Who Says, “I love you” First? Men or Women?

Chances are, if asked, most people would say that women are more likely to say, “I love you” first in a relationship.  New research challenges this stereotype.  According to Dr. Gary Lewandowski at the Science of Relationships Blog...

In a survey of 171 people, researchers confirmed that most (over 70%) believe women fall in love first and are quicker to say “I love you” compared to men. However, the survey also found that the stereotype is WRONG. In reality, men fell in love more quickly than women and were also the first to say “I love you.”  This is a great example of why research needs to test “common sense” assumptions about relationships.

Harrison, M. A., & Shortall, J. C. (2011). Women and men in love: Who really feels it and says it first?. The Journal of Social Psychology, 151(6), 727-736. doi:10.1080/00224545.2010.522626

I agree with Dr. Lewandowski.  I was the first to say, “I love you” in my relationship with Lisa.  This also tends to be true for most of my friends and, I think, the majority of men seeking a serious relationship.  To be completely honest, I think its time we as Catholics–in particular–did more to challenge the “all men are dogs” trope that our culture peddles.  I think Christians, especially, do a disservice to men when we teach that “being a man” means being an insensitive, sex-obsessed, relationally-impaired idiot. There is much more to masculinity than pop-psych and pop-theology would have most people believe.

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