who cycles naturally, is going to experience a wetness around the time of ovulation,” Richman says.
When women become more fertile, their bodies produce fluids that help give sperm their best chance at fertilizing the egg. Once a woman ovulates, the consistency of that fluid changes. A woman’s cervix will also change positions, based on whether or not she has ovulated.
Charting temperatures, noting fluid consistency, and checking cervix position can seem overwhelming at first. “I think it can be a little difficult to remember it all in the beginning, but it really isn’t that difficult,” explained Kacey. “Once you get it, you fall into a rhythm.”
The CDC and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists are quick to point out that FAM is one of the least-effective methods of birth control.
“You hear about 25%,1 in 4, who use it correctly can expect to get to get pregnant.” says Dr. Nathaniel DeNicola, an OBGYN with the University of Pennsylvania Health System.
Doctors: Think twice about the pill for teen birth control
But FAM supporters, such as Sarah Bly, a fertility awareness instructor, says that number needs to be parsed out further.
“The perfect use rate is 99.6%-99.4% which is really good,” Bly says. Meaning women who are very particular about keeping their health statistics and not missing even a single day. “A lot of statistics that (the doubters quote) are typical use, which include women taking risks,” Bly says.
A German study from 2007 that tracked 900 women over 20 years consistently using FAM methods found that only 2% of those women had an unintended pregnancy.
DeNicola agrees that it can work for some.
“For the right patient, who is really willing to track the days, and are willing to track the temperature,” he says. READ MORE
If you’d like more information on NFP and how you can celebrate a more grace-filled, passionate, joyful marital sexuality, check out Holy Sex! The Catholic Guide to Toe-Curling, Mind-Blowing, Infallible Loving. And don’t forget to visit the USCCB Office on Natural Family Planning.
Are Your Committing These 2 Relationship-Killing Habits?
When you have a conflict with your spouse or significant other, do you withdraw like a turtle into its shell? Or perhaps you expect your partner to be a mind reader about what ticks you off? Those are
Image Shutterstock. Used with permission.
two of the most common types of disengagement in relationships, and both can be harmful, but in different ways and for different reasons, says researcher Keith Sanford, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology and neuroscience in Baylor University’s College of Arts & Sciences.
Withdrawing when a partner criticizes or complains is “more characteristic of unhappiness. Just about everyone does that from time to time, but you see more of that in distressed relationships,” Sanford said.
The research showed that individuals were more likely to report withdrawal if they were bored, disinterested or apathetic. “There’s a desire to maintain autonomy, control and distance,” Sanford said.
Meanwhile, those who expected a partner to know what is wrong without being told are anxious, feeling neglected rather than threatened.
“You’re worried about how much your partner loves you, and that’s associated with neglect. You feel sad, hurt and vulnerable,” Sanford said.
Conflicts in which one partner expects the other to read minds were more likely to lead to negative communication and anger — and that can lead to a Catch-22.
“Often, you have one person who withdraws and the other demands. The more the one demands and complains, the more the other withdraws, and so on,” Sanford said.
“It’s an issue both of being aware of when these behaviors are occurring and of finding an alternative — a more constructive, polite approach to resolve conflict,” he said. “And at times, that’s easier said than done.”
For more tips on how you can effectively resolve conflict in your marriage, check out For Better…FOREVER! A Catholic Guide to Lifelong Marriage and When Divorce is NOT An Option: How to Heal Your Marriage and Nurture Lasting Love.
5 Signs YOU’RE Dealing with Toxic People
Although, as Christians, we are called to be charitable toward others, there are some relationships that we simply have to acknowledge are patently unhealthy. Certainly we can pray for healing, but we
Image Shutterstock. used with permission.
might need to do that from a distance!
Unfortunately, sometimes the least healthy relationships are the ones we’re most anxious about letting go! This article from PsychCentral can help you discern whether you’re in a toxic relationship with a poisonous person.
1. It seems like you can’t do anything right – The other person constantly puts you down as not good enough. They mock your personality, and you feel ashamed most of the time. You only feel pardoned when you take on the traits of the person doing the condemning or judging.
