Overcoming Negativity

Posted on March 29, 2017 by GREG

Fighting negativity is a constant battle. We live in a world full of inspirational quotes and Instagram captions about positivity, and while these can be helpful, they are not the only—and maybe not even the best—way to truly overcome negativity.

Theology of the Body helps us challenge negativity by reminding us of who we truly a
re and what we are called to become through God’s grace. Negativity traps us in our fallen selves, making us believe that the broken person we see when we look in the mirror is all we are and all we can ever be. TOB allows us to acknowledge the work that needs to be done but gives us the blueprint to imagine what our lives can look like if we keep allowing God to do that work in our hearts and in our world. The Theology of the Body helps us rediscover the freedom the negativity seeks to rob us of; the freedom to cooperate with God’s grace to become what we are; whole, healed, godly, grace-filled sons and daughters of God.

Here are three More2Life hacks for overcoming negativity:

1. Don’t Be Positive–The cure for negative thinking is NOT positive thinking. In reality, positive thinking almost always fails to produce effective results because it seems false–and it is. Just like negative thinking tends to strain out anything good, positive thinking doesn’t allow us to acknowledge the real problems that need to be addressed. You can’t just ignore your way out of your problems by putting a smiley-face sticker on them. So what IS the cure for negativity? HELPFUL THINKING. Ask yourself, “What would be the most helpful way to look at this situation?” In other words, how could you look at the present situation in a way that would help you find both the resources and motivation to formulate the most productive course of action? Helpful thinking avoids the pitfalls of both negative and artificially positive thinking, giving you a way of keeping your situation in perspective while figuring out the best way forward.

2. Embrace your Freedom–We often use negativity as a way of escaping from freedom. We’re afraid to do something about our situation because we might fail, or we don’t want to deal with the consequences of making a choice so instead of praying for the courage to act in the most godly and productive way possible, we tell ourselves there’s nothing we can do,” the situation is doomed,” “we are hopeless,” “they’ll never change,” “why bother trying?” All of these lies deny the truth that no one can ever take away our God-given freedom to act. There is always some small change we can make and if we can bring those small changes to God, he can multiply our efforts just like He multiplied the loaves and fishes. Escaping negativity means categorically rejecting the lie of powerlessness and embracing the freedom God gives to all of his children, a freedom that allows us to choose to cooperate with grace no matter what our circumstances.

3. Do SOMETHING. Negativity is paralyzing. To fight back. Do SOMETHING DIFFERENT. Even if you aren’t sure it will really make a difference, acting at all–especially if it is something you haven’t done before–is better than staying stuck. The good news? Every step you take gives you new information that leads to new possibilities and those new possibilities will destroy negativity once and for all.

For more information on how to conquer negativity in your life check out Broken Gods: Hope, Healing, and the Seven Longings of the Human Heart and tune in to More2Life, weekdays at 10am E/9am C, on EWTN Radio Network/Sirius XM 139. Or, give us a call at Pastoral Solutions Institute!

3 Ways To Guarantee You’ll Be Your Spouse’s BFF

Posted on March 20, 2017 by GREG

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Many people question whether husbands and wives should expect to be each other’s best friends. Spouses are often faced with difficulties throughout their lives and marriage, so how can they still be best friends with one another? While it may come as a surprise to some, over 83% of married couples report being best friends with each other.

Pope St. John Paul the Great’s Theology Of The Body calls couples to recall the original unity–the remarkable best friendship–our First Parents enjoyed before the fall. While many couples, today think that men and women aren’t supposed to even expect to be each other’s best friends, the Church is clear that that is exactly what God created men and women to be. Adam’s exclamation, “At last, this is flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone!” was, according to St. John Paul, an acknowledgement that Adam and Eve saw, in each other, two people who could truly “get” each other. Through God’s grace, they enjoyed “the peace of the interior gaze” that allowed them to share the deepest part of themselves with each other without fear or need to hold back at all. Since the Fall, because of our tendencies to self-protection, selfishness, and fear of vulnerability, this level of friendship can be challenging, but that is what the grace of a sacramental marriage is intended to empower couples to enjoy. Our efforts to cooperate with that grace allow husbands and wives to be witnesses to the love God has for the world and the friendship he desires with each of us.

Here are three simple More2Life Hacks you can use to guarantee you’ll be your spouse’s BFF,

1. Take Care–Being your spouse’s best friend begins with finding little ways to take care of each other every day. Happy couples look for little ways to make each other’s day easier or more pleasant, they look for opportunities to stay in touch throughout the day with “I love you” texts and short calls to check in. Being your spouse’s best friend doesn’t require tons of money for elaborate dates or huge swaths of time to connect in deeply meaningful ways. It means making the point of using this present moment–even the moments you are apart–to reach out to each other and connect in some loving way; offering a thoughtful act of service, a friendly call or text, leaving a short romantic note or other loving token of affection, an offer of prayerful support. These little efforts make a big difference in how much you and your spouse can feel like each other’s friends.

