40 Days to a Better Marriage Tip of the Day, Wed 3/13: Remember Your Spouse!

We are busy with so many things.  Too often, we lack what psychologists call,  “object permanence.”  We walk out the door and our loved ones “disappear.”  We forget our spouse and kids (and they forget us) until we see each other again later that evening, but sometimes we are still to distracted to really connect.  Today, remember your spouse while you are apart.  Do something thoughtful to reach across the chasm.    Pick up some flowers.  Write a little note.  Do that thoughtful task that would make your spouse’s day a little easier.  Give your mate a call to say, “I love you.”  Just because.  Remember your spouse and remind each other that you matter–even when you’re apart.

——For the next 40 days, M2L will offer a tip-a-day for improving your marriage. For more help creating an exceptional marriage, contact the Pastoral Solutions Institute to learn more about Catholic tele-counseling services. 740-266-6461.  And Check out more great marriage-building ideas in For Better…FOREVER!  A Catholic Guide to Lifelong Marriage.

Coming Wed on M2L Radio: Driven to Distraction

COMING WED on M2L:  Driven to Distraction–We all live hectic lives but the Theology of the Body reminds us to take time to focus on the important things; relationship, our marriage, our family, being present to the people in our lives. Today we’ll focus on getting control of the distractions that get in the way of us choosing “the better part.”  We’ll offer tips for getting your priorities in order and focusing your mind on the things that matter.  Call in from Noon-1pm E (11am-Noon C) at 877-573-7825.  We can’t wait to talk with you!

Don’t forget to answer our M2L FB Questions of the Day:  (Two-Fer!  Answer one or both…) 1.  What are the things that stop you from being as present as you would like to the people in your life? 2. If your eliminate one distraction in your life, what would it be?

—Listen to More2Life live weekdays from Noon-1pm E (11am-Noon C).  Can’t get M2L on a Catholic radio station near you?    Tune in live online at www.avemariaradio.net,  listen via our FREE AveMariaRadio IPhone or Android App (Check your app store!), or catch the M2L Podcast!

He Blinded Me with Science Part… the Third: The Final Chapter

The conversation continues…

I know… I know… different 80’s science reference. But how often will I get a chance to use this pic on a Catholic blog?

BOB:  “I’m asking for evidence for this remarkable claim”  (that Christian cosmology is necessary for science).

Dr. Greg: You mean other than the entire academic discipline of the history of science?  I’m afraid you’ve got me there.   Start with Stanley Jaki’s foundational book, “The Savior of Science.”  Columbia University has a brief summary of some of his major points here.

BOB:  “I’ve read this claim from other Christian thinkers, but I didn’t find their claims any better defended.”

Dr. Greg:  Not sure what you mean.  The history of science and epistemology aren’t primarily the purview of Christian thinkers.  How much reading have you done in either field?

BOB:  “I don’t see what’s special here. Couldn’t you and I brainstorm and come up with a dozen make-believe religions that also satisfied your need for a cosmology that presents an orderly universe?”

Dr. Greg:  We could, but you’re asking me to indulge in a fantasy. There are a million scenarios that we could conjure up in our fantasies, but I’m asking you to stick to how science actually came to be.  It has a story.  A real story.   You should get to know it.  That’s not a dig.  I mean it.  Someone in your position needs to know this stuff.  History shows that  science, as a sustained, systematic, enterprise was not a gift from the Flying Spaghetti Monster.  It was a gift of Christianity, and specifically, the Catholic Church.

BOB:  “…Just don’t go into science with a religious presupposition.”

G:  Tell that to these dudes.    Bob, I do understand that it is an inconvenient truth, but science is, in fact, founded almost entirely on religious presupposition. You’re flirting dangerously close to scientism.   http://carbon.ucdenver.edu/~mryder/scientism_este.html

BOB:  “And what happens when there’s a conflict between science and scripture?”

G:  Your fundamentalist slip is showing again.   Christianity is more than the bible.  This particular objection has never been an issue for traditional Christians.   20th Century American fundamentalists?  Sure.  Traditional Christians?  Never.  And in anticipation of your Gallileo objection

BOB:  “People are inquisitive and they found that an accurate understanding of the world led to progress. Where’s the puzzle?”

G:  So, “Science happens.”  THAT’s your argument?  Here’s the problem.  Science doesn’t just happen. That’s your 21st Century Western Christ-haunted bias talking.   I will grant that science tried to happen many times throughout human history but until Christianity came along it did not have the fertile soil it needed (Christian cosmology), a systematic way of conducting it (Bacon’s Scientific Method), the institutional structure to support its growth (monasteries) and a comprehensive means of communicating itself (the Church’s development of the university system).