2. Everything is about them and never about you – You have feelings too, but the other person won’t hear them. You’re unable to have a two-sided conversation where your opinion is heard, considered, and respected. Instead of acknowledging your feelings, they battle with you until they get the last word.
3. You find yourself unable to enjoy good moments with this person – Every day brings another challenge. It seems as though they are always raising gripes about you. Their attempt to control your behavior is an attempt to control your happiness.
4. You’re uncomfortable being yourself around that person – You don’t feel free to speak your mind. You have to put on a different face just to be accepted by that person. You realize you don’t even recognize yourself anymore.
5. You’re not allowed to grow and change – Whenever you aim to grow and improve yourself, the other person responds with mockery and disbelief. There is no encouragement or support for your efforts. Instead, they keep you stuck in old judgments insisting that you will never be any different than you are now.
If you’re experiencing even just one of these signs, check in with yourself to see if the relationship is doing more damage than good. READ MORE
For more ideas on effectively dealing with the Toxic People in your life, check out God Help Me, These People are Driving Me Nuts! Making Peace with Difficult People
Spying or Parenting? How Much CAN You Check Up On Your Kids–And How?
CNN posted an article today asking if it’s OK to “spy” on your kids’ texts and posts to social media.
Photo via Shutterstock.com Used with permission
I’ve heard this question before and it always strikes me as odd. Generally speaking, I agree with the parent in the article who said, “It isn’t spying. It’s parenting.” But more than that, I think that we need to cultivate the kind of relationships in our families that make talking about and sharing our lives a natural thing. As a parent, why would I assume that my kid–even my teen–didn’t want to share something with me? Why would I assume that was “normal.” Open communication is the primary sign of a healthy relationship–ANY healthy relationship, including the relationship between parents and children. If your kids are not telling you things, then that, dear reader, is a problem that needs to be solved.
When Needing Space is Normal
Granted, everyone needs time to process certain things on their own. Sometimes we’re not immediately ready to talk about everything that happens to us. That’s fine. But even that should be dealt with openly. “I’m having a hard time with this situation at school, but I just need some time to think it through before we talk about it.” is a perfectly reasonable thing for a kid to say, but it still ought to be said. That’s how people in healthy relationships talk about healthy boundaries.
Returning to the article. I do think parents need to know their kids passwords and should feel free to read texts and posts to social media. But that’s not enough. If you don’t have the kind of relationship with your kids that makes talking about what they’re texting, to whom they’re texting, and what’s happening on Facebook seem like a perfectly natural thing, then there is a problem that needs to be addressed.
Parents: Exercise Rights–But Build Relationships
The upshot? Parents have the right to know what their kids are talking about and to whom they are talking. Parents shouldn’t feel bashful about expecting to know their kids passwords and exercising the right to read texts and social media posts–or listen in on conversations on the rare occasions their teens actually deign talk to other people. But parents shouldn’t think that this is enough. If your kids aren’t coming to you to share what they texted or posted with their friends. If you are having to make a special effort to find out for yourself what your kids are doing on digital and social media. Especially if you feel that reading your kids’ texts or posts is “spying” then Houston, we have a problem. Secretiveness and withholding is not the sign of a healthy, normal relationship between any group of people–not even parents and children. If your kids aren’t sharing what they’re texting and posting (or responding well to casual questions from you) as a natural part of their conversations with you about what’s going on in their lives, then that is a sign that something has caused a breakdown in trust. Perhaps you need to work on your reactions to what they share. Perhaps you need to adopt a more helpful attitude toward their needs and concerns. Perhaps they need to be encouraged that it is good and healthy to open up. Or perhaps there is some other issue. But there is an issue and it needs to be addressed.
In Evangelium Vitae, Pope St. John Paul the Great wrote that parents need to, “lead their children to authentic freedom, actualized in the sincere gift of self, and they cultivate in them respect for others, a sense of justice, cordial openness, dialogue, generous service, solidarity and all the other values which help people to live life as a gift.” Smart parents expect open communication and do everything they can to facilitate generous sharing within the family with both what happens in the real world and the digital world.
For more help creating greater openness and connection with your kids check out Parenting with Grace: The Catholic Parents’ Guide to Raising (almost) Perfect Kids!