2. Date Everyday–Date nights are wonderful, but they usually can’t happen often enough and they aren’t the panacea people make them out to be. Couples who are real best friends don’t save their relationship for date night. They date every day, making little appointments to work, play, talk, and pray together every day–even for five minutes at a time. Making daily dates to do the dishes together, take a short walk or play a hand of cards, take a little time for couple prayer, and make a point of talking about something other than just the chores goes a long way toward maintaining the little connections that make being best friends possible.

3. Enjoy Little Adventures–Research shows that couples who feel like best friends make a point of trying new things together. They are open to participating in each other’s interests–even when they don’t personally enjoy the same things to the same degree. Couples who are best friends practice the notion that the activity they do together isn’t the point. Rather, the activity is just an opportunity to be together, to share something with each other, and maybe to learn something about each other. The new things you try don’t have to be expensive or time consuming. Make a meal together and try a new recipe. Play a new game. Explore a different part of the neighborhood. Try out something your spouse enjoys but you aren’t so sure about–and keep an open mind and friendly attitude about it. The point is, couples who are best friends look for little adventures to share that enable them to take their friendship in new directions.

For more information on how to be best friends with your spouse, check out For Better…Forever! A Catholic Guide to Lifelong Marriage and make sure to tune in to More2Life, weekdays 10am E/9am C on EWTN Global Catholic Radio/Sirius XM 139.

More2Life Hack: Living A More Joyful Life

Posted on March 8, 2017 by GREG

image via shutterstock

It seems as though so many things in life are constantly trying to steal our joy. From politics, to work stress, to the craziness of daily life, it can be hard to find the joy in each day.

We tend to think that joy is a product of stepping away from life and finding little ways to take a break or enjoy ourselves. Taking breaks can be important, but while doing this can lead to fleeting moments of happiness, it doesn’t lead to joy. The Theology of the Body reminds us that Joy is the fruit of living a meaningful, intimate, and virtuous life. Joy is that quality that allows us to have a deeper sense of rightness and contentment about our lives even when things are a little crazy or not going the way we’d like. Because Joy is a FRUIT of the Holy Spirit, you can’t pursue Joy directly. Cultivating joy means dedicating oneself to a life of meaningfulness, intimacy, and virtue regardless of our circumstances.

Here are three More2Life Hacks for cultivating joy in your heart:

1. Keep the Big Picture in Mind–Joy requires us to be able to step out of the chaos of everyday life and remember who we are and what’s important. This requires us to stay connected to God–to be able to see things from his point of view. Find ways to bring the present moment to God no matter how crazy it is. Ask him, “What do you want this moment to look like? How can I respond to this in a way that glorifies you?” Then re-engage the situation from this more graceful perspective. Keeping the big picture in mind helps you remain connected to what’s important

2. Be Kind–True joy comes from seeking little ways to be a gift to others all day long. As you go about your day, consciously ask yourself how you can make a difference in this moment? Is there something you can do to make this person’s day even a little easier or more pleasant? Is there something you can do to take down the tension in this situation? Is there some way you can surprise someone with a small thoughtful gesture or little act of service? You don’t have to be a martyr about it. In fact, it’s better if you aren’t. Just look for those little ways to be a gift or create caring connection while you’re passing by or passing through. These little acts of kindness increase your joy by helping you see all the ways you are making a positive difference in your world and in the lives of those around you.

3. Stay In School–Research shows that joyful people are eager students in the “school of life.” Joyful people are always open to seeing things from a new perspective, trying a new experience, and growing in ways that help them be stronger, healthier, more well-rounded people. Joyful people aren’t shy about sharing what they like. They know who they are and what they stand for, but they are open to discovering all the ways God is revealing himself to them through the people and the world around them. And the more ways we open ourselves to this experience of God the more his grace makes us joyful. So, be yourself, but don’t be afraid to be more, learn more and grow more.

For more information on how to live a more Joyful life, check out my book Broken Gods: Hope, Healing, and the Seven Longings of the Human Heart, or give us a call at Pastoral Solutions Institute (740.266.6461)

Don’t forget to tune in to More2Life, weekdays at 10am E/9am C on EWTN Global Catholic Radio/SiriusXM 130.