With that, I do think I’ve done the best I can.  I hope at least some of my comments have given you food for thought.  I’ll give you the last word.  I genuinely appreciate the opportunity to thoughtfully engage these issues with you.  Hopefully, we’ll have a chance to do it again.   God Bless!

He Blinded Me With Science Part Deux: Just when you thought it was safe to leave God out of the lab…

The conversation continues…

Bob:  Christianity is a newcomer. Agriculture, metalworking, and the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World preceded it, for example.   You’re simply noting the confluence of Christianity and science. What I need is cause. That it happened to be the meme at the time doesn’t give us cause.   For example, Isaac Newton was a Christian. Good thing, because his Cambridge position required a particular statement of faith. To say, “Take a look at the great scientists of the last 500 years—mostly Christian!” gives us nothing to argue that Christianity was the cause.   I can think of no science that came from the Bible. There are lots of retrospective insertions of science into the Bible, but never the cause. It didn’t even have a recipe for soap!

Dr. Greg:   If I understand your point, you’re basically saying correlation isn’t causation.  I agree with that.  But I’m saying much more than that. My argument is not “lots of Christians happened to be scientists, therefore science is Christian.” That would be an absurd tautology.  My argument is that a Christian cosmology is the intellectual soil that allowed the seeds of science (that popped up here and there but were largely choked out or ignored in other cultures) to germinate and thrive.  I would encourage you to read up on the history of science and epistemology.  Choose any secular source on either.  If you do, you’ll get a better sense of what I’m saying.

Regardless, I just need to be clear that I am not advancing a theological argument. That wouldn’t make sense in this context. I am advancing what is largely accepted to be true as far as most, secular historians of science are concerned.  The facts are what they are. I can respect your rejection of religion, but surely you aren’t an a-historian too?  😉

In reference to your point about the bible, I’m honestly surprised by your fundamentalism. Do you really mean to say that because you can’t find the word “physics” in the bible then that settles it?    I happily agree the bible is not a scientific document and is chock-full of bad science.   That’s not the point.   My argument has nothing to do with any of that.  My argument is that the bible presents a cosmology that gets the mind thinking about an orderly universe that functions according to pre-designed rhythms.  This mindset is not present in other religious traditions.   Likewise, the bible establishes that God is knowable through his creation (a uniquely Christian concept) and establishes a Church to facilitate the accumulation of that knowledge about him.  That means that the seeds of science not only have the fertile soil of Christian cosmology to rest in, they have an institution dedicated to watering and nurturing the plant that springs up because it sees that plant as a means of understanding God.   And that is exactly how history shows science, as a sustained human enterprise, came to be.

Your argument appears to be that science emerged from its own head as an uncaused cause.  That strikes me as an oddly theistic argument for an atheist to make.   Can you present your understanding of the history of how science came to be?  I think that would be helpful.  In fact, I think it would be necessary if you really want to support your argument.  I’m not asking what your opinion is.  I’m asking what is your understanding of how science actually came to exist as a flourishing, sustained human enterprise.  I would need to understand your vision of this before I could continue the conversation further.

At any rate,  thanks for the opportunity to discuss this.  It’s a great topic and I hope we have the opportunity to cross swords in the future.  Peace.

Catholics and Protestants Look for Different Skills in their Counselors.

A few years ago, I published a study examining the different attitudes religiously committed Catholics and Protestants had toward counseling.  In particular, I was curious, considering the number of Catholics who go to generically “Christian” counselors, if Catholics were being well-served by Protestant counselors.  The study revealed some interesting results.  In a survey of over a 1000 respondents drawn from every diocese in the US, it was shown that, given the choice, religiously committed Catholics would prefer to go to a Catholic counselor than a Protestant one.  Likewise, the study showed that Protestants and Catholic want different things from their counselors.

For religiously committed Protestants, the most important counselor competency was “Scriptural Knowledge.”  While both religiously committed Catholics and Protestants wanted therapists who were aware of Christian approaches to treating problems related to marriage, parenting, depression, anxiety, and drug and alcohol abuse.  Catholics strongly preferred therapists who were also expert at secular treatments to the same.  In other words, religiously committed Catholics, much more than religiously committed Protestants, would prefer to go to a therapist who was both a well-formed professional and knew how to integrate Christian approaches into that professional framework.  Religiously committed Protestants prefered therapists who eschewed secular approaches to treating problems and concentrated on Biblical and Christian treatments only.

