Last time, we explored the power of couple prayer and how praying together can bring you closer not only to God but also to each other. But once you’ve made the decision to pray as a couple, you might find yourself wondering, Now what? How do we actually do this?
Dr. Greg Popcak, founder of the Pastoral Solutions Institute, reassures couples that there is no single “right” way to pray together. In Praying for and with Your Spouse: The Way to Deeper Love, Dr. Greg and Lisa Popcak remind us that the goal of prayer isn’t just to check it off a to-do list—it’s to cultivate intimacy.
“All prayer is an act of intimacy,” he explains. “It should draw you closer both to God and the people you’re praying with.”
If you and your spouse are just beginning to pray together, or if you’re looking for ways to make your prayer time richer and more meaningful, the Popcaks offer a simple, structured framework: the PRAISE method.
The PRAISE Method: A Simple Framework for Couple Prayer
To help couples overcome nervousness and ensure a balanced, heartfelt prayer experience, Dr. Popcak suggests using the PRAISE acronym:
1. P – Praise and Thanksgiving
Start your prayer time by expressing gratitude.
“Take a little bit of time to thank God for the things that have happened in your day,” says Dr. Popcak. “Praise God for his love and who he is to you, just like you would with your spouse when you express gratitude for them.”
This can be as simple as thanking God for small blessings—a good conversation, a safe trip, or a moment of peace in a busy day.
2. R – Repentance
While this isn’t a substitute for Confession, it’s a chance to reflect on your actions and attitudes.
“Take a little bit of time to talk about those things that you wish you had done differently that day—things that are obvious to each other,” Dr. Popcak suggests.
Maybe one of you lost patience, spoke too harshly, or was too distracted to truly listen. This step is about seeking God’s grace to love each other better tomorrow.
3. A – Asking for Your Needs
Many of us are naturally good at this part of prayer. But if you hesitate to ask for what you think you need, keep in mind that God wants us to bring our concerns to him.
In this step, share your worries, hopes, and needs—whether they’re about work, health, finances, or relationships. Be honest with God and with each other. Keep an open heart, trusting that whether God meets your needs in the exact way you want, he always wants you to grow and flourish.
4. I – Interceding for Others
Prayer isn’t just about our own lives; it’s also an opportunity to lift up others. This is something we do at every Mass during the Prayer of the Faithful.
“Bringing the people we care about to God is an important way we can serve them and remember them in our relationship with him,” says Dr. Popcak.
Pray for your children, family members, friends, neighbors, people in the world facing hardship—even (and maybe especially) the difficult people in your life. This helps cultivate a heart of generosity and compassion.
5. S – Seeking God’s Will
Some of life’s biggest decisions—changing jobs, moving, parenting challenges—require ongoing discernment.
“Bigger questions don’t have easy, quick answers,” Dr. Popcak acknowledges. “But bringing them to God regularly allows him to fill your heart and mind with his wisdom and clarity.”
In this step, talk openly with one another and with God about important decisions. Ask him to guide your choices and help you discern his will.
6. E – Expressing the Desire to Keep the Conversation Going
Finally, prayer shouldn’t be something you do and then forget about until the next time. “Prayer is a conversation with God that should continue throughout your day,” says Dr. Popcak.
He encourages couples to close their prayer time with a simple statement of commitment: “Lord, thank you for this time together. Help us to hear your voice and love each other well until we meet again in prayer.”
Making Prayer Your Own
One of the best things about the PRAISE method is its flexibility.
“The nice thing about this format is that it’s infinitely adaptable,” Dr. Popcak tells couples. “It can take ten minutes or an hour. You can incorporate formal prayers like the Rosary before or after, or just use this method on its own.”
The key is to make prayer a natural, life-giving part of your relationship. Whether you follow the PRAISE method exactly or simply let it inspire your prayer time, the most important thing is to bring your whole heart into prayer—just as you bring your whole heart into your marriage.
As Dr. Popcak puts it: “If you can do that, that’s all that really matters, because that’s all God and your mate really want—for you to love them with your whole heart, mind, and strength. And that’s what couple prayer is about learning to do.”
If you’d like more guidance on making prayer a meaningful part of your marriage, Dr. Greg and Lisa Popcak’s book, Praying for and with Your Spouse: The Way to Deeper Love, is a great place to begin. And if you need more personal help with your marriage, contact one of the pastoral counselors at CatholicCounselors.com.