3 Simple Ways Stop Blaming And Start Reclaiming Your Power in Grace

Posted on March 2, 2017 by GREG

In today’s world, placing blame is easier than ever. Outlets such as the news and social media allow us to say “it’s their fault!” without a second thought. Because of this, placing blame on others—or even yourself—is a trap that is all too easy to fall into. However, figuring out “who’s to blame” is not an effective way to heal the hurtful situations in our lives.

In Love and Responsibility, Pope JPII spoke of “responsibility” as a basic and inalienable human freedom that gives us the ability to choose to work for our good and the good of others no matter what. In a sense, despite the fact that we live in a broken, fallen world, filled with broken, fallen people, no one and nothing can ever take away our ability to respond in godly ways that work for our good and the good of others. No one can take away this ability to respond to our circumstances UNLESS WE SURRENDER IT OURSELVES and one of the most common ways we do this is by blaming. When we blame, we turn other people or our circumstances into idols that are more powerful than God’s grace working in us and giving us the ability to do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

Here are three More2Life Hacks that will help you stop blaming and start reclaiming your power in grace!

1. Don’t Blame Yourself–Overcoming the temptation to blame others isn’t an invitation to start blaming yourself. The first step to reclaiming your power over blaming is to stop trying to figure out whose fault it is and just start solving the problem. Assigning blame–whether to others or yourself–won’t change reality. Only the next steps you take will. The only question that matters is, “What are YOU going to DO about it NOW?”

2. Adopt A Supernatural Perspective–We often blame others when we feel powerless or afraid. Saying that our circumstances are someone else’s fault allows us to avoid acting in ways that might be necessary, but are scary or unpleasant–especially when we aren’t sure we can do it. This is the time to remember St Thomas Aquinas’ maxim, “Grace builds on nature.” Instead of saying, “I CAN’T.” Remind yourself of St Paul’s words, “I have the strength for everything through Christ who empowers me.” First, ask God what he wants you to do to start making a positive difference in your situation. Second, ask him for the grace to make up for everything you feel you lack. Finally, do the thing that challenges both you and the people around you to be your best selves and let God’s grace flow through your actions.

3. Accept The Invitation–Surrendering the tendency to blame means accepting God’s invitation to grow in strength and wisdom. When we stop blaming–ourselves or others–we embrace the changes God wants to make in us and through us; changes that WILL lead to us closer to becoming our whole, healed, godly, grace-filled selves and living more abundant lives. All of God’s children receive this invitation. Have the courage to accept it and let God make you a witness to the amazing things he can create with imperfect people and imperfect situations

For more information on how to accept and embrace God’s grace in your life, tune in to More2Life, weekdays at 10am E/9am C on EWTN Global Catholic Radio, and check out my book Broken Gods: Hope, Healing, and the Seven Longings of the Human Heart.

More2Life Hacks—Bouncing Back from Tough Times in Marriage

Posted on February 23, 2017 by GREG

Image via shutterstock. Used with permission

It’s all too easy to get caught up in the various problems we all experience in marriage Sometimes, we can get so focused on the problems that we think things will never be different. Here are three More2Life Hacks that will help you bounce back from tough times in your marriage and re-experience the love and joy you crave!

1. Check your Commitment–Happy couples know that recovering from marital struggles starts with being even more committed to their vows than they are to each other. What do I mean? At various points, even the happiest husbands and wives become frustrated with each other and can feel like their spouse is undeserving of their commitment. But where less happy couples use this as a justification for withdrawing their love and entertaining thoughts of divorce, happy couples remind themselves that their commitment is to their marriage, itself, even more than to their feelings for their spouse. This allows couples to not catastrophize their problems and, instead, get to work on the problems. Research shows that couples who make this greater commitment to their marriage bounce back from problems more quickly and are happier overall, than couples who regularly allow tough times to call their overall commitment to each other into question.

2. Re-Engage Through Care-taking–Every couple gets stuck in arguments from time to time–even for extended periods. But happy couples know that sometimes they have to disengage from the fight and find little ways to remind each other of their love for each other BEFORE re-engaging the discussion. While struggling couples either adopt a “fight til we die” approach or simply give up the fight from exhaustion, happier couples adopt a pattern that allows them to alternate between arguing, intentionally stepping away to build rapport, and then re-engaging the discussion from a more secure base. If you’re going through a rough patch, don’t stop talking about it altogether, but take breaks where you intentionally choose to do little things that remind each other that your relationship–and your commitment to loving each other– is bigger than this present problem.