Additionally, Catholics wanted a therapist who had knowlege of moral theology, issues related to Christian views of marriage, annulment, and divorce, issues related to larger families and stay-at-home moms, and natural family planning.

In the end, the study showed that compare to religiously committed Protestants, religiously committed Catholics valued 11 different competencies from their counselors than Protestants did.  The breakdown is below.  The upshot is that Catholics really do expect–and deserve–something very different from their counselors.

 

Counselor Competencies Valued More Highly By Protestants

Competency                           % Prot    % Cath

1. Scriptural Knowledge           75.4       60.6

 

Counselor Competencies Valued More Highly By Catholics

Competency                                  % Prot  %  Cath

1. Natural Family Planning         14.9       62.7

2. Christian moral teaching**      83.6       90.3

3. Issues related to families

w/Stay-at-home mothers             44.6       60.5

4. Christian Views on divorce,

annulment, and remarriage         62.6       74.2

5. Issues with large families         23.2       50.9

6.  Developments in general

counseling theory/practice.         34.9       49.7

7. General school probs.               41.0       61.2

8. Gen Approaches

to parenting                                     44.1       56.9

9. Gen. Approaches to

Drg & Alc. Treatment                    34.8      47.4

10. Gen. Approaches to

Treating Depression                       52.8      64.2

11. Gen Approaches to

Treating Anxiety &Stress.            50.2      64.0

40 Days to a Better Marriage Tip of the Day, Tuesday 3/12: Make a Decision to Love

We’ve all heard that love is a decision.  Today put that notion into practice.  Imagine the day ahead and the time you will spend with your spouse.  Identify two things that you can do all on your own (i.e., don’t require your spouse’s cooperation or input) that would set the tone for a more loving day.  Will you give her the TV remote?  Make him a nicer-than-usual dinner? Do the dishes without being asked?  Wear that outfit he likes?  Be more patient with those mildly annoying habits?  How will you make a decision to love…today?

——For the next 40 days, M2L will offer a tip-a-day for improving your marriage. For more help creating an exceptional marriage, contact the Pastoral Solutions Institute to learn more about Catholic tele-counseling services. 740-266-6461.  And Check out more great marriage-building ideas in For Better…FOREVER!  A Catholic Guide to Lifelong Marriage.

He Blinded Me with Science: Conversations with an Atheist on The Christian Roots of Reason and Science

Over at the Atheist blog, Cross Examined, Bob Seidensticker, posted an article that examines the debt secular society owes to Christianity.  Last night, Bob and I agreed to attempt a respectful “interfaith” discussion about various topics, beginning with a look at the relationship between Christianity and the roots of science and reason.   Here is the first exchange in that discussion.

Bob:   (Here’s) a popular article argues that all of us—atheists, too—owe a great debt to Christianity. It grounds the stable Western society that we take for granted. (Or does it?)

Dr. Greg:  Interesting.  Rodney Stark, a prominent sociologist of religion (an agnostic last I saw) argues in, The Victory of Reason, that the West owes its reliance on reason, itself, to Christianity.  It’s a pretty audacious claim, but his argument is that in order to engage in scientific inquiry at all, you have to believe in an orderly universe in the first place which is impossible unless you believe in a God who not only creates, but agrees to live by the rules of his own creation.  If I believe in tree spirits, for example, who’s to say that tree would decide to be in the same place tomorrow?  What could I possibly gain by studying it? The inquiry might even be offensive. Likewise, if I believe in a capricious god who would/could do anything at any time, it would never even occur to me to ask the kinds of questions science asks because it would never even dawn on me that such questions could be answered (hence the lack of significant, sustained,  scientific inquiry in traditional and eastern cultures.  History shows that science happens in these cultures,  but only in fits and starts and not as a sustained enterprise).  The Christian God however, not only created the universe, but wedded himself to his creation eternally (Christians believe that Jesus Christ is eternally human and divine and has “divinized” creation through the incarnation), so while God could do whatever he wants in theory, he has made a covenant with creation to play by his own rules in order  that we may know him better by studying his fingerprints on creation, which is a reflection of him.  Science and reason are made possible because suddenly it occurs to me that I can learn something about God by studying nature,  because not only did God make the universe, but he made it in his image, unites himself eternally to it (so now I can understand something about his inner life as well (i.e., the doctrine of the trinity) by studying creation), and abides by the rules of his own creation (except in those very rare instances we call miracles–which are the exceptions that prove the rule).  Stark makes an interesting case that I really can’t do justice here.  It’s a good read though.

Bob: Or, you could not have any supernatural presupposition and just follow the scientific facts about the natural world where they point. Do the fundamental axioms (that is, those that we can’t derive from still-more-fundamental laws) have to be taken on faith? Of course not—we test them. If we found an exception to 1 + 1 = 2 (“Dang! We forgot to test it on avocados, and it doesn’t seem to work for them.”) then we’d incorporate that exception.

“if I believe in a capricious god who would/could do anything at any time”

Yes, a consistent god does seem to be important. But I’m not sure you have it with the Christian god. Some Christians (perhaps not you) will use human analogies to God as a teacher or parent. God is more loving, just, reliable, etc. than any human. But when it comes to difficult issues (God’s demand of genocide or his support for slavery, for example), then suddenly there are exceptions and God follows his own rules. God isn’t good by example, so he becomes good by definition.

“hence the lack of significant, sustained, scientific inquiry in traditional and eastern cultures.”

The West is at the top of the pyramid at the moment, but let’s not get too cocky. Before the Enlightenment, the Islamic Golden Age made Christian Europe look pretty primitive. And before that, you’ve got paper, gunpowder, printing, etc. from China. I’m sure you can think of other examples. I don’t see anything about Christianity particularly laudable that made Europe unique in a positive way for science.

I’d be more impressed with Christian’s support for science if we got anything of a technical or scientific nature out of the Bible.

“he has made a covenant with creation to play by his own rules in order that we may know him better by studying his fingerprints on creation, which is a reflection of him”

Is this theology or science? That is: do you have evidence of this or is this just what you believe?

“Science and reason are made possible because suddenly it occurs to me that I can learn something about God by studying nature”

How would this world look different if there *weren’t* a god behind it? That is, how can we tell that your statement is correct?

Dr. Greg:  Thanks for those thoughts.  We’re off to a good start.  Just to clarify, I’m just paraphrasing Stark’s argument, not asserting anything original.   That said, the problem that I have with your argument is that you’re presupposing a naturalistic, atheistic origin of science which is simply not supported by the history of science.  It certainly could have happened the way you said, but it didn’t.  Unless I’m misunderstanding you, you seem to be missing the basic question which is how does it dawn on someone to ask scientific questions–and more importantly, develop a system of sustained,scientific thought- in the first place?   I agreed with you in my original post that different cultures rooted in different religious traditions besides Christianity made discrete, scientific discoveries, but the scientific method, itself–the vey process that makes sustained scientific inquiry possible–was invented by Christians (Francis Bacon and William of Occam were both Franciscan friars) and promoted by Christians  (the majority of the scientific disciplines, from genetics to stratigraphy were founded by priests).  Why?  Because Christian epistemology believes as I described above and the naturalistic view you champion is dependent upon those presuppositions, not the other way around.  History shows this to be true.     On a side note, One thing you and I are going to have in common is that I don’t care much for what “some Christians say.”   Lots of people say plenty of idiotic things but that doesn’t make their views representative of anything, or for that matter, accurate.  As a Catholic Christian, I’ll be arguing from that dataset.   I appreciated your comments.  Thank you for the opportunity to kick these ideas around with you.

Bob:  “the problem that I have with your argument is that you’re presupposing a naturalistic, atheistic origin of science”

Not by my understanding of the word “presuppose.” That’s certainly where the evidence points, but I’m open to contrary evidence.

“you seem to be missing the basic question which is how does it dawn on someone to ask scientific questions”   Actually, I’m missing why this points to Christianity.

“Why? Because Christian epistemology believes as I described above and the naturalistic view you champion is dependent upon those presuppositions”

You need to answer the last question in my previous comment: How would this world look different if there *weren’t* a god behind it?

Dr. Greg: Bob, you’ll probably think this is ironic, but I can’t answer the question because you’re asking me to indulge in a fantasy.  Answering , “How would this world look different if there *weren’t* a god behind it?”  is irrelevant because the historical record does not support the idea that science evolves in an atheistic context. I’m concerned with facts here; the actual history of science.   Science can certainly be done with an atheistic mindset, of course it can, but only if that atheist accepts–unwittingly–the Christian cosmological mindset that asserts that the universe is orderly in the first place.   The idea that the universe is orderly is not supported merely by experience.  Mere observation would lead most objective people to believe that the universe is chaotic and unknowable, and that’s exactly what pre-Christian history shows.  The idea that the universe is orderly and possible to study in a systematic way is an idea rooted in Christian revelation.  Not mere reason.