3. Seek Help–Happy couples know that when a problem starts to feel overwhelming, it’s time to seek new resources. When you feel tempted to stop working on a problem–or stop working on your marriage altogether–see that as a sign that it’s time to get help. Read a new book together that offers new ideas for improving your relationship. Go on a Marriage Encounter or Retrouvaille weekend. Or seek professional marital therapy. Research shows that most struggling couples wait 4-6 years before seeking professional assistance but that just makes problems grow. Seek help early to get the new skills you need to reclaim the peace and joy in your marriage.

For more tips on how to make your marriage thrive, check out “For better…Forever! A Catholic Guide to Lifelong Marriage.” AND spend time with us every weekday at 10am ET by tuning in to More2Life on EWTN Global Catholic Radio.

Image via shutterstock. Used with permission

Not Listening! Three More2Life Hacks for How to Get Your Feelings Heard

Posted on February 8, 2017 by GREG

Sometimes it feels almost impossible to get your family, friends, or significant other to listen to your feelings and meet your needs. Here are three More2Life hacks, inspired by my book, God Help Me, These People Are Driving Me Nuts! that will help you effectively communicate your needs and start living a happier, healthier life!

1. Don’t Bury the Lede–When writers don’t start with the juiciest parts of the story, it’s called “Burying the lede.” Often, in our attempt to either be polite or give people all the facts, we talk around things rather than stating our needs and feelings up front, then we get offended when people’s attention wanders or they miss the point. When communicating, state your need or feeling up front. For instance, “I’d really like to get some time together, when are you available this week?” or “I was really frustrated with the way thus and such turned out. Let’s talk about how to do that better next time.” If you really want people to listen, don’t start with “Once upon a time” and get to your point around chapter three. Start with your point. Let any additional context come out in the conversation.

2. End With A Plan–When you talk with someone about your needs or solving a problem, don’t ever end the conversation without clear follow-up points. Too often, we feel like venting is the same thing as problem solving. Clients tell me all the time, “we talked about that problem a lot.” But when I say, “Great, and what did you decide to do about it.” I’m met with stunned silence. When people say, “I talked to him about that.” What they usually mean is, “I complained about that.” Complaining isn’t communicating, venting isn’t problem-solving. If a problem or need is important enough to talk about, don’t leave the conversation without know who is going to follow up with what, and when you are are going to check in with each other about it. If you want to feel listened to, always end with a plan.
3. When Words Don’t Work, Don’t Use More Words–When someone doesn’t want to listen to you, when they ignore your needs or refuse to deal with a problem, continuing to talk about it is not only fruitless, it is counterproductive. If someone doesn’t want to deal with a problem, one of the best ways to delay it is to simply agree to talk about it more without ever agreeing to do anything. If you have spoken to someone about your concerns a few times without getting any result, stop using words. Take action. Ask yourself what steps you will need to take to address the problem or meet the need on your own, then do it. If the other person complains, firmly, but gently, point out that you tried to enlist their help but they refused to talk about it, so you had no choice but to handle it. Then explain that next time, if they want a say in the solution, they should help you make a plan when you come to them in the first place. Don’t get caught up in the game of talking something to death so nothing ever has to change. When words don’t work, take action.

For more tips and tricks on how to improve your communication and relationships, tune in to More2Life, Monday-Friday 10am E/9am C on EWTN Global Catholic Radio Network.

COMING TUES on More2Life Radio: Coping with Frustration

Posted on August 20, 2013 by GREG

Coming Tuesday: Coping with Frustration–Everyone gets frustrated from time to time, but while it’s common enough, it stops us from enjoy life as the gift that it is. We’ll look at those things that cause us frustration and how to deal more gracefully with frustrating situations and people.

Plus, Dr. Joseph White of SharingCatholicFaith.com will share ways parents can tame their kids’ homework frustrations as the school year starts!

Call in at 877-573-7825 from Noon-1 Eastern (11-Noon Central) with your questions about

Can’t get M2L on a Catholic radio station near you? YOU CAN STILL HEAR US!
~ Listen via our FREE AveMariaRadio IPhone or Android App (Check your app store!),
~ Tune in live online at www.avemariaradio.net
~ or catch our archived shows via the M2L Podcast (also at avemariaradio.net)

WIN A FREE BOOK in our SUMMER BOOK GIVEAWAY! DRAWING FRIDAY! (Details below).

Q of the D: (Answer one or both to win!)

1. What situations in the course of your week tend to frustrate you the most?

2. How does frustration affect your mood and behavior?

*Win a free book! Every day you respond to the question of the day your name will be entered in a radio drawing to win a free book from the Popcak Catholic Living Library (over 10 titles in all)! Again, each day that you respond you will get another chance at winning a free book in the drawing held at the end of each week on More2Life Radio.