 

I’ll post more as/if it develops.

Coming Tues on More2Life Radio: Decisions, Decisions…

COMING TUES:  DECISIONS, DECISIONS– As the Cardinals meet today to begin deciding who will be our next Pope, we reflect those difficult decisions in our own lives.  We’ll look at those times when its hard to know we’re making the best choice, how to avoid “paralysis by analysis”, and how to be more confident in the big and small decisions you make every day.  Call in from Noon-1pm E (11am-Noon C) at 877-573-7825.

Don’t forget to answer the M2L FB question of the day:  1)  Describe your decision-making style. 2)  When is it hardest to feel confident about a decision you have to make?

—Listen to More2Life live weekdays from Noon-1pm E (11am-Noon C).  Can’t get M2L on a Catholic radio station near you?    Tune in live online at www.avemariaradio.net,  listen via our FREE AveMariaRadio IPhone or Android App (Check your app store!), or catch the M2L Podcast!

40 Day to A Better Marriage, Monday 3/11: 4 Steps to Becoming a Mindful Spouse

A good marriage is a mindful marriage.  Today, I’m encouraging you to do something small to cultivate a spirit of mindfulness  in your marriage.  Step one?  Read this Faith on the Couch post on what mindfulness is and how it can be a blessing to you life. 

Step Two:  Think about the way you react to your spouse.  Choose one of those less pleasant reactions and ask yourself how you would like to respond instead.  Assume that you would feel just as irritated, annoyed, or frustrated as ever, but you could choose to channel that negative emotion into a healthier, more compassionate response.  What would that response be.

Step Three:  Imagine yourself successfully doing this new thing.  Ask God for the grace to follow through.

Step Four:  Keep practicing.  Mastering your reactions takes time, but the effort will result in a better you and a better marriage.  Keep trying and refining your effort in prayer.

It’s ok to get irritated with your spouse sometimes, but being mindful about how we respond when we’re irritated can spell the difference between being a marriage master…or a marriage disaster.

——For the next 40 days, M2L will offer a tip-a-day for improving your marriage. For more help creating an exceptional marriage, contact the Pastoral Solutions Institute to learn more about Catholic tele-counseling services. 740-266-6461.  And Check out more great marriage-building ideas in For Better…FOREVER!  A Catholic Guide to Lifelong Marriage.

The Mindful Catholic

“Mindfulness” is a quality psychologists define as the ability to be (1) present in the moment and (2) consciously able to choose the best response out of a number of emotional possibilities.  Mindfulness is the opposite of being reactive.  For instance, if my kid was getting on my nerves and I was being reactive, I would feel angry and yell at him  But if my kid was getting on my nerves and I was being mindful, I would feel angry, be aware of that anger, and be able to decide whether this was a time that was better served by yelling (there are times…) or by doing something else (e.g., redirecting, gently correcting, etc.)  Where reactivity is emotion that is automatically and necessarily translated into action, mindfulness is awareness of my emotions that leads to awareness of possible responses and conscious action.

Mindfulness has been associated with better emotional, relational, and spiritual health and an important source of a healthy self-image (because it facilitates self-control and peacefulness).

Some Catholics who are aware of mindfulness have concerns about it because most psychological writing on mindfulness comes out of a Buddhist tradition.  Buddhism is attractive to psychologists because it is an a-theistic religion (i.e., the belief in God is optional for Buddhists, who are chiefly concerned with personal enlightenment).  Be that as it may, Catholics have been practicing their own form of mindfulness for 2000 years only we call it, “active contemplation.”

Contemplation is a kind of Christian prayer that helps us achieve greater intimacy with God, greater awarness of what God is saying to us, and greater clarity of how God wants us to respond.  “Active contemplation” is the ability to use the mundane tasks of everyday life to this end. To be actively contemplative allows me to see the guy cutting me off in traffic as a metaphor for God’s patience with me when I cross him and a call to greater develop greater patience with others in return.  To be actively contemplative allows me to hear God giving me advice about a situation I’ve been praying about–through the mouth of my 7 year old who is talking about some completely unrelated thing.  to be actively contemplative means having the self-possession to feel one way, but be able to choose the better way despite those feelings.  To be actively contemplative means to be able to feel depressed, or anxious, or angry and see that acting on those feelings is not in my best interest and be able to choose to do something else.

Cultivating mindfulness is, for the Catholic, an important skill for spiritual, emotional, and relational well-being.

Question:  When are you most able to be mindful and what makes it possible?  What do you see as the biggest challenge to your attempts to practice mindful, active contemplation?