This week’s featured title is: FOR BETTER…FOREVER! A Catholic Guide To Lifelong Marriage.

For Better…FOREVER! explores what it takes to create and celebrate a great Catholic marriage from the newlywed years to late-in-life. The Catholic vision of marriage is unpacked amidst tons of practical, empirically-tested advice about communication, problem-solving, negotiating the challenges of different marital stages, sexuality, and a whole lot more. The is THE book no Catholic married couple should be without. A great resource for you and a great gift for Anniversaries and Newlyweds too!

Winners will be announced on air and contacted by FB message following the drawing this Friday 8/23

COMING MONDAY on More2Life Radio–When Faith Divides

Posted on August 19, 2013 by GREG

Coming Monday: When Faith Divides–In Sunday’s Gospel, Jesus says, “Do you think I came to bring peace?” We’ll look at those times when our faith puts us at odds with others and how to work toward peace in spite of those differences.

Plus, TOB Insitute’s Bill Donaghy reflects on how the Theology of the Body both challenges the culture and allows us to engage it more effectively.

Call in at 877-573-7825 from Noon-1 Eastern (11-Noon Central) with your questions about

WIN A FREE BOOK in our SUMMER BOOK GIVEAWAY! DRAWING FRIDAY! (Details below).

Q of the D: (Answer to win!) ~Describe a time that your faith has caused tension between you and someone you love.

This week’s featured title is: FOR BETTER…FOREVER! A Catholic Guide To Lifelong Marriage.

For Better…FOREVER! explores what it takes to create and celebrate a great Catholic marriage from the newlywed years to late-in-life. The Catholic vision of marriage is unpacked amidst tons of practical, empirically-tested advice about communication, problem-solving, negotiating the challenges of different marital stages, sexuality, and a whole lot more. This is THE book no Catholic married couple should be without. A great resource for you and a great gift for Anniversaries and Newlyweds too!

COMING FRIDAY on More2Life Radio– Overcoming “Mommy Guilt”

Posted on August 16, 2013 by GREG

Coming Friday: OVERCOMING “MOMMY GUILT”–Every mom experiences maternal guilt from time to time. Even small doses can really undermine both mom’s well-being and the parent-child relationship. We’ll explore mommy guilt and how to leave it behind–for good!

Call in at 877-573-7825 from Noon-1 Eastern (11-Noon Central) with your questions about getting past mommy guilt
Can’t get M2L on a Catholic radio station near you? YOU CAN STILL HEAR US! ~ Listen via our FREE AveMariaRadio IPhone or Android App (Check your app store!), ~ Tune in live online at www.avemariaradio.net ~ or catch our archived shows via the M2L Podcast (also at avemariaradio.net)

WIN A FREE BOOK in our SUMMER BOOK GIVEAWAY! DRAWING TODAY! (Details below).

Q of the D: (Answer one or both to win!)

1.Every mom has guilt pangs now and again. What situations tend to provoke mommy guilt in you?

2. What do you do to try to get past the mommy guilt you sometimes feel?

This week’s featured title is: The Life God Wants You To Have: Discovering the Diving Plan When Human Plans Fail— If you ever wondered how to figure out what God was doing in your life or what he wanted you to do, this book is for you. Discover surprisingly clear steps toward discerning God’s will for your life and how God can use even the most difficult times to bless you.
Winners will be announced on air and contacted by FB message following the drawing next Friday 8/16

COMING THURS on MORE2LIFE Radio: Holding on to Hope.

Posted on June 27, 2013 by GREG

Coming Thurs on More2Life: Holding on to Hope–When we’re going through hard times, the temptation to stop trying can be strong. We’ll look at what hope is, what it requires of us, and how to hold on to it even through the toughest times.

PLUS, Damon Owens, Executive Director of the Theology of the Body Institute, joins us to discuss overcoming challenges to hope.

Call in at 877-573-7825 from Noon-1 Eastern (11-Noon Central) with your questions about how to persevere under pressure.

WIN A FREE BOOK in our SUMMER BOOK GIVEAWAY! (Details below).

Q of the D: (Two-fer. Answer one or both to win!)

1. What does “hope” mean to you?

2. Give an example of a time in your life or relationships when you struggle with the temptation to just give up.

This week’s featured title is: God Help Me, This Stress is Driving Me Crazy! Finding Balance through God’s Grace –explores how to regain the emotional balance that stress, worry, and anxiety try to steal from you. You’ll discover strategies for getting your life in order, putting first things first, and mastering the emotions that threaten your inner-peace.

Winners will be announced on air and contacted by FB message following the drawing this Friday, 6/28.